Chapter 16 - Tessa
I woke up four days after the incident with a cantankerous bull. I know it wasn't Rex's fault. He's an old bear but has never intentionally hurt anyone. He is big at just over two thousand pounds. And the only other time he hurt me was because the oaf doesn't realize how big he is sometimes.
Kenzie called me in a panic this morning.
I couldn't make out all her words, but the gist of it was that Rex has been in a tizzy since the accident, and John was considering culling him.
Rex is coming up on five years old, the end of the road for a breeding bull and with the problems he's faced with his foot and leg.
.. well, it doesn't look good. We performed the breeding soundness exam a few months ago, and the veterinarian I work with agreed with me in clearing Rex for at least another year.
It took all of me to get up and get dressed after the call, but I needed to get to the farm.
I needed to get my eyes on Rex and talk down John.
Bruising covers most of my body now, not just from the impact of the hit but everything that came after.
I am stiff and want to crawl back into bed, but I know what's best is to start moving again, even if each step and breath feels like agony.
I swallowed down my pain and packed a bag full of what I would need to make it through the day.
As well as making sure my various kits were well-stocked and loaded in the back of my truck.
I have other clients I need to check in with.
I don't think I have ever been unavailable since I graduated and moved back here.
So, I need to show my face, calm the rumours skittering around and let everyone know that in no way was what happened the Carsons' fault.
I would hate for the accident to harm their reputation.
I don't go to the main house; I don't need to fight with Eli before I can get eyes on Rex and understand what's going on. From what I gathered, they haven't moved him, and no one has tried to get in to check on him.
Each bump in my truck feels like hell, but I grit my teeth and know this is what needs to be done. I was hoping no one would be out this far, but just my luck, it looks like everyone is. Including a certain hockey player, I can't stop thinking about and his teammates.
Eli is the first to react, a scowl taking over his face as he jogs my way.
I know I need to get out of my truck before he blocks my exit, so I suck in a deep breath and move as quickly as possible, making it out my door just as Eli reaches me. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
I roll my eyes at the grumpy ass, "Good to see you too, Eli. I am feeling better, thank you for asking."
He rakes his eyes over me, "I know you aren't feeling better, Tess, Chase, and the moms have been filling me in."
I internally chuckle at the term 'the moms', a group of momma bears who take care of everyone, even us strays.
You would never know their kids were all adults and some were having babies of their own.
Even though I am technically alone, I never felt it, not since coming back here and definitely not in the days since my accident.
I am pretty sure Judy created a schedule, and I had a full rotation of helping hands and food being dropped off like clockwork around the time my pain meds were due.
I make eye contact with him so he can see, "Eli, you and I both know that with these types of injuries, I can't let my muscles lock up or go stiff. Plus, I was going fucking crazy on bed rest. I woke up once to your mom, Diane and Judy planning my wedding. To who... not sure that it matters."
That finally gets a smile from Eli. "They love you, Tess. We all do."
I place my palm on his chest, "Then trust me that I know what I am doing."
Eli studies me for a moment and then asks, "Can I hug you?"
I nod, and he gently pulls me in. He is kind of like Rex, a big, grumpy oaf, who is a softie on the inside. "You scared the crap out of me, Tess," he reveals on an exhale, "Don't you ever pull that shit again."
I nestle into him for a moment, "You know I can't promise that, right?"
Eli growls in response and then sighs, pulling me closer.
I chuckle and try not to wince as I let myself be comforted by him and not for the first time wonder what it would be like with Eli and me.
Maggie tried her hardest to push Eli and me together at first, but he always shot his mom down so quickly.
"Your fan club is going to want to say hi," he says into my hair.
I laugh, looking over his shoulder to see a group of hockey players who look like they've been rolling in the mud watching us. "Can you get the chute set up for Rex?"
Eli looks at me like I am insane, and maybe I am.
But I can't let John make a bad decision that could hurt his business based on an accident.
"Kenzie called me in a panic, saying your dad is thinking of culling Rex.
I can't let that happen, Eli. You know it would be a mistake.
You need a few options from this round of breeding for his replacement, and we planned on him having one more year. "
Eli curses under his breath and looks over at Rex. Who seems to be watching us. "Fine," he mutters. "Let's see what these hockey players are made of."
We walk together towards the group. Kenzie is standing close to Nate; his brow is furrowed, and they look to be arguing.
He turns to me, his eyes so similar to Eli's and yet so different. "What are you doing here?"
I eye Eli, "You two sure know how to make a girl feel wanted. Hi Nate, nice to see you. I am here because it is my job, and Kenzie called me."
"Why?" his annoyance hasn't lessened, and it pisses me off.
Two can play at this game, "Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Man, I will get my secretary to forward all my appointments, you know, for shits and giggles, my whole calendar. Just let me know how long you plan on playing farmer, and I will coordinate appropriately."
I can hear McKenna whisper to Kenzie, "Can I have her schedule, too? Maybe she can teach me how to ride a horse with Olivia."
I can see Kenzie trying to hold back her giggle.
I don't stop. "I am here to check on Rex, to make sure that little Miss Red Soles didn't fuck up your family's breeding program for the next three years.
" I know that was harsh, and I can tell by the way Nate's body tenses that I hurt him.
