Chapter 10
I woke up the next morning, alone. I felt a bit dazed, trying to take in my surroundings.
If it weren’t for the sleeping bags still zipped together, I would have thought it was a dream, a comforting yet frightening dream.
I had the urge to find Grayson, just to be sure that it wasn’t in fact, my frail, frightened mind that had played tricks on me.
Ducking out of the tent, I found Grayson busy packing up the camping gear we had used the previous night. He looked me over briefly and simply asked, “Will you manage the hike back to the cabin?”
I could feel my face fall. It left me a bit cold.
There was no warmth or sweetness in his voice like the previous night.
He didn’t look at me like he did in the tent.
He had barely looked at me at all. Whatever happened last night, it had all but vanished.
And I wasn’t sure I could stomach the way he had treated me before.
Not now. I couldn’t go back to that. But what even was that last night? It felt strange in the light of day.
Nonetheless, I considered what he had asked.
I pressed my sore foot to the ground. It was definitely better than the previous night.
I rolled my ankle around, bending my foot back and forth, testing its limits.
Finally, I placed weight on it and felt the pain shoot up my leg, making me flinch.
It was still in rough shape, but there was really no choice.
We couldn’t stay here forever. And another confrontation with Digger was unthinkable and we were not far enough away from him yet.
Never did I want to see that face again. “I’ll do my best.”
Grayson came up to me then and held out a hairbrush.
The corners of his full lips tucked up. My cheeks heated.
Was it that bad? I snatched the brush from him and limped to the tree stump.
The way I looked hadn’t crossed my mind in weeks.
I hadn’t cared. The only way I had wanted to look was invisible.
I worked my way through the tangles. There were still little pieces of mud stuck to the strands, here and there.
Yuck.
I longed for a nice, hot shower. To wash the last few days away. Or the last few weeks.
By the time I was done getting myself ready and struggling to get my boot on my sore foot, Grayson had packed up the whole camp and left it as if we were never there.
As if the strangeness of the previous night never happened.
He had given me the hiking sticks that were in the hiking bag and watched me with an expression that might have been amusement as I hobbled around, trying to find the best way to walk with them.
Grayson carried both our bags and didn’t speak much as we walked. He was distant… or uninterested, I couldn’t tell. He did help me over fallen trees and slopes, but always stepped back immediately, like I had a virus he was afraid of catching.
Silently, I marvelled at his steady strides over the rough terrain. His body was the definition of strong and fit. I guess you had to be if you were living on the dangerous side of life. There would always be something to run from.
“Why do you rob banks?” It was the first time either of us spoke.
What had possessed me to ask it out loud?
On the other hand, I could do with the distraction.
My foot was killing me. I knew Grayson’s pace was slowed so I could keep up, but it was still too fast. And I had too much pride to let him know that.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked with a tone that insinuated I was nosy.
I bit my tongue at that. It was not the time or place to get snarky. Instead, I pulled up my shoulders. “Just wondering.”
He stopped and lifted my chin so that he could peer down into my soul; or that’s what it felt like. My heart skipped a beat. The night in the tent hadn’t been a hallucination after all.
“Do you expect some kind of sad story so you can humanise me? Excuse my actions?” He smiled down at me, but it wasn’t nice or sweet. “Well, there is no sappy story, Princess. I’m just a monster. One who takes whatever he wants.”
My hand reached to touch the right pocket of my pants. No, it wasn’t there. The photo was still in the pants I had on the previous day. I had forgotten about it. I had forgotten what he had done to that mom and her little girl.
“Why didn’t you kill me?” He had been very adamant that he would if I tried to escape again.
“Oh, don’t think it didn’t cross my mind. I wanted nothing more than to wring your pretty little neck when I woke up.” He let his hand drift down my neck, his thumb trailing down my throat. “I still might.”
I swallowed hard but held my ground. “Why didn’t you kill Digger?”
His eyes went cold. “Killing him with my fists? That would have let him off easy. No. When I kill him, it will be slow and unbearably painful.”
