Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
Mona
I called in sick this morning. I don’t remember the last time I missed a day of work other than taking my paid time off so I wouldn’t lose it.
Since it’s so close to the end of the year, I’ve already used all my allocated time, which means that I will not get paid for today.
Fortunately, I accumulated enough hours this week where I’d be getting my normal paycheck. Nothing extra.
Hugging a pillow to my chest, I sigh. Misery is no fun, and I am definitely miserable. I hate that all I can think of is Alex. I hate him. In that same respect, I have to admit that what he did was creative.
In fact, the more I think of it, I realize that this last breakup with him has been different from before. We both acted differently. I, for one, blocked him everywhere I could think to do so. Before, I just waited around for him to come back like I knew he would.
Alex respected my boundaries once he realized what they were. He never showed up at my door either until I pretty much gave him the green light, just in not so many words.
Him creating a fake profile on the Holidates app was the loop I had not foreseen.
I can feel the beginning of a smile forming on my lips. Had this been someone else’s story, I would’ve thought it was romantic and beautiful. That’s what Elizabeth called it, at least the romantic part. But since I’m the one at the center of all this, I don’t exactly appreciate the sentiment.
Or, do I?
I throw the pillow away. “I literally hate my life!”
There’s no one here to hear it, but I feel like I need to say the words out loud. The relief I was hoping to get from it doesn’t come.
I jump off the couch and march to the kitchen, in search of some comfort food.
The doors of the cabinets slam as I put too much force into closing each one while I look for something.
I got nothing but the very basics. This is stupid, I decide.
Why am I still living in the city if I can’t really afford the life here?
Grabbing the jar of peanut butter and a spoon, I figure I might as well make myself comfortable with it. On a whim, I also grab the small jar of Nutella I keep for special occasions. I never specified to myself if it would be good or bad special occasions.
I find my way back to the couch where I open the jars and line them up next to me, unsure of which one I should start with.
“Oh, what the hell, time to go wild.”
I pick up the Nutella and scoop a large amount into my spoon, then dip it lightly into the peanut butter jar.
“Mmmm, almost as good as sex,” I moan to myself. “And halfway healthy, too. I’ll get my protein intake.”
I am three spoons deep into the process when my cell phone goes off.
“For crying out loud,” I say around a large bite of the peanut butter Nutella mix.
The number showing on the screen is not one I recognize. I normally don’t answer calls from unknown numbers, but what the hell, my life is spiraling anyway, might as well make a robot’s day.
“Mona, this is Jonathan Bennett.” My eyes about pop out of my head. “From the Holidates app,” he explains when I don’t react. “You gave me your number in the last communication through the app.”
Spoon in my mouth, I squint my eyes as I try to think. I vaguely remember giving him my number. I don’t remember why.
“I thought I’d pick you up next Saturday. That way, we walk in together, and it’s clear to everyone that we are each other’s date.”
Ah, okay, that’s why I gave him my number, to discuss logistics. It’s much easier than through an email.
“Uh, well, that’d be great, Jonathan,” I say. “Thank you for the offer.”
Then, I start to think about it.
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with giving you my home address,” I decide. “How about I take the train to the stop closest to the venue. You can wait for me there, and we’ll still walk in together.”
He doesn’t miss a bit. “Fine by me. And just so we’re clear, I’ll need a date for an event in May. It will be in Boston. As stated before, all expenses will be paid.”
I snort a little as I scoop more Nutella out of the jar. He sounds like he’s a high-powered attorney, even, though, I know he’s not. He works in finance.
“Confirmed,” I respond, keeping my tone just as neutral and business-like.
“Perfect. I will text you on Saturday. Looking forward to meeting you in person.”
With that, we say our goodbyes, and he disconnects the call. I continue eating my weird concoction as I try to get back on track. What was I doing before this guy called? Oh, that’s right. I was analyzing my last breakup with Alex, and…
A knock at the door makes me jump so hard that I drop the spoon to the floor. It makes a clinking noise upon landing, and now I can’t even pretend that I’m not home.
