Chapter 43
It’s Friday, and I have thought about Oliver non-stop.
The bookshop is quiet, and I have a throbbing headache.
Last night after work I swam until I felt exhausted.
I think I overdid it. At one point I did stop to float and let the water cradle me.
When I got out later, I felt a little lighter, but the second I arrived home and saw Lenny camped out by the door, waiting for Oliver, the heavy sad feeling returned.
It’s mid-morning and I feel like cancelling my plans with Henry. I am not in the mood to make friendly small talk. Miranda comes up to the counter and studies my face. ‘You look unwell, Nelly.’
I rub my forehead. ‘Just a headache.’
She frowns. ‘Why don’t you go home after your date with Henry?’
‘It’s not a date,’ I snap.
‘Well, go home and take the rest of the day as sick leave. You look deathly pale.’
I eye her with suspicion. What is she up to? I can’t recall her ever sending me home sick. ‘Are you okay, Miranda?’
She giggles. ‘I have been on a date with a new man and he’s coming into the shop this afternoon.’
Ah, I knew there was a reason.
‘I can’t have him seeing you looking like you’ve been dug up. Whatever will he think?’ She smiles. ‘Get some rest, Nelly.’
I watch her hurry away. The thought of going back to my flat after Henry’s coffee and wallowing in my sadness is appealing.
I can buy some new cereal on the way home too.
Last night I messaged Eva and she recommended that sugary cereal and chocolate work best on a broken heart.
She also offered to come over but I was too tired.
‘Can I buy this please?’ a man says, presenting me with the book he wants to buy.
It’s on the history of the motorbike. After he makes a payment, I slide his book into a bag and hand it to him.
Our fingers brush and when the light clears, I see him as an elderly man sitting by the bedside of another elderly man.
He’s holding the man’s hand and telling him he loves him.
His love will last a lifetime. I gulp back a wave of emotion as Oliver’s face appears in my mind.
The man puts his card back in his wallet as sound comes back to my ears. He looks around the shop. ‘My partner was supposed to be meeting me in here. I don’t know where he’s got to.’
‘Is he busy shopping?’
The man smiles. ‘Probably. I am not moaning. He can shop for as long as he wants. I am just glad he’s back in my life.’
I nod and fight back tears. How I wish Oliver was back in my life. ‘That’s nice,’ I croak.
Oblivious to my emotional state, the man starts to talk. ‘We split up a few months ago. He moved to the other end of the country. Newcastle, which is a long way away. I was sad for ages and then one day I decided I wanted him back in my life.’
My curiosity has piqued. ‘What did you do?’
He smiles. ‘I got on my bike and I drove to Newcastle. Just kept driving. Once I got there, I convinced him to give us another try.’ With a chuckle he says, ‘He’d been missing me and wishing he’d not moved away.’
‘That’s lovely.’
His phone starts to vibrate. ‘That’s him now. Goodbye.’
I watch him leave the shop and I serve a customer who is buying a book about Egyptian history.
Henry bursts into the shop at midday and the first thing I notice is the sweat on his brow. His jaw is clenched and his arm is trembling. ‘Are you okay, Henry?’
I am secretly hoping he wants to cancel our coffee trip.
‘I’m fine,’ he says, taking out a tissue to dab his forehead. ‘Shall we go?’
Miranda takes over from me at the till and winks as I leave.
The coffee shop, Bean & Cup, sits at the end of the high street.
On the outside, it is painted a soft sage-green, and inside, the air is filled with the scents of espresso and cinnamon.
After ordering we sit at a table nestled amongst some tall pot plants.
Henry keeps checking his phone as we wait for our coffees. ‘Everything alright?’ I ask.
He sighs. ‘My nan had a fall in the night. Mum is in A & E with her.’
‘Sorry, you should have cancelled.’
