Chapter 26
There was only one bed in Hawk’s hotel room. She should have known that was a possibility. Why hadn’t she considered it when she agreed to go to a quiet space? At least her room had two beds.
But that was because she’d come to the hotel expecting to share it with her best friend.
Oh, Margo…
She wasn’t sure if she was going to thank her friend or kick her butt tomorrow after realizing this was all a setup from the very beginning. Lilian sighed. She really should have seen this coming. But with everything going on with the store, well… maybe that kind of foresight wasn’t possible.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Hawk started tugging at the buttons on his shirt. “That’s better. Do you mind if I take this off? I’m dying to get into something a little more…”
“Like you?”
His smile was lopsided. “Yeah? Is that okay?”
Lilian couldn’t suppress a smile as she strolled through the room, pretending to study it. In actuality, it looked almost identical to her own. “Sure. I liked the costume, by the way.”
“Really?” Hawk pulled his shirt off, making a mess of his hair. The sight surged a familiar tenderness for the man.
“Yeah,” she whispered, forcing herself to take in the cityscape outside the window. Christmas lights decorated the city, embedding it in magic. “But it also looks strange. Not bad strange. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… polos suit you.”
He threw the shirt to the ground. Lilian turned back to him and gulped. Naked suited him as well. To her surprise, he didn’t reach for a polo or even a T-shirt. Instead, he sat on the bed and started on the leather boots.
“Wait, wait. I actually like those boots.”
“Really?” A dark brow arched in some underlying meaning as he lifted his leg and slowly began to pull the boot off. Almost like a strange strip tease. “You like this?”
“Excuse me, sir.” Lilian laughed as a full blush exploded across her cheeks. “I came here to talk.”
“You said you liked my boots.”
“I do. I wouldn’t mind you wearing them again. But is the strip tease really necessary?”
“What my lady wants, my lady gets.” One boot came off with a strange sucking pop, and it flew across the room, nearly hitting a lamp. She and Hawk stared as the fixture wobbled precariously and finally settled. After which, Hawk turned to the next boot with a little more care.
“So, I’m your lady now?”
“If you’ll have me.” The second boot came off. This time, Hawk kept his grip on it and set it aside. Now shirtless, barefooted, and wearing a pair of very shiny, very tight black pants. She hadn’t noticed the pants before, but they were the only thing left covering him. And she couldn’t look away.
How did he look better half dressed? It wasn’t fair.
“I’m still considering things,” she answered.
“What if,” Hawk said, stepping toward her, “I told you the real reason why I decided to help you with your business?”
Her insides squirmed in temptation, but she kept her face blank.
“You already told me,” she reminded him, holding up a hand and revealing a finger with every reason he’d given her in the past. “Because I asked for help. Because a good idea is half the battle. Because I’m a work horse, apparently.
And because I can be creative when I’m desperate for solutions. ”
His brow shot up. “I think you ad-libbed some of those reasons.”
“But was I correct?”
A flash of perfectly white teeth told she was missing the most important reason of all.
She crossed her arms, staring at the man on the bed.
“If you say it’s because you’ve loved me all this time, I won’t believe it.
” Those first weeks at the faire hadn’t been love.
It had been disdain in its most pure form.
Everything she did annoyed him. And vice versa.
Sure, they’d grown past that, but there was no point in lying about it now.
He shook his head. “I was going to say the reason I helped you was because you introduced something I’ve never seen before.”
It was like he’d taken a pair of scissors and cut the tension out of her body. Lilian hadn’t been expecting it. “You’d never seen a bookstore before?”
“Not at the faire.” He leaned in, smiling at her disbelief.
“That’s what intrigued me. Just a little at first. And then you gave my mom that book, which was another thing I hadn’t seen coming.
And you kept finding new ways to help your store…
all of it caught me off guard. Including the moment you asked for my help. ”
“Are you saying I’m… unpredictable?” No one had ever described her that way before. But then again, she’d never done anything like opening up a shop at the faire, either.
Hawk looked up at her, his dark hair falling into his eyes. The lines of his jaw were slack, bringing a softness to his face. With the mask off, she could make out the newly added lines of stress. Despite them, though, he looked happy.
“Lilian, you are one of a kind.”