Did he plan on going back? I didn’t like where this conversation was headed, so I kept quiet and diverted my eyes.
Grayson laughed humourlessly. “You shouldn’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answers to, Princess.” He tucked my hair behind my ear before walking on.
Gods, my mind was in utter disarray. His fingers were gentle while he threatened to take my life.
He confessed that he wanted to torture a man to his end and then ended the conversation with an unexpected tender touch.
Mom was always adamant that actions spoke louder than words, but I didn’t think it applied to this man.
I knew what he was capable of, and he had just told me himself; yet, he had saved me.
He had carried me and taken care of me. The way he had held on to me last night…
Jeez, Ava!
He was also holding on to that bloody bunny.
“Are you coming?” He peered over his shoulder at me; seemingly intrigued and entertained by the chaos of emotions going through me.
“Do I have a choice?” I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway, just in the off chance…
“Not really, Princess.”
Bastard.
We continued on in silence. There would be no more questions coming from me. He was right. I shouldn’t ask if I couldn’t handle the answers. And every word he uttered had the tendency of making my skin crawl.
I listed the plants in my head as we walked. My mind kept wandering to dark places I wasn’t ready to face. So, I let nature pacify my thoughts. The treetops danced with the wind, and I admired the late-blooming flowers, rebelling against the late autumn air.
I wasn’t paying attention and had almost stumbled right over her.
In the underbrush, laid a doe on her side.
Her breathing was ragged. She stared up at me.
Her lack of fear meant only one thing; she was already close to death.
I looked her over. She had no obvious wounds, and she was still young.
Something was wrong internally. There wasn’t much I could do.
She was already too far gone. But I placed the walking sticks down and slowly lowered myself to the ground.
“What are you doing?” Grayson shot at me.
I carefully lifted her head onto my lap, making her more comfortable. “She needs a friend. No one should die alone.” I didn’t look at him to see his reaction. I didn’t care. My fingers gingerly stroked over the doe’s neck. She stared up into my eyes the whole time.
When it was time, I whispered my blessing to her.
“You have completed the circle, child of Gaia. May your spirit find solace in the peace and beauty of our Great Mother, until your next life.” I watched as her soul left her eyes.
Tears welled, and I didn’t bother to stop them.
Life was beautiful, but brutal. It could be so unkind.
I picked three blue flowers and placed them around her head.
Grayson watched me intently. His eyes were soft. He had let me sit with the doe for upwards of half an hour.
When I stood, he handed me the walking sticks and wiped a tear from my cheek.
Again, his sudden tenderness struck me. I could almost pretend he was a normal man.
We walked in silence. I wasn’t in the mood for talking.
Especially not to him. Seeing the doe die reminded me of my own impending death.
And just like hers, it could still come too fast, too soon.
After a while of brutal slopes and dense underbrush, Grayson stopped at a clearing, a man-made camping site, and shrugged the bags off his back.
It surprised me. We still had a lot of daylight left.
When I asked, he said, “We’re not making it to the cabin today, anyway.
And your foot must hurt like hell. You’re getting slower. And I’m starving. I need real food.”
For the first time, he sounded like a human being. Hunger gnawed at my insides too. We hadn’t eaten anything yet. And gods, he was right. The pain in my foot had turned excruciating.
I sat down on one of the stumps that was placed in a circle, admiring the nearby stream that gurgled past the campsite. It was astounding to me that there were people who willingly came this deep into the forest.
It was good to be off my foot. The relief was instant.
Grayson kneeled before me and gently took my boot off.
He shook his head at me, like I was a child who had done something wrong.
My foot was even more swollen than the previous night.
It hurt more too. Again, the strangeness of the situation struck me. He seemed to… care.
“I don’t have anything for inflammation. There was only enough for one application.” His brows were knitted.
“I can make a paste from pine needles, if you can get me some.” I wasn’t about to get up again. “It’s anti-inflammatory and helps with pain.” There were a few other plants that would’ve worked better, but he wouldn’t be keen on going foraging.