5. Will
WILL
Tony left the room, but his cologne, a suffocating combination of patchouli and sandalwood, lingered. The moment he was gone, my stomach revolted. All the beer, tequila, and whiskey churning inside me came back up. My cheeks ballooned, and I lunged for the trash can. I almost made it, too.
“It’s okay,” Miles said, rubbing my back. “You got most of it in there, and I’ve got gum.”
“I can’t see Derek looking like this.” My shirt was splattered with vomit.
“Of course you can. Here, wear my shirt.”
“What are you talking about? We’re not even remotely the same size.”
Miles’s face scrunched, and thick lines appeared on his forehead. He glanced at the caterer, then smiled.
“I’m not going to ask the caterer to give me the shirt off his back. I’ve already ruined his pants.”
“Why not? He’s not much bigger than you. And he doesn’t mind. Do you?” Miles fished his wallet from his pocket. “How about I give you two hundred dollars for your shirt?”
The man took a step back. “I’d love to help, but this is my uniform. I’m at work right now.”
“Nah, it’s fine. We just need to borrow it for, like, ten minutes. I’ve only got a hundred and twenty on me, so I’ll have to pay you the rest later. What’s your name, by the way?”
“Uh, James.”
“Thanks, James. You’re a lifesaver.” Miles thrust the wad of cash at him and clapped him on the back, as if by stating his name he’d signed off on this ridiculous plan.
“Uh, I don’t think this is a—”
“Of course it is. You’ll probably get promoted for going above and beyond. Now, hurry up and strip.”
James looked down at the cash, sighed, and began removing his vest. He draped it over the barre and started on his button-down, moving with the easy confidence of someone who’d never thought twice about taking his shirt off. Once he was down to his white tank top, I could see why.
“Here you go.” He held the shirt out to me with a smirk.
“Thanks. You must think I’m a total loser.”
“Nah, not at all. I actually think you’re kinda brave. Have you really not seen Derek since . . .?”
I shook my head.
“Yikes, dude. That’s intense.”
I looked around for a place to change, but there was nowhere private.
I was no longer the pale, skinny boy who’d appeared nude in The Beautiful, but the relentless body-shaming I’d endured after attacking Derek—“How could a scrawny sack of bones like William Chapman ever think he was good enough for Derek Hall?”—had taken its toll.
“I’m sorry, but would you mind turning around?” I asked, eyes on the floor.
“Relax, man. You’re not exactly my type.” James stood with his hands on his hips and a crooked grin on his face. But when I didn’t start to change, his smile fell, and he turned around.
I ignored Miles’s eye roll and made fast work of switching shirts. The white button-down was a little big on me, but I preferred it that way, and it smelled nice, like laundry detergent and cinnamon.
“Thank you. I know it’s kind of weird.”
“It’s okay, man. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
James turned back and watched with thinly veiled amusement as Miles and I argued over how many buttons to leave undone. We settled on two, which was a significant victory for me, given Miles had started negotiations at five.
“You ready?” Miles asked.
I was nowhere near ready. “Yeah, then we go home.”
Miles brushed the hair off my forehead and nodded. “Then we go home.”
I focused on the rise and fall of Miles’s footsteps as we left the studio and walked down the hall, feeling a strange, feverish disembodiment. I could hear my blood rushing in my temples and taste the nauseated churn in my gut.
I stepped into view, and all conversation died.
I lifted my eyes from the floor and chased the silence down the stairs into the recessed living room, where Derek stood beside a beautiful blonde woman.
She held a glass of red wine in her long, delicate fingers and looked like a model or aspiring actress.
Derek loved models and aspiring actresses.
He looked the same as ten years ago, only now his hair was buzzed short on the sides and left textured on top.
His square jaw and cleft chin were dusted with a five o’clock shadow, and his hand rested possessively on the curve of the blonde’s hip.
He looked like he’d stepped out of a Ralph Lauren catalog in cuffed jeans and a vertical-striped polo.
The girlfriend spotted me first, and her eyes went wide before narrowing to slits. Derek must’ve noticed because he dropped his hand from her hip and turned to face me.
I’d seen Derek’s scar in pictures and movies, a thin white line slicing his left eyebrow in two. But it knocked the wind out of me, seeing it in person.
He didn’t smile when his eyes found mine, not like he used to. But he didn’t frown, either.
I froze at the top of the stairs for what felt like minutes—though it was probably only seconds. Then Derek took a step forward and broke the spell. I took an answering step, and despite every eye on me, I kept walking until, by some miracle of physics, I stood within arm’s reach of him.
I held out my hand—just like Tony had instructed—and said, “Hi.”
“Hi.” Derek had one of those deep bass voices you could feel in your bones. He stared at my hand for a moment, then lifted his own. A simple twine bracelet circled his tan wrist.
To my surprise, his palm was nearly as sweaty as my own, and his grip was soft and tentative. But as we locked eyes, his grip solidified, and I let out the breath I was holding.
“That’s enough,” the girlfriend said, walking through our joined hands like the finish line of a race. “Now, go away.”
My face fell, and I took a step back.
“Excuse me?” Enrique said. “He’s not going anywhere. If you have a problem, you go away.”
The woman turned to Derek. “Are you going to let him talk to me like that?”
Derek just gaped.
“It’s okay, Enrique,” I said. “I should probably go home and finish my report cards anyway.”
“It’s not going to work, you know,” she said. “People aren’t going to forget what you did just because you teach a bunch of disadvantaged kids.”
“Seriously, Derek,” Enrique said. “Get her out of here.”
“Whatever. I don’t want to be at this stupid party anyway.” She flipped her hair and started to leave, but when she noticed Derek wasn’t following her, she pretended to stumble. “Whoops.” Her glass of red wine spilled down the front of my shirt—which wasn’t even mine.
“What the fuck, Sharron?” Derek said.
“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to.”
The wine felt cold against my skin as the now-pink fabric clung to my stomach and chest. I tried to catch the runoff with my hands so it wouldn’t ruin Enrique’s carpet, but there was too much.
“These things happen,” Tony said, setting a hand on Derek’s shoulder. “William, send me the dry-cleaning bill. I’ll take care of everything.”
Nervous laughter simmered through the crowd as Tony ushered Derek and his girlfriend out. When they were gone, every eye turned to me, as if I were supposed to make a speech.
“Let’s go home,” Miles said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“Don’t leave,” Andy said, tears in his eyes. “You can just borrow one of Enrique’s shirts.”
“Yeah, help yourself to anything in my closet,” Enrique said.
I hated to disappoint my brother, but I couldn’t fathom staying another second, so I just stood there.
“Let him go, Andy,” Ryan said, taking pity on me. “My driver’s right out front. I’ll walk him down and come right back.”
Andy nodded and hugged me, not caring that I was drenched in wine. He was five inches taller than me, but he buried his face in my shoulder anyway. “Call me tomorrow, okay? We’ll hang out.”
“Yeah, okay.”
James poked his head out of the studio as we waited for the elevator and froze when he saw the state of his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” I called. “I owe you a whole new outfit now.”
“It’s all good, man. Don’t worry about it,” he called back. “It’s actually kind of a sexy look on you.”
I wouldn’t have thought it possible, given the circumstances, but my cheeks warmed, and I almost laughed.
Inside the elevator, I slumped against Miles and sighed. “Well, that was a huge success. I should really get out more often.”
Miles laughed and pulled me close. “I know you’re joking, but you’re not wrong. You really do need to get out more. Tonight was just a fluke. You’ll see.”