Chapter 20
Twenty
Ursula
I stared into the crackling fire and tried to keep my mind utterly blank. It wasn’t working. Silas was there, forcing his way into every thought.
Some might say running off and avoiding everyone was a cowardly move.
I didn’t give a shit. Why couldn’t a girl go camping alone in Skull Forest without everyone being so fucking judgmental?
In saying that, so far, Lucifer had left me alone, either he was giving me time or he couldn’t bear to look at me after my failure.
My sisters, on the other hand, had been calling and messaging nonstop, including Uma, who suspiciously wasn’t being a bitch. They pitied me. All of them, and I hated it. Ursula the Relentless didn’t need anyone’s fucking pity.
Groaning, I rubbed my hands over my face.
I needed to go back and own what happened.
Silas had fucked off and left me to deal with this mess alone.
I should hate him. I should loathe him. Instead, I felt hollowed out.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get why he did it.
Losing his wings, his home, had to have been a living nightmare for him.
Of course being welcomed back into Heaven was more important than his deal with Lucifer—than me.
Why would he turn that down? He wouldn’t—not for me.
He hadn’t said it out loud, and neither had I, but the male knew my biggest fears, and not the simplified version he’d given Felditch during the game of truth.
It wasn’t just being alone, and it wasn’t losing my sisters and Lucifer.
While I’d been in my hallucinogenic state, what had nearly killed me—was losing Silas.
I told him I didn’t remember what happened during the poison event.
I’d lied. When he’d fed me the final poison, I’d been taken somewhere else, somewhere where Silas was mine.
It had been so real, had felt so…so fucking wonderful, then he’d been snatched away from me.
What seemed moments for Silas, had been days for me.
In the illusion, he’d loved me. He’d loved me so fucking much. Then he was gone.
I’d called for him, screamed for him, but he’d been snatched away—and in that moment, I’d given up. I’d wanted to die, and I’d felt myself slipping away before I’d finally been engulfed in darkness.
Silas knew, he heard me calling for him, he’d felt me go limp in his arms. He’d promised never to leave. But he had anyway. I didn’t need him to tell me he didn’t care about me, I didn’t need a lie detector to know he’d lied about everything, because he’d shown me—in a way I couldn’t miss.
A whistle came from the distance, echoing through the trees, someone announcing themselves.
I’d known it was only a matter of time before Roxy would come after me. It wasn’t like I could send her away. Pressing my thumb and finger to my lips, I whistled back, telling her it was okay for her to approach.
A minute later, a huge hellhound walked through the trees, Roxy on his back.
She flung her leg over his shoulders and slid to the ground before Lothar could drop to his belly for her to dismount.
She buried her fingers in his fur and said something in his ear.
He chuffed, jerked his big head up in my direction, then strode away, giving us privacy.
Roxy turned to me, and her eyes were filled with tears. “Urs,” she choked out. “I promise I was going to leave you be, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you out here all on your own.”
“I’m okay, Rox.”
I stood when she ran at me, then wrapped her arms around my body. “I don’t know what to do, how to make this okay for you. I want to cut Silas to shreds, but there’s no way for me to get to him. I just...I couldn’t leave you here alone, not for another day.”
I hugged her back, and when she finished squeezing the life out of me, I grabbed a beer and handed it to her. “How pissed off is Lucifer?” I asked as we sat.
“He’s not. He’s just worried about you.”
I tightened my fingers around my bottle. “I fucked up, Rox. I failed him. Heaven got the prize, a prize we desperately needed.” I sipped my drink. “Glad to hear you and Lucifer are talking though.”
She shook her head, her wide blue eyes still glistening with unshed tears. “We’re not. For now, at least, Lucifer can’t be part of my life. I need time.”
That was huge. “Rox—”
“I’m fine.”
She wasn’t, but I didn’t push.
“It was actually Uma who spoke to Lucifer. She told me where his head was at with all of this. She’s worried about you too.”
“Sure she is.”
“She was scared for you, Urs, genuinely. She could barely be held back while you were fighting in that arena. And I don’t know what to tell you, other than Lucifer’s calm about the loss. He’s furious with the angels, though, in a way I haven’t seen him in forever.”
“So what happens now?” I said and sipped my beer. I’d have to go back and face everyone sooner or later.
“The knights really want to talk to you. They’re more than a little uneasy over what happened.”
I frowned. “Silas betrayed all of us, they saw it with their own eyes. He surrendered when we would have won. He obviously didn’t even have the guts to tell the knights what he had planned.”
