46. James
JAMES
Through the floor, I heard Ashley’s TV switch from the news to Kimmel, which meant Theo would be home soon—time to put the bong away. Even so, I hit play on the video again.
I couldn’t find the uncut security footage on Tony’s phone, but I’d unearthed more clips, including a longer version of the one Tony had sent Donna in Montreal.
That wasn’t the clip I kept watching on repeat, though.
No, I was transfixed by a far more mundane clip, one of Will and Derek getting off the elevator and going into Derek’s room.
They didn’t speak, hold hands, or even laugh, but so much transpired in the thirty seconds it took them to walk the hall.
They exchanged a glance as they got off the elevator, just a quick check-in, no more than a second long, but Will’s eyes seemed to ask, “Is this really happening?” And Derek’s smile seemed to answer, “Yes, I think so.”
Then Derek stepped ahead of Will, and his smile fell away, leaving an expression I couldn’t make sense of, even though I’d watched this clip a hundred times. Was that fear? Sadness? Nervousness?
The look on Will’s face was easy to read. It was the look every dog gives its owner when they reach for the leash, the look every kid gives their parents when they say, “Come on, we’ve got a surprise for you.”
Derek opened the door, and Will stumbled inside. There was a second when it looked like Derek might put his hand on Will’s back and guide him over the threshold, but he didn’t. Then the door closed, and the clip ended.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs outside the apartment door, and I slammed my laptop closed. There wasn’t time to put the bong back in my room, so I stashed it behind the couch.
The door opened, and Theo dropped his keys on the table. “It smells like ass in here. Open a fucking window.”
I reached for my beer. “How was the movie?”
“Boring.”
I got up off the couch and followed him into the kitchen. “How’s Brice? How come he didn’t come up and say hi?”
He paused with his head in the fridge. “Not everyone wants to be besties with their ex, you know.”
I hoisted myself onto the counter and ran a hand down my face. I hadn’t shaved in a week, and my new beard was coarse and itchy.
“Donna called me,” he said, pulling out the makings for a sandwich.
“Really? What did she want?” Someone must have told her by now that I knew about her and Derek. In fact, I was surprised I hadn’t heard from her yet.
“Nothing. She just wanted to know if I’d heard from Will. Apparently, he won’t return any of her calls or texts.”
Shit, does Will know, too? “And have you?”
I realized how pathetic I sounded the moment the words left my mouth. I was like one of those divorcees who pumps their kids for information on their ex, but I didn’t care.
“Why would Will call me? He probably hates me, too, thanks to you.”
I wished I could explain everything to Theo, let him know why I’d let Will go without a fight, why I’d let him believe the worst.
“He doesn’t hate you,” I said. “Will’s not like that.”
“He should. I knew you were a terrible boyfriend, and I set you two up anyway.”
He wasn’t wrong, though his words were like a sucker punch to the gut. I didn’t mean to be so ambivalent about relationships. I always entered them hoping I’d fall in love. It just never happened, not until Will.
But that was over now.
“There’s one more beer in the fridge, if you want it,” I said.
“Why are you doing this? I bet if you just told him the truth, he’d understand. It wasn’t even you. It was Es who wrote the story. Why don’t you just blame her?”
Because I was an adult, and I didn’t blame others for my mistakes. Besides, there was no turning back now. I already had all the evidence I needed to blackmail Tony waiting in my computer bag. All I had to do now was pull the trigger, and Theo and I would be millionaires.
“It was never real, Theo. Besides, you and I don’t belong in that world. We’re just the hired help.”
“Will doesn’t care about any of that. He doesn’t care about money.”
“That’s because he doesn’t have to.”
Theo flinched at my raised voice, then shook his head in disgust. “You can be a real asshole sometimes, you know that?” He grabbed his sandwich and stormed off to his room without putting anything away.
I drained the rest of my beer, hopped off the counter, and grabbed the last can of Pbr from the fridge. When I closed the door, a picture of Travis holding up the head of a twelve-point buck stared back at me.
I muttered, “I know. I never should’ve brought the little shit with me to Vermont in the first place. I should’ve just sent him to Florida with Mom.”
After cleaning up Theo’s mess, I went into the living room and opened my laptop again. This time, I clicked on the second video, the one of Derek and Will arguing.
The hallway was empty, but there was Will’s voice, screaming at Derek.
If only Will had screamed at me that way, maybe I wouldn’t be haunted by the look of resignation on his face.
Derek’s deep voice answered Will’s shrill anger, “I ended it months ago, and it didn’t mean anything. You have to understand. I had her poster on my wall growing up. I used to beat off to her like twice a—”
“Shut up. You’re talking about my fucking mother. How could you do that and then kiss me?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, but it didn’t mean anything. It was just sex, and I ended it. You have to understand the position I’m in. I’m not like you. I don’t come from acting royalty.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Did you need to fuck my mother for work or something? What, are you looking for a role in her next Hallmark movie?”
“You don’t get it because you were born with a built-in fan base.
Why do you think you won? None of this is about the performances.
It’s all about the narrative, and right now the narrative is about how the Academy’s favorite bridesmaid is about to be shown up by his own son.
Tony was right. You’re just like your father.
You just do whatever the fuck you want because you’re untouchable.
You can be gay, and it’s cute. But me, I’ll lose everything. ”
“I need to lie down.”
“Are you kidding me right now? What are you doing?”
A minute of silence passed, and I assumed Derek must’ve gone to take a leak or something because when he spoke again, he sounded surprised, like he’d just walked back into the room.
“What the fuck? Get out of my bed. This was a mistake. This whole thing was a mistake. I never should’ve invited you up here.”
Will might have said something, but it was too soft to make out.
And then, there they were, the elderly couple who’d overheard Will and Derek arguing. They got off the elevator and made their way down the hall. The woman, who was considerably younger than the man, a spry sixty to his brittle eighty, stuck her keycard in the lock.
“Look at you. You’re just a pathetic fuckboy,” Derek said. “You’re so fucking entitled you think you deserve everything, even me.” He mumbled something too soft to hear, then, “But I’ve got news for you, Will. I don’t owe you shit. Now get the fuck out of my bed.”
The woman helped the octogenarian into the room and shut the door. The video clip ended there.