My heart beats out of my chest when I stand up, feeling it in my soul that it’s Alex on the other side of the door. Do I want to let him in? While I don’t think his direct intent is to manipulate me, he can still do it because I just can’t think clearly when he’s around.
I walk over to the kitchen and place the two jars on the table before dropping the spoon into the sink. A second knock echoes from the door, this time a lot more insistent.
With a definite attitude, I take a deep breath in and brace myself for coming face to face with the man I love, but who can’t ever love me back. My fingers wrap around the knob, and I take my time undoing the locks.
I can feel my chest cavity actually moving with how hard my pulse races through my veins. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience as the hand on the knob turns, and I finally yank the door open.
It takes a minute to process what I’m looking at. Or rather, who.
“Kyle.”
The disdain in my voice is obvious. Also, disappointment. It crashes into me with such force that it takes my breath away.
“Hey, Mona!” He literally waves at me. “I was in the neighborhood.” He gives me his always goofy grin. “I thought I’d stop by… Say hey…”
“Hey?” I can’t process what he’s saying. “How do you know where I live?”
I know for a fact that none of his friends ever came to my apartment.
“Cal told me.” He sounds way to cheery when he speaks. “He gave you a ride home a few weeks ago, remember? Besides…” He shrugs self-consciously, the smile never dropping from his face. “We all dropped Alex off at your building a time or two.”
I remember Cal saying the same thing when he brought me home that one time.
Apparently, everyone in their group was in the know about my personal life while I barely got to know them over the years.
In fact, the party Alex took me to last weekend was the only time that I can remember where we all sat down, talked, laughed and had just a great time overall as a group with me included.
“I was hoping to come in,” Kyle teases when I continue gaping at him without saying anything.
Moving a step to the side, I motion for him to come in. Once he’s inside, I close the door, rolling my eyes toward the ceiling before turning around to face him. He looks like a complete clown as he grins at me from ear to ear.
“What?” I jut my chin at him.
He brings his arm up and makes a motion with his finger. “You got chocolate all over your face.”
“What?” I let out a loud gasp, pressing both hands to my cheeks.
“I can see why Alex can’t let you go,” he continues. “You are kinda cute.”
I rush to the small kitchen where I rip a sheet of paper towel off the roll I have close to the sink, then I wet it and scrub at my lips and all around them. I dry myself off before facing Kyle again.
“Sorry for putting you on the spot like that.” It seems that you cannot wipe the smile off this man’s face. It’s quite off putting if you ask me, and I don’t know how his girlfriend puts up with it.
“I’d offer your refreshments.” I cross my arms over my chest and lean back against the sink. “But I got none.”
I almost laugh, too, when he does, but I don’t want to give him that power over me.
“So, get on with it. Why are you here?”
Kyle’s face becomes serious in an instant. “I can tell you’re a ball buster, and I respect that. As you probably guessed, I’m here to talk to you about Alex.”
“What is there to talk about?” I challenge. “Things are quite clear between us.”
“Well…” Kyle runs his hands through his hair, suddenly putting out a nervous vibe. “I’m here to add even more clarity to the situation.”
I raise an eyebrow in question. “Oh?” I can’t imagine what he would have to tell me that I don’t already know.
“Did Alex ever tell you about his parents?”
I have to say that I am surprised by the question, mostly because that was the last thing I’d expected him to ask me.
“Yes.”
Kyle’s eyes bug out of his head. I guess he didn’t expect that.
“He told me that his mother was a gold digger who trapped his father with a baby. I’m assuming that’s why Alex thinks I’m after his money?”
Kyle clears his throat a couple of times. “Is that all he told you?”
I shrug. “It’s pretty straightforward, wouldn’t you say?”
“It’s a bit more complicated than that.” He lets out a long breath of air. “His mother did get pregnant on purpose, knowing that his father was a very wealthy man. After the baby was born…”
“Alex?” I ask just to make sure that I am following the story.
