Chapter 9 #2
He somehow managed to settle without bumping against me, and I was grateful to him for that. If a man never touched me again, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.
I had my back to him, curling myself into a little ball as much as the space allowed, trying to get warm. My whole body was still shaking.
Grayson sighed behind me. “You’re going to keep me awake all night with those chattering teeth,” he said flatly.
“Then maybe you should sleep outside,” I dared to say.
He scoffed. “I could be a mile away and I’d still hear you. But at least you’re keeping those things away.”
I listened. The night was quieter than the previous one. Was it the rain? I could mostly hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops on the tent.
“How did you get to me so fast?” I wondered. I was supposed to be a whole day ahead of him.
“I ran most of the way. Which wasn’t easy since I was still weak from being drugged. And seeing people I know that are fucking dead,” he added, his tone bitter. “I still have questions about that, by the way.”
The Jimson Weed. It was a strong hallucinogen. It said a lot about Grayson’s willpower and control over his own mind if he was able to fight off its effects. “But how did you know where I was?”
“I tracked you, Princess. It wasn’t very difficult either. You were stomping a clear trail through the forest.”
I hadn’t thought about covering my tracks. It surely wasn’t that obvious anyway. He must be good at tracking.
Gods, it was a doomed journey from the start. I should have just stayed at the cabin. His words still echoed through me. That he would kill me if I tried to escape again. And for a moment at Digger’s camp, I thought he would. But I was still alive, and he had saved me.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked, my voice sounding small and timid. I hated how fragile I sounded.
He didn’t answer for a while, and I wondered if he even heard me.
“I don’t know,” he finally said on an exhale. He sounded weary. Tired.
I dared a look over my shoulder. Grayson was lying on his back, staring at the roof of the tent, his face tight.
The dancing flames from the fire casted a warm glow onto his features.
He rubbed a hand over his face before turning his head to meet my gaze.
A small smile crossed his mouth, not reaching his eyes.
“What would you do if you had a hostage with a knack for getting herself into trouble?”
I watched his sombre face for a minute. I hadn’t noticed how utterly stressed he looked and...
Why did I care? He got himself into it when he kidnapped me. None of this would have happened if he had just left me alone. I blamed him. All that had happened to me was as result of him.
I turned away again. “I would’ve given her a stack of the money I stole, apologised for everything, and sent her on her way,” I grumbled miserably.
He chuckled dryly. “It wasn’t money. It was gold bars.”
Gold. It made sense how they struggled to move the bags. There must have been a fortune in them. What did they do with it?
“I would, you know,” he said softly. “I would give you all of it, if it meant…” He didn’t finish his sentence. Just sighed. “Gemma and Hunter are my responsibility. I cannot let anything happen to them.”
I turned to see him still looking at me, his expression pained.
His eyes searched mine. I was taken aback by the emotion he was showing.
The cold, aloof mask was gone. I nodded silently.
Not sure what to say or what to think. His words seemed to be a promise of my doom, but his eyes held no such notion.
Gemma and Hunter. His friends. Grayson knew I’d seen their faces. There was no point in hiding their names from me anymore.
Great.
They might as well add me to the group chat and invite me to family dinners. I was beyond fucking screwed.
Grayson shut his eyes and pulled a hand through his hair, then started to unzip his sleeping bag all the way through, before starting on mine.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, bewildered.
“I’m saving your fingers and toes,” he answered flatly, while pushing the zipper down further.
“I…I’m fine,” I stammered, my body frozen in place.
He leaned back, pinning me with that annoyed stare. “If you don’t let me warm you, you won’t have to worry about me killing you anymore. You’ll just die of hypothermia tonight.”
I shook my head. No.
He growled in frustration. “Look at you! You can barely move. You’re frozen stiff! Are you going to make me beg to save your life?” He laughed coldly, shaking his head. He looked to the sky. “How the fuck did I end up here?”
“I’m not making you beg for anything,” I declared wilfully. He was crazy.
“Good.” His voice had dropped dangerously low. “Because I don’t beg.”
Grayson ripped the sleeping bag out from under me.
I gasped at his sudden ferocity and scurried to the side of the tent, trying to put as much space as possible between us.
I watched shakily as he zipped the two sleeping bags together.
The thought of him so close to my body made me nauseous.
Maybe he didn’t plan on doing anything, but men seemed to have the tendency of losing all good sense when it came to their dicks.
He had laid the sleeping bag open and climbed in. “Get in.”
I shook my head vehemently, clutching my knees to my chest.
He reached for me and got a hold of my leg, dragging me to him.
“No!” I thrashed wildly, trying to get free from his grip. Images of earlier burning in my mind.