“I don’t know, Urs, but they want to talk to you. They’ve been insistent.”
Which meant my time hiding under a rock was over. “I’ll head back in the morning.” I nudged her, sick of talking about myself. “So, you and Loth, huh?” Whatever they’d been through after I left them, looked like it’d brought them back together.
“Yeah,” she said, her entire face softening. “He’s…I have him back, Urs.”
“About fucking time,” I said, my heart filling with happiness for both of them. “Give me the Cliffs Notes.”
“Seraphina,” Rox said.
I jolted at the name. “What?” Seraphina was a twisted angel who had gotten herself locked up by the angels a very fucking long time ago.
“She went rogue and ‘escaped’ apparently,” Rox said, using her fingers to do air quotes. “Somehow, she ‘avoided’ recapture.” More air quotes. “And Loth and I ended up her prisoners for a while. She wanted info on Lucifer, badly.”
Lucifer had a feeling the angels were up to something, and this proved it. “Where is she now?”
“Dead. Our working theory is that Heaven wants to trigger the forgotten prophecy and force us onto fate’s alternate path.”
A path that we’d avoided, thanks to a little thing called free will.
We were currently on the correct one, the path we had all unknowingly chosen.
To enact the forgotten prophecy, they’d need to change the course we were on.
In other words, change fate. For something as big as that, only something huge would work, something like taking out Lucifer, for example, or at least removing him from Hell long enough for shit to hit the fan. “Fuck.”
“Yep.” Rox looked as concerned as I felt. She visibly shook it off, and a soft smile curved up her lips. “But enough about that. I’m just glad to see you.” Her smile widened. “I brought you a surprise.”
“Oh?” With Rox that could literally be anything.
She turned her head. “You can come out now!”
Lothar and Gus strode out of the trees. They only wore jeans since they’d obviously traveled here in their beast forms.
“We brought Gus with us to give you a ride,” she said, beaming. “You know, so the whole gang’s back together.” Gus had been travelling with us before I’d left for the tournament with Silas.
Gus ran over like the pup he was and plonked down beside me. I hooked my arm around his neck. “Hey, pup.”
“I missed you, Urs,” he said as he scented me, then frowned. “You don’t smell right. Are you hurt? Do you need me to lick your wounds?”
Lothar groaned. “Keep your tongue to yourself, pup.”
Gus frowned. “I wasn’t going to try and mount her.” He looked at me. “Unless you want me to?”
The pup was young still, in human years he was more like a horny and very naive twentysomething, with literally no ability to read social cues and with zero filter.
“I’m not hurt.” Not physically, anyway. My wounds had healed fast once I’d returned to Hell. I ruffled his hair. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass on having my leg humped.”
“I wouldn’t hump your leg, I’d put you on all fours and...”
“Gus,” Lothar snapped. “Stop talking about mounting Ursula. Talk about something else.”
He shrugged. “Sure. Hey, Lothar?”
“What, Gus?”
“Before you mated Roxy, how many females did you mount?”
Rox giggled, and I snorted, almost spraying out my sip of beer.
“Fucking hell,” Lothar said.
“Thanks, Gus,” I said.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled wide, then frowned. “Hang on, I didn’t do anything, did I?”
“You made me smile.”
He smiled wider. “I like it when you smile, it makes me think of...”
“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t,” Lothar said.
He looked affronted. “I wasn’t going to talk about mounting,” he said.
“Good,” Lothar said.
“I was going to ask what getting a blow job was like.”
Lothar groaned, and Roxy fell back, laughing her ass off.
“What did I say?” Gus said.
And as shitty as I felt, I couldn’t hold back my chuckle. This was what I needed. To be with family. I needed to stop thinking about Silas, stop overanalyzing every moment we’d spent together and put him in the past.
This was all I needed. All I’d ever need.
Silas
“Do you know Lucifer’s weakness?”
Uriel had asked me the same question over and over again. “No.”
He snarled and backhanded me. “All you have to do is answer my questions,” he screamed in my face. “And you can have all your powers back.”
Blood spilled from my beaten body. Every bone had been broken more than once.
And every time my body tried to heal itself, Uriel or the angels working with him broke me all over again.
But I hadn’t talked. I hadn’t told that motherfucker one thing, not about Lucifer and not about Urs or the handmaids. I spat blood on the floor.
“If you don’t talk, I’ll have no choice but to take those wings back, Silas.”
I kept my mouth firmly closed.