Chapter 15 - Nate
I knew it was a dick move, but as soon as I left Tessa's last night, I called Kenzie, letting her know that Tessa was looking rough and could use someone she was comfortable with to stay with her for the night.
I close my eyes and let the early morning air fill my lungs, replaying the text exchange with Kenzie when she got to Tessa's last night. Still unsure how I feel about it.
Kenzie: You are a shady AF man child
Me: It worked, though
Kenzie: You need to leave me out of whatever this is. I like her.
Me: More than me?
Kenzie: She might be my favourite person.
Me: gasp... does mom know?
Kenzie: I am serious, Nate. If you are trying to go after something with Tessa, she doesn't play games. And is she even your type?
Me: I didn't like leaving her there with Adam and Chase.
Kenzie: OMG, everyone is staring at me because I literally laughed out loud. These two are like protective mother hens or like weird older brothers with her.
Kenzie: It's not like she's with either of them.
Kenzie: Well, not anymore. And I am pretty sure she and Chase only fucked once or twice.
Me: Kenzie, WTF
Me: You are joking, right?
Me: Kenzie...
Me: You better be joking
Kenzie: What's that? Gotta go, big bro. I am being called to join the orgy
Me: Fuck... Kenzie, I need you to be serious with me
Kenzie: Night, Nate
I barely slept last night and then dragged my ass out of bed at 4:30 to get a run in before we came to my family's farm today.
Kenzie's texts, mixed with Chase's words on Canada Day, replayed in my mind.
Does it matter if something happened with Chase if it's over?
Fuck I can't judge, but something in me burns up at the thought of her with anyone else.
And I am having a hard time wrapping my head around why.
I take in another cool centring breath. Dad wouldn't take my calls, and Mom told me to give it time.
But I didn't want to, not after hearing Tessa's story last night.
It was like she was sharing her pain as a cautionary tale for me personally.
Like she could see that I was on the edge of no return with my family, with reality, really.
It was like she was bleeding out her pain for only me to hear.
I couldn't ignore it. I couldn't wait. I knew I needed to be here today to help make up for what went down yesterday.
The guys wanted to chip in and help, well, all but Colby, who said he had to get back to his life in the city. Reeves had taken a very shaken-up Olivia home and told me to let him know when Tessa was up for visitors.
I am not sure what is on today's schedule, so the guys and I are waiting by the work trucks for Eli or Dad to come out and assign work.
It's like the asshole was making me wait it out. I know they heard the trucks pull up.
Eli's the first out with a scowl on his face. Mom follows behind him, and then Dad, who doesn't even look up at me. He walks straight to the barn.
Mom looks at me with a sad expression, then follows Eli to where we are standing.
"What are you doing here, Nate?"
Eli's bark has bite, and it makes McKenna shift and fidget.
It makes me want to bite back, "Last time I checked, I was a part of this family too. We wanted to help after yesterday."
Eli takes a step towards me, trying to be intimidating, but it just makes me want to punch him in his smug face. "Your help is what caused all our problems yesterday."
Mom moves between us, reaching up and placing a palm in the middle of each of our chests. "Kenzie is going to stay with Tessa today. Chase and Adam moved things around last night and built her a makeshift bedroom. But she can barely move on her own."
That makes Eli's nostrils flare, and Jensen clears his throat like he is going to say something, but Mom keeps going. "So we are short-handed. I think it's great that all these boys want to take time out of their busy schedules to help."
Eli looks away but then nods. No one says no to Mom. "Fine, but I don't have Tessa and Kenzie here to babysit, so you guys’ better listen and keep up."
He turns to McKenna, who’s smiling like he’s on a school field trip. “You. You’re on muck duty. That’s the polite term for shovelling shit.”
McKenna blinks. “Like… actual shit?”
Eli deadpans, “Is there another kind?”
Anders laughs so hard he chokes on his coffee. “Welcome to the big leagues, rookie.”
“Jensen, you’re with me,” Eli continues, ignoring the laughter.
“We’re checking the south fence line and fixing the bent panels from yesterday.
Anders, you’re hauling posts and rolling wire.
Nate,” he turns to me, that hard glint still in his eyes, “you’re running the tractor today.
You remember how, or are your hands only good for signing autographs now? ”
I clench my jaw and nod. “Still remember which pedal makes it go forward.”
“Good,” he snaps. “Then you can follow my lead and try not to break anything else.”