But I am tired and cranky, everything fucking hurts, and I am so tired of bossy men.
Plus, he needs to understand the severity of the situation.
I will also never admit that I am scared shitless, even though I know I shouldn't be.
Nate just stares at me.
I hear McKenna again, "Who is Rex?"
Kenzie sighs, replying, "The bull."
A squeak escapes McKenna, and he pales, "Why would she be going anywhere near him?"
I growl, "Because it's her job."
Everyone stands staring at me, and I need to get this over with. Just like the first time I was tossed from a horse, I have to get up, dust myself off and get back at it.
"Are you all going to stare at me or help?"
I hear a mix of answers. Kenzie mouths 'thank you,' and I offer her a smile.
Eli gets the guys to gather and assemble the chute attached to the pen. My eyes trail it, as if I can see evidence of what happened. A thought pops into my head: "What did you do with her heels?"
Kenzie grins widely, "I saved them, thought we could have a bonfire when you are feeling up to it."
I give her a look, and she rolls her eyes at me, "They aren't salvageable, and we need to cleanse that incident away."
I direct Lukas and Erik to grab my supplies from the truck and hobble my way to the pen.
I catch a glimpse of John's truck approaching, so as they drop my gear, I tell them to take a break so I can get the big guy in the chute.
I can tell Rex isn't happy, and I want to make it as easy on him as possible.
I bend, trying to breathe through the pain and grab an apple and slip a cookie and a syringe into my pockets. I approach the pen, and Rex takes a few steps back from me like I am the offending party. "Come on, don't make this harder on me. I need to check out that leg."
Like Rex knows what I am talking about, he tucks it up gingerly.
I stand at the edge of the pen, leaning towards him.
His eyes drift to the apple in my hand. But he still doesn't move.
I take a bite just big enough to break the flesh and entice my buddy to come and play nice.
I drape my hand with the apple into the pen and look away from Rex.
I see John talking to Eli and Kenzie while the rest of the group stands awkwardly, eyes darting between them and me.
Nate's eyes are laser locked on me. I wink at him for fun.
Then I feel hot breath on my hand, and then a rough tongue, and just like that, my apple is gone.
Nate looks like he has no idea what to do with me, same captain.
.. same. I turn my attention back to Rex, and his big, beautiful, brown eyes stare back at me.
He huffs, and I feel a splatter on my face.
"I know, buddy, it wasn't your fault. I wanted to run when she screamed, too. "
He sniffs my hand, looking for another apple.
I take the time to calm my nerves by giving him scratches on the top of his massive head.
I take another look at the group and see Kenzie step in front of her dad, as he tries to make his way to me.
I need to get Rex into the chute and prove to John that we should stick to the plan.
"Ok, Rex, I don't blame you, but others do. So, I need you to be a good boy."
I break off a piece of the cookie in my pocket and grab the syringe with my other hand.
I slide the guard off, and as I offer my palm with cookie pieces to Rex, I slide the hand with the syringe up his neck.
As he chomps away, I administer the small dose of sedative that will only help him relax, not put him under.
He huffs in my face again like he knows what I just did, but I don't stop.
In my peripheral vision, I see John stomping toward me.
The freaking Carson men are just like this bull.
I break off another piece of cookie and start to move towards our destination, hoping that Rex will play along and follow.
Just like the puppy, he sometimes thinks he is Rex, trails behind me, sniffing at my hand.
I stop for a moment to catch my breath. Everything has started to throb, but I know it's not time for my pain meds yet, and I need to get through this.
I offer the palm with cookie pieces to Rex before reaching into my pocket and continuing the process until Rex has followed my path into the chute, and just in time.
John is huffing when he gets to the pen, but I don't allow him to get the first word in. "Help a girl out and close the gate?"
He doesn't say a word, but he does as I ask and then moves to stand next to me.
I know we are all shaken by what happened, but it is not Rex's fault. I keep my eyes on the bull, watching as his muscles start to relax and he finishes the cookie. "I am going to check his leg and hoof. By how he's walking, I can only assume that he aggravated it more."
John grunts but says nothing else.
"It will need to be cleaned, maybe drained and then wrapped. I brought a couple of hoof blocks just in case; if needed, Dr. King will come and do a full workup. But based on what we were treating before the incident, I think what I have planned will be enough."
I don't need to say anything else.
Everyone else has started to move closer, braving the two hot heads with me.
I run my hand under Rex's jaw and feel his calmed pulse.
I kiss my brave boy on his nose and then go to move.
A hiss escapes me, but I keep going to the side of the chute with the bad leg.
As I kneel to examine Rex, John comes up beside me again, places a hand on my shoulder and says, "Your dad is so proud of you, Tessa. "
I breathe my way through the tears that threaten to let loose and the pain radiating through me and respond by leaning my head against John's arm.
I work on Rex's foot and leg, getting him fixed up for a day or two. The guys all chatter around me, asking questions as I work. Then, with some more pain meds, I finish my rounds for the day.
After a hot shower, I gingerly get myself into my bed, which currently resides in the middle of my living room.
But not before grabbing my letters to my dad.
I don't read them, I know what they say.
But I do hold them. They make me feel closer to him and help me believe what John said is true.
That somewhere, somehow, my dad is watching me, and he is proud.