Chapter Twenty-Seven
Clara
Clara’s phone buzzed in her back pocket as she marched along the path in the Briar Woods with Skye. She switched Skye’s lead to her other hand as she reached for the phone.
Fishing it out, she saw her mum’s name on the screen, along with a message.
MUM: Just checking in, you’ve been quiet these past few weeks. Hope you’re ok.
Clara smiled, but a prickle of guilt stabbed her. Had she been so caught up with Sam and his family that she’d neglected her own?
She hit call, holding the phone to her ear as she walked. Her eyes drifted skyward as she waited for the call to connect. Some thick grey clouds were looming above, and she didn’t have a hood or a brolly. This would have to be a quick walk.
‘Hey, Mum.’
‘Hi, darling. How are you?’
Clara let out a slow breath. ‘Mostly good.’
‘Only mostly? Have you had more bad news about the premature menopause?’
‘No, that’s just the same. I suppose if I look at the positives, I don’t have to worry about periods anymore.’ But she couldn’t bring herself to feel happy about that.
‘Oh, darling. It’s dreadfully upsetting for you. And has something else happened? Or is it just busy at school?’
‘It is busy, yes.’ Clara took a deep breath, tapping her fingers on Skye’s lead. ‘But that’s not what’s bothering me. It’s about Sam.’
‘Sam? The friend you went to Somerset with?’
‘Yes.’
‘What about him?’ Her mum sounded completely baffled. ‘Harriet said she’d met him at your house on the Easter holidays and said he seemed very nice.’
‘He is very nice. We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.’
‘Have you?’
‘Yeah. And… well, I think I’ve fallen for him.’
The line went dead for a moment, and Clara moved the phone to look at the screen. ‘What? Oh, my goodness. But that’s wonderful. From what you’ve said, he sounds like a lovely person.’
Clara shook her head. ‘He’s great, but I’m terrified.’
‘Of what?’
‘Because I know he wants… more kids, but I can’t. I don’t want to disappoint him. He’s already had so many things in his life.’
‘Oh, darling.’ Her mum’s voice was so soothing, and Clara wished she was nearby for a hug. ‘Did he tell you he wanted more kids?’
Clara sniffed back tears. ‘He told me, and his mum told me.’
‘And does he know about your problems?’
‘I never told him. It didn’t seem necessary at first. And now I’m scared to. And even if he doesn’t mind, there are other things. He’s in a difficult situation with his ex. She kind of holds him to ransom over their kids.’
‘Dear, dear.’ Her mum let out an audible sigh.
‘It sounds like it boils down to how strongly you want this. If you want to keep him as just a friend, then keep on going as you are. But if you want more, then prepare yourself for ups and downs. There may be obstacles to overcome, but if you believe it’ll be worth it, then be brave. Take that step.’
Clara stopped for a moment as Skye sniffed about some tree roots.
‘But what if we try, and it doesn’t work?
It’ll change everything.’ Just like she’d done with Kerr.
She’d been brave then – asked him out – only for him to reject her.
And even though he’d done it gently and didn’t hold a grudge, things were still awkward between them.
‘Darling, I know it’s scary. But think about it this way – aren’t you already changing things? You’re carrying around these feelings, this worry. Don’t you think Sam deserves to know?’
Clara ran a hand through her hair, feeling a spatter of raindrops. ‘Yes, you’re right.’
‘Let me know what happens.’
‘I will. And thank you. I love you, Mum.’
‘Love you too, darling.’
‘I should go though. It’s starting to rain.’
Clara had reached the stream, and on the bridge below, something caught her eye.
It looked like someone was lying on it. Her chest constricted.
She sped up walking in the direction of the person.
As she got closer, she saw it was a woman in running gear.
She was half sitting now as the rain came down, moving very slowly.
Clara approached her, the wood slippery underfoot. ‘Are you ok?’
The woman looked up through teary eyes. ‘I slipped. I think I’ve broken my ankle. I can’t move it.’
‘It’s ok, my lovely.’ Clara took off her jacket and put it around the woman’s shoulder. ‘I’ll call for help.’ She took her phone out of her bag and hit 999.
‘I need to call my husband,’ the woman said after Clara had called for an ambulance. ‘He’s at home with our baby. This is the first run I’ve done since I had her. And it’s a disaster.’
Clara crouched down beside her, and Skye sniffed around her in a concerned kind of way.
‘How old is your baby?’
‘Seven months. Oh god, I wish I’d stayed home.’
The rain thundered down onto the bridge, and the stream below was swollen, surging furiously beneath them. Clara’s thin top was soaked through, and Skye looked like a drowned rat.
Clara put her arms around the young woman and let her cry. Her own heart broke for her and how traumatic it was to be apart from her loved ones. And she knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was how she would feel if she was separated from Sam for good – and she had to let him know.