‘I couldn’t do that, Nelly.’ He lifts his gaze to mine and takes a deep breath. ‘I wanted to bring you here today to apologise for what I said the last time we met and—’
I don’t give him chance to finish. ‘It was okay, I’m not upset.’
He runs a hand through his hair, and his curls look like they’re quivering with excitement. ‘Nelly, I also brought you here to tell you how I…’
The waiter brings us our coffees, and Henry pauses. I sense he has something on his mind as he looks like he’s willing the waiter to leave.
As the waiter smiles and hurries away, I look at Henry.
He takes a deep breath and his phone starts buzzing.
With a groan, he looks at it and answers.
I watch as he leaves the table to talk in private.
My coffee tastes delicious and I make a mental note to bring Eva here.
A tall man enters with brown wavy hair and I think of Oliver.
My heart lets out a series of aches. Last night I rebuilt the pillow wall and lay in my half.
I sobbed in the darkness. ‘Oliver, I wasn’t done with loving you,’ I croaked, running my hand over the pillow wall.
Henry returns to the table. ‘I’m going to have to leave, Nelly. I need to get to London. My nan’s not great and my mum needs me to come home.’ He checks his phone. ‘There’s a train in half an hour.’
An idea illuminates the inside of my mind like Christmas lights switching on.
I could drive Henry to London and go see Oliver.
I could convince him to give us another go.
I recall how my bookshop customer drove to Newcastle when he and his partner broke up.
Oliver texted me his address in Chiswick West London, near where Henry lives.
Excitement ripples through me. ‘Henry, I have a better idea.’
* * *
Henry doesn’t think much of Nigella. When I first showed her to him, his first words were, ‘We’re driving in that? Please tell me you’re joking?’
I ignored him and opened Nigella.
We’re on the motorway. Henry is talking about his nan and how he just wants to hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be okay.
I am silently praying Nigella is in a good mood and gets us to London so Henry can see his nan, and I can persuade Oliver to give us another go.
I can’t believe I am doing this. I have become one of those delusional people I used to moan about who will go to extreme lengths for love.
‘Thanks for this, Nelly,’ he says, putting his bag by his feet. ‘I wanted to tell you something in the coffee shop, but we kept being interrupted.’
‘What is it?’
He takes a deep breath and glances out of the passenger window. ‘I’ve been thinking about you and…’
BUMP. Nigella suddenly lurches to one side. ‘Oh, God,’ I cry out.
‘A tyre has gone,’ shouts Henry, ‘pull over onto the hard shoulder.’
Luckily, we are near the hard shoulder and it’s not far for Nigella to crawl to. We jump out and I groan at the sight of her saggy front tyre. ‘Damn it,’ I snap.
Henry takes out his phone. ‘I’ve never changed a tyre. Are you with a breakdown firm?’
I climb inside the passenger side and pull down the compartment. Once I have found Aunt Polly’s insurance details, I see that she’s part of the AA. While Henry calls his mum, I call the AA.
Dark clouds are scurrying across the sky, and the sun has gone into hiding. It’s cold being on the side of the motorway and it’s not long before I am shivering. To make matters worse I can feel spots of rain.
Henry looks in the boot and finds an old travel blanket plus the black cap I bought Aunt Polly which she didn’t like. He hands them to me. ‘Put the blanket around your shoulders and stick the cap on.’
We stand by Nigella as cars and lorries thunder past.
‘My nan’s better,’ he says, reading a text from his mum. ‘She’s having a cup of tea and flirting with doctor.’
Relief floods through me.
‘Who were you going to see in London?’ he asks. ‘You said something about seeing a friend.’
‘Oh… Oliver. He was my flatmate, but he’s moved back to London.’ I gaze into the distance at the winding stretch of motorway.
‘Was he the bestselling author?’
‘Yes,’ I murmur. Instinctively I take a few steps and turning away from Henry. Nigella having a flat tyre is a sign, I tell myself. I was not meant to go see Oliver. We’re over. A wave of emotion crashes over me.