The morning air is heavy already, the kind that sticks to your skin before the sun’s even climbed high. Everyone fans out. Anders helps me hitch the auger to the tractor while Jensen grabs gloves. There’s no glamour in any of it, just diesel, dust, and the sound of metal on metal.
McKenna, halfway across the barnyard, is swearing under his breath as he tries to figure out the shovel-to-wheelbarrow ratio of manure. Jamie’s filming from a safe distance, grin plastered across his face like he’s documenting a wildlife show.
“Content gold,” he says under his breath, snapping a shot of Anders swinging the post driver over his head like Thor. “Teamwork. Community. Redemption arc.”
I glare. “We are being careful about what we post, right?”
He sobers instantly. “Yeah. I’m keeping it tight. Your mom, Olivia, the work. The internet loves her, though, Nate. The video of Tessa helping Olivia braid her hair. Millions of views. But...."
He looks away, and my chest tightens. "What?" I snap.
"I didn't post it, I swear, but there are a few videos of Tessa saving Sloane. Someone put together a video that looks professionally edited. They managed to catch it all. She’s trending with the tag Cowgirl Angel.”
My chest tightens. “She’d hate that.”
“Probably,” Jamie says, smirking. “But the fans are eating it up. Makes the team look human again. This is not only good for your image, Cap, but also for the teams. Head office has been in contact, they are thrilled.”
I want to say something about how I am not home for PR, or for anyone else but me. But the words get stuck in my throat. I should set Jamie straight, but I don't.
By noon, every muscle in my body burns in a way I haven’t felt since rookie camp.
Eli’s been assigning us tasks like he’s trying to kill me through manual labour.
Fence repair. Hauling feed bags and cutting down fallen branches along the fenceline.
Anders’s shirtless, covered in sweat, swearing that his “city muscles” aren’t built for this.
McKenna looks like he’s aged a decade. Even Jensen, calm, unflappable Jensen, has a streak of dirt across his cheek and the faintest hint of a smile.
It feels good, brutal, but good.
It’s the kind of tired that clears the static in my head. The kind that burns off regret and noise. And somewhere between sweating through my shirt and catching Eli watching me without his usual glare, I realize this is the first time I’ve felt useful in months.
When Dad drives by in the truck, he doesn’t wave. But he slows down. I see the way his eyes flick over the scene, his son actually working, his team helping. The slightest nod, like he’s filing it away, like maybe I’m not a total disappointment after all.
We work straight through the afternoon, the guys laughing, swearing, helping each other out like they’ve done this forever.
McKenna gets tangled in a coil of barbed wire and yells, “This stuff’s more dangerous than half the defence lines we’ve played!”
Anders chuckles, “That’s because you can actually get your hands on the wire.”
Jensen grins, leaning against the post driver. “You two done flirting, or should we get the fence fixed before winter?”
Even Eli cracks a smile at that.
By the time we finish, the sun’s dipping low, bleeding gold through the trees. Sweat glues my shirt to my back. My hands are raw, my arms jelly, and my soul… lighter.
I lean against the fence, watching the herd shift in the distance, slow and content, tails flicking at flies. And for the first time in a long time, I feel something in me settle.
That’s how it goes for the next three days.
Up before sunrise. Run around the lake, the mist curling off the water like smoke. Then straight to the farm until the light fades.
Eli stops barking orders by day two. Dad starts bringing us sandwiches instead of scowls. Mom insists on dinner with the whole crew each night, her kitchen table overflowing with bodies and noise.
By the third evening, we’re less like a hockey team and more like a family. The fence lines gleam straight and solid. The gates swing true. The feed bins are full.
Jamie keeps posting photos, McKenna getting bucked off a hay bale, Eli and me on horseback, and Kenzie leading Jensen around on a horse. One shot of me holding a calf steady while Eli tags its ear goes viral. Comments flood in: Captain Carson’s comeback. Family, faith, and hard work.
I scroll through them late that night, lying on the dock, phone dim against the stars. Every photo, every video, every smiling face, Tessa’s name in the comment section. Everyone wants to know who she is and if she is ok.
She’s not even here, and somehow, she is all around me. Kenzie said she’d be back soon. That Chase wanted her to rest for a couple of days. That she needs time before she can have visitors. But everyone’s waiting.
Maybe me most of all.
Because after three days of trying to make things right, I’m starting to think the only thing I can’t fix is the one thing I can’t stop thinking about.