Chapter 12
Rome
Please say yes?
Is she for real right now?
There isn’t a force on earth that could make me refuse to kiss her.
I lower my head slowly, watching her lids flutter closed just as my lips touch hers. I kiss her softly, light nibbles to ease into what I know will become intense if I let it. But I don’t want to rush this—we’ll only have one first kiss. I don’t know if it’s one she’ll always remember but I will.
Her soft sigh as her lips part.
The way the fingers of one hand drift into the hair at the back of my neck, gently caressing.
A faint taste of cinnamon as the tip of her tongue comes out to meet mine.
The almost imperceptible moan as our mouths lock together and she presses those perfect tits against my torso.
Fuuuuck.
She’s sweet.
Way too sweet for a make out session in the middle of Venice Beach.
I pull away regretfully but her eyes remain closed and there’s a faint smile on her lips—as if she’s still lost in the kiss.
“Yum,” she whispers.
God damn.
If almost any other woman had that reaction to my kiss I would laugh, but not with Billie. She’s delightfully earnest in her reactions, and it’s jarring how badly I want her.
But we have nowhere to go where we can be alone and it feels somewhat dirty to take her to a hotel.
“Do you want to keep skating?” I ask after a moment.
Her eyes slowly open and she licks her lips. “Sure. For now.”
She slides her hand into mine and we go back in the direction we came.
There doesn’t seem to be anything to talk about so we don’t, but I’m acutely aware of her hand in mine and the pure joy on her face every time I glance over at her.
Even if she never speaks to me again, I’ll have no regrets because I got to help her find her way back to this.
Her delight is immeasurable, and I can only hope the kiss we shared was at least half as enjoyable.
“We could drop off our skates and walk to Santa Monica,” she says. “I want to ride the Ferris wheel on the pier.”
“Any particular reason?” I ask curiously.
“Because I never have.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
We return the skates and get our things and then she surprises me by not putting on her shoes.
“Let’s walk along the shore? It’s probably about six miles but I really want to.”
“Okay. I’m game.”
“Are you sure? You’re not too tired? You played today, and I know how hard that is on your body.”
I chuckle. “I’m not too tired for a walk on the beach. I’m up for whatever you want.”
“Okay.” We carry our shoes and walk down toward the water but not close enough to get wet because it’s way too cold for that. For me anyway. I don’t know if Billie thinks so but she doesn’t seem eager to get wet either.
“You looked strong on skates,” I say after a while. “I bet you were breathtaking on the ice.”
She smiles. “I don’t know about breathtaking but I loved it.”
“You never wanted to go back? Even after you were healed.”
She shakes her head. “Even if I wasn’t traumatized from the accident, the truth is—competitive ice skating is expensive.
Bodi didn’t have the money. I got Social Security from my parents until I was eighteen, and we still just barely survived.
He was making the league minimum in the minors.
He was eighteen. He could barely take care of himself, much less navigate the competitive skating world. ”
I nod.
That makes sense.
As annoying as Bodi is, I have a fuck-ton of respect for him. I can’t even imagine taking full custody of one of my sisters at eighteen.
“He did a hell of a job,” I say. “That would be a lot for anyone, and exponentially so for an eighteen-year-old kid.”
“I know. That’s why I forgive him every time he pulls some Neanderthal move that pisses me off.
Don’t get me wrong, I love him. My brother is steadfast, reliable, and truly an amazing human being.
But he hasn’t dealt with his trauma, so his reactions to almost anything to do with me are over-the-top and sometimes ridiculous.
You should have seen his face when I came home with the eyebrow piercing.
” She’s shaking her head but there’s a fondness in her expression that reflects understanding along with frustration.
“He must’ve shit a brick.”
“Oh, yeah. But I was almost nineteen, and I used my birthday money, so it’s not like he could do anything. I was in college, living in the dorms, and getting straight A’s.” She playfully nudges me with her elbow. “He doesn’t know about my other piercings.”
Other piercings?!
My dick just twitched again.
“I’m afraid to ask,” I say, trying to keep my tone light.
“Oh, you know damn well you want to ask.”
I nearly sigh but my mouth seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to her. “Okay, you win. What other piercings do you have?”
