Chapter 34
THEO
Asense of relief washes over me each time my fist collides with the punching bag hanging in front of me. I punch in a basic one-two rhythm. It’s unlike any of the combos I’ve seen Alex perform, but it gets the job done.
“Your form is shit,” Alex says behind me, but I don’t so much as glance at him as my attention stays focused on the bag in front of me.
One, two. One, two. One, two.
“You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep hitting that way.” Alex is in front of me now, holding the bag in place as I continue to punch. My hits grow more aggressive and erratic as visions of my own stupidity flash through my mind.
You almost fucking killed her.
Hitting as hard as I can, I curse, as Alex was right. My shitty form causes a pain to shoot up through my shoulder on my last punch. A disgruntled noise leaves my throat at the feeling.
Stomping away from the punching bag, I take a seat on a nearby bench, ripping my gloves off.
“Told you,” Alex says smugly.
“Shut up.”
“Feel better?”
“Not even a little.” I run my hands through my hair, wiping the sweat from my brow. Alex moves to sit next to me, handing me my water bottle as I take a moment to catch my breath.
I think I speak for all of my brothers when I say we’re thankful that Alex chose this line of work.
When he opened his boxing gym a few years ago, he gave all of us a key and told us we could come here whenever we needed to, no questions asked.
I would guess that Roman uses his key most often, but I have no evidence to back it up.
I’ve never felt I had a reason to use my key until a few weeks ago. I’ve spent every day here for the past two weeks trying to get Sienna out of my head. To my agony, I’ve been unsuccessful.
Alex lives in the apartment above his gym, so he knows how frequently I’ve visited over the past few weeks, but this is the first time he’s joined me. I’m thankful he opens later on Sundays so I could sneak in this morning and have the place to myself. Before Alex came downstairs, that is.
Looking around the empty gym, I take note of the high-end equipment. The ambient lighting is set to the lowest setting, as I didn’t think anything else would be fitting for my current mood. Alex’s gym is another reminder of how I’ve only failed where my brothers have succeeded.
“You want to talk about it?” Alex finally asks after a few moments of silence.
“Not particularly, no.” I hesitate before continuing, “I fucked up. There’s no fixing it, so I’m trying to figure out how to live with it.”
“The ‘it’ being…” He waits for me to finish his sentence.
“Losing Sienna, disappointing Roman, once again failing to help him see that I’d make Dad’s company more successful, although at this point, I’m even starting to doubt that.”
“Hmm…” When that’s all Alex responds with, I look at him to find him staring at me with a concerned look I rarely ever see from him.
“What?”
“Why do you insist on calling it ‘Dad’s company’?” he finally asks.
“Because that’s what it is. Kane Construction is Dad’s company.
Roman always says it’s his, but it isn’t.
He’s always trying to erase Dad.” The question brings me back to my conversation with Roman, anger boiling my blood once again.
“We didn’t just lose Mom. We lost Dad too.
Roman never wants to acknowledge that. If it weren’t for Dad, none of us would even have the money we do for you to open this gym, or Leo to go to culinary school, or me to go to college or buy the Mustang.
Roman takes the credit for everything, and I just don’t understand why. ”
“Theo, that’s because Roman is the reason we have the lives we do. Not because of Dad.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Sure, Dad started Kane Construction, but he was only building a few houses a year. His ‘company’ consisted of a truck with some tools thrown in the back. Any money he made, he spent immediately. It was enough for us, but not enough to build the business properly. Dad didn’t leave us enough money when he and Mom passed. That money ran out in a year.”
“No, we all have inheritances, nest eggs, or whatever you want to call them. You got yours when you were twenty-one, just like me,” I correct my brother.
“No, that’s what Roman wanted us to think.
Listen, I’ve gone along with it because you know how Roman is.
He doesn’t like the attention. But I overheard him and Leo talking about the finances when I was a teenager.
Roman took a small portion of the life insurance money and invested it in funds for us, not Dad.
It was Roman who built the company up to what it is today.
He’s the reason you went to college, the reason I own this gym, the reason Leo is as great of a chef as he is today. ”
I’m too busy trying to process the information to respond, so Alex continues, “He made a lot of sacrifices to get us here, but he did it. Look, I love Dad just as much as you, but he made a stupid decision that led to Mom’s and his death.
Even dumber ones led to us not being properly set up for their early departure in life.
It was hard on all of us, but I think it was toughest on Roman.
That’s why he’s been so hard on you lately.
He was scared you’re turning out like Dad. The incident with Sienna didn’t help.”
My mind is blank as I can’t find the words to say. Why wouldn’t Roman tell me all of this? Why wouldn’t he be honest with me? Why continue to let me think it was Dad who had set us up for success despite his early death? Roman let me say such awful things to him, and he didn’t correct me once.
“I had no idea,” I say as I weed through the many questions plaguing my mind.
“I know. I’m not even sure Roman knows that I know. He’d probably kill me if he knew I was letting you in on his little secret. But I’m telling you because you’ve got to make shit right with him.”
“I’ve been a complete asshole, haven’t I?”
He nudges my shoulder. “You said it, not me.”
A hint of a smile spreads across my lips at that, the first time in weeks that I’ve come close to actually smiling.
“Come on, I’ll make us breakfast while you shower. You’re stinking up my gym, and I have good-paying customers coming in a few hours.”
Following Alex up to his apartment, I say, “I don’t smell that bad.” Taking a whiff of my shirt, I'm proven wrong instantly, and Alex laughs when he catches the grimace on my face.
The thought of a shower brings back memories, and I’m thrown back to the lake house. A blue bikini, my hand weaving through deep brown curls, and the smell of summer strawberries. Despite my many attempts this morning to forget Sienna, I’m still reminded of her at every corner.