She swooned against the power of his voice but managed to keep her feet firmly on the ground. After everything he’d said to her downstairs, she knew it wasn’t fair to test him again. But she needed to hear him say it. “What do you want from me, Hawk?”
He laughed. “That’s my line.” Standing, he stepped toward her. When she didn’t retreat, he took her hands and said, “I told you that after the faire I would tell everyone about us. That offer still stands, if you want it. I’ll go down there right now and tell that whole room everything I told you.”
“Please don’t.” She shook her head at the thought.
Grand gestures like that were all well and good in books, but in real life, the idea was mortifying.
“That was all very romantic, but I don’t know if it will have the same effect on a room of strangers.
Plus, what are you going to say? That you’re leaving the faire to be my business partner? ”
“That you’re my girlfriend.”
She held in a breath. “Is that what I am?”
“No.” He leaned down until their noses were mere centimeters apart. “Because that word doesn’t even begin to describe what you mean to me. What I want to be to you. Body and soul at the bookstore, in the faire. None of that matters as long as I’m with you.”
“Oh. That sounds like I’m getting special treatment. Better watch out, or you might get an HR complaint.”
“You are getting special treatment.” His voice was a raspy, low growl that made her legs buckle. “Because you are amazing. And everyone down there would agree. You’d have to be special for me to fall in love with you.”
Her heart stopped.
He said it. He said the words, and… dammit, that caught her off guard.
“Hawk.”
“You don’t have to say it back. I’m going to dedicate every minute of my life to being worthy of you.”
He couldn’t be serious. Men didn’t say things like that in real life.
But he’d said he loved her.
And she…
Lilian shook her head. “I wanted to tell you something. In person. Without the music and the dancing.” And the touching to distract her.
“All right.” Hawk looked rapt in the conversation. As if he hadn’t confessed his feelings and she hadn't said the words back.
“Your mom invited Bodice and Brawn back to the faire next year.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“You didn’t ask her to do that, did you?”
“No. I’m helping my mother take more of a role in the business, but I’ve removed myself from influencing any of her decisions about acts and vendors.”
She swallowed. That confirmed what Janelle said before. “Are you leaving because she invited me back?”
He looked stricken. Mouth open, eyes wide. He hadn’t been expecting that. “Lilian, no. That’s not it.”
“Because I’m not coming back.” The words tumbled out before he was finished; her heart was racing now. Out of everything they’d talked about tonight, this was the one thing she wanted to tell him. The one thing she wanted him to know.
Hawk’s mouth closed with an audible click.
She took a deep breath, trying not to focus on the emotions flickering across his face. “Bodice and Brawn found a new home. I’m starting my own bookstore.” A pause as she licked her suddenly dry lips. “And it’s all because of you.
“I was mad when you first told me Tenison wasn’t viable.
That the faire wouldn’t save Ten Cents Books.
But you were right. I realized it pretty quickly after…
” She trailed off, but she knew. After their fight.
After everything came to light. “My dad told me everything. So, I took your advice, and took another chance, and now…” Her arms stretched out as if to say here I am.
Hawk stood as she spoke, but he didn’t move toward her. “Lilian, that’s wonderful.”
He breathed the words like a sigh of relief. And it should have made her feel better. A healing balm on the strange partnership they had. But her heart was still rioting in his presence. She wasn’t done with him yet.
She would never be done with him.
“I’ve been scrambling to figure things out. It’s been hard but so, so amazing, Hawk. And all that time, I wanted you there with me. To bounce ideas off. To hear your input. It made me realize how much you’ve become a part of my life. How much I wanted to do it with you.”
Something flashed in his eyes. The opening he’d been waiting for. “Do you want me?”
It wasn’t clear what he was talking about. Physically? For the bookstore? In her life in general?
Ultimately, it didn’t matter. The answer pulsed through her with every heartbeat. “Yes.”
His lips were on hers in an instant. She’d forgotten how fucking good he was at kissing. Hawk was always so stone-faced in public, so controlled, but when he kissed her, it felt like the only language he knew how to speak.
It almost felt like he was making good on the quiet promises he’d made earlier. Claiming her, body and soul.
His fingers stroked the delicate fabric at her shoulder. Trailing slowly downward until his hand found her breast. Her nipples tightened instantly at the touch.
“Ah,” Hawk breathed against her lips. “You’re not wearing a bra.”
“With this dress?”