“Yes,” Kyle confirms. “After Alex was born, his mother didn’t want to have anything to do with him…”
My breath hitches in my throat.
“She didn’t want to have anything to do with her husband either, other than with his money. They divorced, she didn’t want any custody time with Alex, and she basically gave up her parental rights.”
I press my fingers to my lips, horrified to hear of such a thing. I didn’t have the easiest of childhoods, but I always knew my parents wanted me and loved me.
“I guess at some point, when Alex was older,” Kyle explains, “he begged his father to find his mother…”
“He missed her.”
My guess is confirmed when Kyle nods.
“Nothing came out of it. The mother had married some other rich dude, repeated the whole process again.”
I frown at hearing that. “What do you mean?”
“She had another son with this guy, then filed for divorce and took off with as much as she could, leaving the kid behind.”
“Alex has a brother?”
I am in shock. How did he never mention this to me? If I had any siblings, they’d be front and center in my life.
“A sister, too,” Kyle adds. “That woman ended up having another baby, a girl, after she abandoned kid number two. After that, she died. Car crash I believe.”
There is so much to unpack here, I don’t even know where to begin. And in all of this, I just can’t understand how Alex never mentioned any of this time. In four years of going back and forth, I really didn’t know him at all.
“I only found all this out recently,” Kyle informs me. It’s like he can read my mind. “He’s never talked about any of this with anyone. At least that I know of. I do know for a fact that the other guys are not aware of any of it.”
I swallow against the lump in the back of my throat. “Why are you telling me all this?”
Kyle’s eyes take on a glassy hue, like he’s getting a bit emotional.
“I’ve known him for a long time. He’s my best friend. He was there for me when I needed a boost to have financial security, and, despite the fact that he almost ruined my relationship with Zara…” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I now understand that it came from a good place.”
I look away, unable to make eye contact anymore. “This has nothing to do with me, Kyle. Just because he’s your best friend, it doesn’t mean that he’s mine as well. He hurt me, and…”
He interrupts me. “He loves you in ways that he never imagined he was capable of.”
I continue staring at the floor.
“He grew up being told that all women were evil, and that everyone at large was after his money. After so many years of mental abuse, it’s taking him a little to come around. He was programmed from a young age to hate you, before he even knew you…”
My eyes fill with tears, emotion taking over. I don’t know how to process any of what Kyle just shared with me. I want to believe that there was a good reason for Alex’s behavior toward me, but at the same time, I feel like it is too late for us.
“Please give him a chance, Mona,” Kyle begs. “You won’t regret it, I swear. You’ll never find anyone in this world to love you more than Alex.”
I nod but still don’t say anything.
“Have you checked your emails?” Kyle asks from out of the blue. “The ones from Holidates.”
“Uh, no, I haven’t had to log in there anymore. It all shifted to in person communication…”
“Oh, that makes sense since you two were seeing each other…”
My forehead wrinkles in confusion, but then I realize that we’re not talking about the same thing.
“I have to go.” Kyle is now staring at his phone. “Zara had a meeting in the city, and I tagged along. I need to go get her. We don’t want to lose the next train out.”
He walks over to the door and opens it. He is almost out into the hallway when he turns around to look at me.
“Please check your messages on Holidates. And find it in your heart to give Alex another chance.”
The door almost closes behind Kyle when his head pops back in. “Just want to confirm that you still plan on attending the Christmas shindig on Saturday.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He grins at me. “And your plus one is the Holidates date, correct?”
“Yes, but, Kyle…”
He puts a hand up as of to stop me. “That’s all I need to know.”
He goes to leave, but his head pops back into the crack of the door.
“And thanks for not being too mean to Zara when she tried to call you. She felt guilty for telling you about the whole Julian thing. She’s no fan of Alex, but she likes you, so she thought if we saved your relationship, with you around, she’d be able to tolerate him better. ” He gives me a grin that’s all teeth.
The door closes behind him, and, this time, I rush to turn the three locks I have on it. I drop my forehead on against the hard surface, wondering what just happened.
Why is love this complicated?