Chapter 13
Billie
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
Well, I’m pretty sure a kiss is only worth one—and that word is yes .
Because Rome didn’t answer my question with a word, he just kissed me. As sweetly and passionately as anyone ever has.
He might not be willing to verbalize it but there was a promise in that kiss, an emotional, poignant promise. I just don’t know what he’s promising me.
All I know is that we walked the rest of the way to Santa Monica hand-in-hand only to find out that the rides closed before dark.
“Darn,” I whisper.
“We’ll come back,” he says softly. “Come on. It’s cold and dark out. Let’s take an Uber back to the car and then go get a late dinner.”
“Okay.”
I nestle against him in the Uber, resting my head against his shoulder. I love how solid he is, both inside and out. We haven’t had enough time together for me to know the man inside too well, but I’ve seen glimpses and I like everything I’ve seen.
In some ways, he reminds me of Bodi, just less knee-jerk crazy and more steady reliability. Like in the bar, when he saw a man hassling a woman he didn’t know. He reluctantly danced with me. Didn’t ask for my number or try to hook up—he just did the right thing.
It was the same when he went with Bodi to rescue me at the apartment. He had no idea what he was walking into but he went because his roommate—his new teammate—might need backup.
Not to mention coming skating with me today.
He didn’t have to.
He played this afternoon, so spending the evening roller skating was a big ask, especially this time of year when it’s chilly by the water and gets dark early, but he did anyway. Because he understood how important it was.
Those things tell me most of what I need to know.
The details don’t matter.
And that damn kiss.
It spoke volumes.
I’ve kissed a lot of boys.
A few men.
And nothing in my past prepared me for kissing Rome Castellano. It was an out of body experience because as much as I wanted to be in the moment, I was also somewhere else, watching with a little bit of awe. Nothing has ever been that sexy… that all-encompassing.
I’ve had lots of sex—virgins don’t get the hoods of their clits pierced—but I’m not sure I’ve ever had an orgasm as powerful as the desire shooting through me while we kissed.
It’s hard to explain because it’s different. He’s different.
And until I’m a hundred percent sure this thing between us isn’t as important as I think it is, I couldn’t let him walk away.
I’ll deal with Bodi if I have to.
If Rome and I fall in love, and it gets serious, Bodi will come around. He’s many things, most of them annoying, but my brother loves me. There’s never any doubt about that, so I can’t let his bluster scare away the most intriguing man I ever met. Even if I loathe the idea of sneaking around.
“What do you feel like eating?” Rome asks once we’re in his SUV with the heat turned up.
People think of sunshine and palm trees when they think of Los Angeles, but we still have winter here. And I quickly discovered that it can be downright frigid at night.
“Let’s go back to the diner,” I say when I realize he’s waiting for an answer. “That chicken parm was amazing and I want to tell Nita in person that I’m going to take the job.”
“How do you know she’ll be there?”
“She texted me to say I can stop by any evening except Sunday—that’s her day off. Otherwise, she’s always there from about four until closing time.”
“The diner it is.” He turns onto the freeway going north.
“I’m so excited about this job,” I say. “I hope it’s not too much for me.”
“Have you waited tables before?”
“Oh, yeah. Through most of college. Just nowhere that busy. That’s going to take some getting used to. Not to mention, I don’t think I’ve ever skated carrying a tray! I can envision going ass over teakettle with five entrees landing on top of me.”
“You’ll be fine,” he says warmly. “Once you got going, your body knew what to do. It was like no time had passed.”
“I don’t know about that, but I appreciate you saying it.”
“Would you like to go ice skating sometime?”
“Uh…” I’m caught off-guard. “I really hadn’t thought about it.”
“They have that outdoor rink at the mall up in Van Nuys. I think it’s closing soon, though.”
“And you’re leaving on a road trip tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You have to work. Maybe we can go to an indoor one when you get back. Somewhere outside of L.A. where you won’t easily be recognized.”
“Yeah.”
There’s a moment of heaviness as reality momentarily sets in.
“Sneaking around doesn’t usually end well,” he says.
“Short-term,” I say firmly. “If by the end of the season we’re still seeing each other, I’ll talk to Bodi. If not, we’re adults who can go our separate ways. I know it’s never quite that simple, but we’ll figure it out.”
“You’re not like any woman I’ve ever met,” he says after a moment.
“Is that good or bad?”
“As far as my personal life goes, most of the women that I’m not related to were either one-night stands or I’m now divorced from, so I’d say it’s very good.”
“Two divorces sound awful.”
“They were.”
“Does that mean you never want to get married again?”
“That’s a tough question. My knee-jerk response would be hell no.
But I know that’s trauma talking, not my heart.
I’d like to wake up next to the same woman every morning.
Make love to her. Share a life together.
I’ve just learned the hard way that it’s hard to find.
Most of the women in my orbit were after something.
Money, bragging rights, something that didn’t include building a quiet life together. ”
“Does it have to be… quiet ?” I ask curiously.
“Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly quiet.
Don’t get me wrong, I like quiet time . Lazy Sunday mornings in bed.
Spending a rainy day cuddled on the couch watching movies or whatever.
But I also like to go out. And I’ve never had the money to travel, but that’s high on my list too. ”
He’s silent for a beat. “If I’m completely honest, I haven’t put a lot of thought into it.
Both of my wives wanted to be out and about all the time.
Showing off at the games. Spending money like it was a full-time job.
There was no such thing as quiet. Ever. I don’t know that I’ve ever spent a rainy day cuddling on the couch with a woman. ”
“I’ve never been married but Joey—my boyfriend junior year of college—and I used to spend a lot of time doing that. Going to movies. There were also parties and sporting events and whatnot, but life is a balance. At least, that’s how I envision it.”
“Sounds right in theory. It just hasn’t been my experience.”
“Time to add some experiences then.” I reach across the center console and rest my hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly.
He chuckles. “I feel like we’re suddenly having two different conversations.”
“Nope. It’s the same one. Quiet and busy. Work and play. Naughty and nice.”
This time his chuckle turns into a full-on laugh. “You’re something, you know that?”
“I know.” I let my hand drift up his leg but don’t actually move between his legs. I’m a flirt and a little bit of a tease, but we’re not sleeping together yet, and I’m happy to take things slow.
“I wish I wasn’t leaving tomorrow.”
“Me too. But look on the bright side.”
“Yeah? What’s the bright side?”
“Phone sex.”
I expect laughter but the look he casts in my direction is filled with heat.
“Be careful what you wish for, Billie.”
“Why? You want me to pretend I’m not dying to get naked with you? Act all shy and demure? Because that’s not who I am. If that’s what you’re looking for then?—”
“I didn’t say that’s what I was looking for. I’m just worried that once you unleash the beast, there won’t be any turning back.”
“There was never going to be any turning back, Rome. The time to turn back is now.” I pause, suddenly a little unsure. “Are we… turning back?”
He doesn’t say anything at first, but reaches down and wraps a big, warm hand around mine.
“From the moment you kissed me earlier, I knew there was no turning back. Now it’s just a matter of how we go forward.”