“My left nipple.”
Yeah, I had a feeling.
“Anything else?”
She smirks. “You’re going to have to kiss me again before I give up that information.”
Is she trying to tell me… nope. Not going there.
No way, no how.
Sensing my discomfort, she bursts out laughing.
“Does talking about piercings embarrass you?”
“Nooo.” I draw out the word to give myself a little time to think about a proper response. “It’s just…fuck.” I stop walking and jerk her around so she’s facing me. “What are we doing, Billie?”
She cocks her head. “Is that a trick question? Because I think it’s obvious.”
“Babe, you’re beautiful. Smart, sassy, and a lot of fun...”
“But?” She pulls her hand out of mine and folds her arms over her chest, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“But Bodi. That’s the but . The elephant in the room.
We can joke about his overprotectiveness and whether or not I’m afraid of him, but at the end of the day, we work together.
I’m making over a million dollars this year, and I need that money.
I really need one more year to be able to pay off all my debts and get some money in the bank.
If Bodi finds out we’re…doing whatever we’re doing…
he’s not going to be happy. And no matter what you might think, it will spill over into the locker room.
If guys have to take sides, it will cause the kind of problems that could get me traded.
And if no one wants me, I’ll be forced into retirement. ”
Her expression is hard to read.
She hears me.
She understands.
I don’t think she’s taking my words lightly.
But there’s no doubt she has a lot to say about it.
“Bodi and I haven’t had money since our parents died.
There was a small life insurance policy, around a hundred thousand dollars, and Bodi invested half for him and half for me.
I forget the details, something safe, that would hopefully give us a start in life when the time comes.
He played hockey and waited tables, worked at a gym, did house sitting…
did whatever he had to do to make sure I had everything I needed.
We survived and we’re fine. Money doesn’t mean anything to me. ”
“I know, but?—”
“There’s no but. There’s just this. Us .
I don’t know what it is. I like you. I like how it feels when we’re together.
You make me feel safe without smothering me the way Bodi does, and it’s refreshing.
I think you’re hot. That kiss we just shared was fucking amazing.
I want to kiss you again. I want to hold your hand and ride the Ferris wheel together.
I want to sit across the dinner table from you and listen to your voice while you tell me about hockey or whatever else…
I’m not looking for a rich husband to take care of me—I can take care of myself.
“I just want to spend time with you. I don’t know if it’s just today or forever or a brief blip on the radar of our lives. But how do we find out if we don’t try? There’s no reward without risk.”
Spoken like a twenty-two-year-old who hasn’t weathered two divorces, six hockey teams in the last ten years, and has probably never seen a forty-thousand-dollar credit card bill.
And yet, despite all that, she’s right.
“I’m thirteen years older than you,” I point out needlessly. “You probably want kids someday and by the time you’re ready, I’ll be in my forties.”
She laughs. “Kids are nowhere on the current life radar, and so what if you’re in your forties? You planning to retire from hockey and go wither away in your mountain cabin or whatever?”
She really is a smartass.
“No, but?—”
“Look, stop with the buts. I don’t care what Bodi wants.
I love him, but he doesn’t get to rule my life.
I definitely don’t care about the age gap—I happen to think you’re sexy as fuck, both inside and out.
And I give zero fucks about how much money you have.
That said, I do care about your reputation and what happens in the locker room.
I’m not taking that for granted. But no one has to know.
Right now, we’re two people getting to know each other.
Seeing what there is to see. If that changes, then we’ll discuss a game plan. Until then, we stay casual.”
“Honey, do you really think we can keep this casual? We can joke and dance around it, but the chemistry between us is so hot it’s about to light itself on fire. I’ve jerked off thinking about you every god damn night since we danced together at Blue Thunder and?—”
“You have?” She moves against me. “Because I had to name my vibrator Roman Emperor.”
My hands glide around to cup her ass. “Sweetheart, I need to be inside you more than I need to breathe, and we don’t have anywhere to go.”
She reaches up and puts her hands on either side of my face. “We’ll figure it out. The only question is whether or not you want to try. Do you want to see what there is to see or do we walk away now? We’re not past the point of no return. Not yet.”
Yeah, we are.
She just hasn’t realized it yet.