Chapter 44
Henry and I parted ways once the breakdown van towed Nigella home and back to a garage. He said he was going to go catch a later train. I sense something had changed between us as he looked sad and crestfallen. We said goodbye and he said we would catch up again soon.
Nigella’s tyre has been fixed and she’s back to her usual difficult self. Every time I go swimming, she stalls and the other day she tried to strangle me with the seatbelt outside the supermarket.
I miss Oliver terribly, but I know life must go on.
Swimming every day has been a godsend, and it’s now over a week since he left.
Miranda has been on cloud nine, as her new younger boyfriend (forty-two) thinks she’s amazing at fifty-five.
I am halfway through Mum’s journal, which is full of funny diary entries about Dad and me.
There’s been no mention of my curse, and I am starting to doubt whether she even had it.
Eva has been a godsend. She’s been over several times, clutching a plastic bag containing two bottles of wine, a box of tissues and a massive box of chocolates.
We’ve had a few lengthy emotional evenings and talking to her about Oliver has helped me a lot.
She’s also agreed to move back in to help with the rent.
According to her, we’re going to have some fun again, and I am looking forward to it.
She is proud of me for starting something with Oliver.
According to her, it was an act of bravery.
I have admitted that there are benefits of giving love a chance. With Oliver, there were lots of little pieces of joy. For the first time in my life, I also didn’t feel like the world was hostile.
It’s Sunday. I am pulling up outside Aunt Polly’s house in Tide-Leigh.
Last night, she sounded sad on the phone, and I have had a sleepless night worrying about her.
She opens the door, and I can see her eyes are pink and puffy.
Her woollen hat is pulled down over her bald head, and she’s wearing a dark top and baggy trousers.
She looks like a shadow of her former self.
I wrap my arms around her and ignore my vision.
The world goes quiet as my vision shows me the tiny padlock on the bracelet.
I can feel her sobbing into my chest. My eyes dart across the other photos on the wall of her hallway.
A picture on the wall catches my attention.
The image shows Hilary and my aunt standing, laughing into the camera.
Their eyes sparkle, and Aunt Polly’s smile is stretched wide from ear to ear.
It dawns on me that her extra-wide smile is something I haven’t seen on her face for quite some time.
Half of me wants to ignore it, but the other half yearns to look closely.
I look at the other photos while she sobs, and I see the same wide smile is reserved for Hilary.
The biggest clue to Aunt Polly and Hilary’s rift has been here on her hallway wall all along.
This was why she’s never taken these photos down.
Love has been lingering inside these photos.
I guide her to the sofa and sit her down. ‘Nelly, I used to think I was fine without love – that I could survive being single. But I see now how much it really matters to me. Not just to survive – but to live.’
I look into her eyes, and I can see that she’s still holding on to something. ‘It’s Hilary, isn’t it?’
She’s blinking at me in surprise. ‘I still love her, Nelly. How did you know?’
I explain about the photo album, the letters in the baking drawer and the hallway photos. ‘Why haven’t you contacted her?’
‘I’m scared of what she will think of me in this state.’
I fight back a wave of tears. ‘She loves you though.’
My aunt smiles. ‘I know, but I am now a slightly mad and bald little woman.’
‘You’re still you,’ I say softly, recalling what Amber said about Ben and his choice of photo for Kate’s balloon. He saw past her bald head and her ill state and just saw Kate, who he loved.
An idea unfolds in my mind, and inwardly I groan. I know what I must do. I need to give their love a chance. In my head I can see the faces of Ben, Alice, Juliet, and Mr Ellis. I helped them to give a love a chance and now I must do the same for my aunt.
‘How are you feeling physically today?’
She shrugs. ‘Just a bit tired and sad. Why do you ask?’
‘Get your bag, a blanket and some pillows. Also, any medication you need.’
‘Why?’
‘We’re going out for the day.’
If I tell her we’re going on a road trip, she won’t come. Once I’m on the motorway, she won’t be able to complain.
While she’s getting her bag, I go to the kitchen, pull open the drawer, and find Hilary’s address from one of the letters. I take a picture on my phone.
I fill up some water bottles in her kitchen and grab some biscuits.
At a garage on the outskirts of town, I check Nigella’s tyres, water, and fill her up.
‘Where are we going, Nelly?’ Aunt Polly asks from the back seat. She’s got a pillow and a blanket for if she’s cold.
‘Somewhere nice,’ I say, and pray Hilary is home, as this is a risky trip. If things get too much for Aunt Polly, I will have to turn back. If Hilary isn’t home, I might cry.