“Stop!” he boomed. “Look at me!” He had hold of both my legs, pinning my knees together to stop me from kicking him in the face.
“I won’t touch you; I promise. I’m just trying to keep you alive.
” His voice and face had softened. He waited for a few seconds before pulling me closer again, first inspecting my sore foot to see if I hadn’t caused more damage, then tucked my feet into the sleeping bag.
“God, Princess. You’ll be the death of me,” he muttered under his breath, while zipping us up.
My whole body was rigid, my eyes felt as wide as saucers. Grayson settled down on his side, an arm underneath his head and tucked me into his chest. His large body engulfed me.
“Relax. I won’t hurt you.” He tucked me closer, willing me to conform to his body, to loosen up.
After an excruciating minute of trying to calm my racing heart and being painfully aware of every muscle twitch of his arm around me, I finally had the courage to look up at him. I searched his eyes for my impending doom, but he just held my stare, waiting.
“Just don’t…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t beg him not to hurt me, my voice trembling too much. “Please, Grayson,” I pleaded instead, hoping he understood. Saying his name out loud felt strange on my lips.
A shudder went through him. I didn’t understand the emotions on his face. He pulled me in even tighter. “You’re safe, Princess.” His voice was rough, the taunting nickname suddenly sounding… different.
And I believed him.
I didn’t know why, but I did. Was it his eyes or the fact that my mind desperately wanted to feel safe again, that it would believe anything. I couldn’t tell.
Nonetheless, my body relaxed, melted into him, as I let loose the burning breath I had held for far too long. Warily, I pressed my cold nose against his chest. His warmth seeped into my skin, his smell surrounding me.
And for the first time in weeks, I felt safe.
Safe. Oh, the irony wasn’t lost on me, but I grabbed hold of that feeling, cherishing it. I refused to think too much about it. I wasn’t inclined to give it up. He had saved me from my worst fears, and that was all I was willing to focus on for the moment. For just a few heartbeats of reprieve.
“Will you do one thing for me?” His voice was soft, his breath hot against my ear.
I shifted my head to see his face, apprehensive of what this thing was that he expected of me.
“Tell me your name,” he whispered softly over the raindrops on the tent. The tenderness in his voice washed over me, settling warmly in my stomach. He had never spoken to me like that. And the gods knew I might be crazy, but right now, I would do just about anything to keep it that way.
I looked at him for a moment, uncertain.
“It’s Ava,” I heard myself say.
Grayson’s smile was beautiful. “Ava,” he repeated after me, brushing a strand of hair from my face.
I quickly looked away from the intensity of his stare. Gods, what was happening? It was a complete one-eighty of how he used to treat me. I tucked my head into his chest, savouring his warmth. It didn’t matter why he was suddenly nice to me, just that he was. I needed it.
What the hell is wrong with me? Clearly, I had some screws knocked loose.
His hand brushed down my hair as he said my name again, barely audible. A shiver rippled through me, and I clenched my eyes shut. I hoped he knew that it was just the cold.
He didn’t say anything after that, just held me tight.
Grayson’s heartbeats were calm and slow and for some unclear reason, it calmed mine too.
I soon fell asleep to the feel of his warm chest rising and falling, rising and falling against my cheek; the steady rhythm becoming my silent lullaby.
I slept better than I had in weeks. I had no nightmares.
I only woke once during the night. Grayson had turned onto his back, and the cold was creeping back into my bones.
I stared at him for a while, thinking of what I should do.
He was fast asleep, his breathing even. His face was even more stunning asleep.
I carefully moved closer to him, desperate for warmth.
I didn’t want to wake him; let him witness I was pining after his warm body.
As my body touched his, he stirred, and I froze.
“Ava,” he mumbled. He turned and reached for me, pulling me into him and wrapping his arms around me.
My stomach made flip-flops in fear, and to my surprise, delight.
The way he held me was so intimate. He wrapped himself around me, like my body was his to hold.
Was he still asleep? His breathing hadn’t changed; it was still deep and even.
Grayson held my head in his arm, his fingers tangled in my hair, pressing me into the cradle of his neck.
His other arm held me tightly against him, while one leg had snaked in between mine.
I waited to see if he would take it any further, but he didn’t.
He was probably asleep, so I relaxed into it.
It felt good. I couldn’t lie to myself; I liked the way his strong body held mine.
Just a few hours ago, I was scared to death of his strength.
It made me feel powerless, hopeless. I was definitely still scared of him, but now…
His strength made me feel safe. It was a hell of a lot better to be protected by a killer, than being his target.
And these hands on me, hadn’t hurt me, but had taken care of me. Grayson had saved me.