Chapter 15 #2
I did, I lost it, I broke like she just had for me, and pounded into her.
She cried out less than a minute later, giving me what I wanted, and I held her down while she came for me, thrusting deep, wringing every bit of pleasure from her before I would allow myself to come as well.
Ursula’s pleasure was all I wanted, all I needed.
Her pussy squeezed me so tight, fuck, working me with every spasm and flutter, forcing me to go with her.
My lower stomach clenched, every muscle in my body contracting fiercely as pleasure shot through my chest, my stomach, and along my shaft, pouring into Ursula.
She cried out again, coming a second time, and for a moment, just a split second, I felt as if I had wings again, as if they had burst from my back and lifted us off the ground before finally lowering us back down gently to the soft mattress.
I rocked forward once more, rolling my hips with a groan, and collapsed against her back.
She lay under me, breathing hard, trying to catch her breath like I was.
I slid her hair away from her face and took in the sight of her, weak from pleasure, eyes closed, cheeks pink, lips swollen.
“You’ve never looked more beautiful,” I rasped.
Her lashes fluttered.
Gently sliding from her body, I quickly and carefully undid her restraints, tossing them aside, and eased her legs down, rubbing them, working the blood back through.
She relaxed against me, giving me her weight, trusting me to hold her safe as her warmth settled against me.
Ursula was letting me care for her. Heat radiated through my chest, making me breathless.
My limbs were incredibly light as I held her to me, like I could hold her like this for an eternity and never tire.
If I could, if she would let me, I’d never stop doing this for her, caring for her.
As badly as I wanted my wings back and to be welcomed home, it couldn’t be at the expense of Ursula. I’d known that all along, though hadn’t I? I couldn’t do it. Hurting her again wasn’t something I could stomach, not for any price.
Ursula
Silas massaged my wrists, his touch gentle.
I’d never allowed myself to be restrained like that, not voluntarily.
Not after what had happened to me. I played it down when I told Silas about the torture, but in truth, it had shaped who I trusted, and how vulnerable I allowed myself to be around anyone who wasn’t one of my sisters or Lucifer.
When his arm slid around my waist and he pressed his body against mine, his front to my back, I didn’t get up and walk away, I stayed where I was, allowing myself to relish in the feeling of being wanted.
Gods, it felt real. When I was with Silas like this, it felt so incredibly real.
His actions, the things he said, the look in his silver eyes, all of it seemed so sincere.
The way he touched me, kissed me, fucked me could easily convince me that my pleasure meant more to him than his own.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“That I’ve never willingly let anyone tie me down like you just did, and that not once during it did I feel threatened,” I said, giving him the truth for some reason.
Maybe because it seemed ridiculous to pretend that what we’d just done hadn’t affected me, when there could be no denying that it had.
“You trust me,” he said against my shoulder, his warm lips brushing my skin.
Did I? I shouldn’t. “And do you trust me?”
“I think I do,” he said. “Even if doing so could end in a world of pain.”
He wasn’t talking about the physical kind. “Do I truly have the ability to cause you pain, Silas?”
“Yes,” he said, sounding utterly sincere.
I turned in his arms and slid my hand up the side of his throat and let my fingers dance over his cheek, my thumb over his stubbled jaw. Don’t do it. “Then why didn’t you fight for me?”
“What?” His head jerked back.
“You let me go, Silas, so easily.”
“Easily?” he choked out.
“Yes, you apologized, multiple times, then you just…gave up.”
His gaze searched my face. “You made it clear you didn’t want me. If I thought…for even a second you would have taken me back, I would have…I would have fought harder.”
“You didn’t fight at all,” I said.
He looked so distressed, gods, it was hard not to believe it.
“I didn’t know. I thought I was doing what you wanted, I thought…”
“It’s fine,” I said, lying. I’d pushed him away as hard as I could, but only because I’d wanted him to show me that he thought I was worth fighting for, that there was more to him, that he was more than an empty vessel.
“It’s not,” he said, and I felt him tremble against me. “If I could change the past, if I could go back, I would.”
His reaction, the look on his face, the note of pain in his voice, it was so fucking real.
I knew I shouldn’t do it, but his admission just now gave me foolish hope for something that I knew didn’t exist. Still, I let my power coil around him, searching for a weak spot, then slipped inside his psyche.
It was as if I’d entered a dark echo chamber filled with absolutely nothing.
I’d been inside the mind of more than one psychopath in my life, and they’d had more going on than what was inside Silas.
But he wasn’t alone, all angels were like this.
They were shells, hollowed out, their reason for being was to serve Heaven and nothing more.
The only angel, fallen or otherwise, who wasn’t cold like this was Lucifer.
Angels didn’t need emotions, they had strict rules and guidelines.
Sins that should be avoided at all costs, commandments that should always be followed.
And if you failed, if you strayed from the path you were born to follow—you were cast aside as if you meant nothing.
Only beings cold and devoid of real emotion could banish their own family like that and never look back.
I held Silas’s gaze, probing deeper, searching for more, for anything, but there was nothing to be found.
Did he know he was empty? Maybe he’d pretended, played a role, mimicking others’ emotions, for so long that he believed he was like everyone else—or maybe he was just a master manipulator.
Silas was able to express emotion, but I couldn’t see how it was possible for him to truly feel them.
Either way, I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t, couldn’t, love me the way I deserved.
The way I needed.
I let my hand slide away and smiled up at him. “Thank you for tonight. The final battle is tomorrow and this was…it was a nice way to end things.”
He frowned. “End things?” His hands at my waist tightened.
“It was a temporary truce,” I reminded him and gently pushed his hands away.
His hold tightened on me, but as he continued to hold my gaze, searching my eyes like I had his, he saw it, the end written all over my face, and finally loosened his grip and let me push them away. “It doesn’t have to be temporary,” he said.
“Yeah, it does,” I said and climbed out of bed. “Get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”
Then I walked out, shutting his door behind me.