Once we’re on the motorway, Aunt Polly falls asleep, and it’s just me, my thoughts, the satnav app on my phone, and Nigella, the car.
I have no idea how this will turn out. I just hope my aunt can handle a long drive and the same again later tonight.
My mind brings up Oliver’s face. I wonder what he’s doing back in London. I hope he’s happier there and less troubled.
Before we left, I sent Eva a text message to ask if she can feed Lenny. She has a key to the flat and was going over today to say hello to Gary, who I am sure will be elated.
I need some music. I turn on the car radio and find a decent station playing eighties hits.
Aunt Polly often sleeps through my music when I take her back from chemo, so I know she won’t mind.
I’m halfway through enjoying a Duran Duran song when Nigella decides she’s heard enough and switches off the radio.
I try to turn it back on, and a few seconds later Nigella switches it off again.
Muttering under my breath, I reach into the glove compartment and pull out an eighties CD.
After shoving it in and pressing play, the sound of A-Ha fills the car and soothe my anxious mind.
She’s just spat out the CD and now I cannot get the radio or the CD player to work. ‘You are a nasty piece of work, Nigella,’ I mutter under my breath as I’m forced to drive the rest of the journey in silence.
Aunt Polly wakes up as Nigella stalls for the third time at a roundabout. I’m close to losing my rag with this car. We’re on the outskirts of Exeter, and Nigella has misbehaved non-stop for the past ten miles. The air in the car is blue.
‘Talk nicely to her, Nelly,’ my aunt advises from the back of the car. ‘Nigella is a delicate soul.’
‘She’s a car,’ I groan as I feel my seatbelt starting to tighten. This is Nigella’s payback.
Aunt Polly looks out of the window and sees a sign for Exeter. ‘Nelly… where are you taking me?’
‘It’s a surprise,’ I say, getting Nigella to start and trying to make it across the roundabout.
She gasps. ‘Please tell me you’re not—’
I interrupt her. ‘Taking matters into my own hands. Yes, I am doing that.’
‘No,’ she says. ‘Hilary can’t see me at my worst. I want to wait until I’m in remission, and I have hair.’
‘You’re not at your worst.’
‘I don’t have any hair.’
I shake my head. ‘Love can’t wait for your hair to grow back.’
‘This is madness, Nelly.’
I look at her shocked face in the rearview mirror. ‘You’re right about that. I’m becoming a supporter of love and romance.’
As we pull into Hilary’s street, I send a load of silent prayers to God.
Please let Hilary be home. Please let Hilary be home.
I park Nigella opposite number 43 and look up at the little terraced house. My heart has started to pound away inside my chest, and all the saliva in my mouth has evaporated.
For a few seconds, I grip the steering wheel and close my eyes. ‘Believe, Nelly,’ I whisper. ‘Believe.’
I flick my eyes open and clamber out. I help Aunt Polly out of the back seat. She casts me a look of terror. ‘I can’t do this.’
I stroke her face, and as she’s trembling, I put my arms around her.
There is a flash of light and when it clears, I see the hand with the silver padlock bracelet.
The world goes quiet as my vision passes and Aunt Polly looks up at Hilary’s house.
When the sound of the wind rustling the trees and a distant police siren returns, I look at my aunt.
‘When I touch you, I see a hand holding yours. The owner of the hand is wearing a silver bracelet with a padlock charm.’
She smiles at me. ‘I bought it for Hilary many years ago. I have the same one but from mine hangs a tiny key.’ To my surprise she pulls up her jumper sleeve and there it is.
‘Wow.’
‘It’s not a curse that you have, Nelly. It’s a wonderful gift.’
As we walk up the path, someone clears their throat in the garden opposite. I turn to see an older man pruning his roses. ‘Hilary’s out. She left early this morning.’
My stomach takes a nosedive. Driving all this way without checking to see whether Hilary was home was a stupid idea.
I feel Aunt Polly’s hand on my shoulder. ‘Let’s go home. She could be anywhere.’
We walk back to the car. ‘I think we should wait for a bit.’
‘It wasn’t meant to be.’
I glance at her bracelet, which is still on show. I remember Alice talking about signs. ‘We should wait. Your bracelet is a sign.’
I climb into Nigella and watch my aunt through the rearview mirror. She’s staring up at Hilary’s house, and her cheeks are damp. The sight makes my heart ache. Silently I urge her to be patient.
‘Let’s go back to Tide-Leigh,’ she says. ‘Maybe I’ll contact her when I’m better.’
Oliver’s face flashes up inside my mind. ‘We need to give love a chance.’