Chapter 20 #2
“You would give up your wings for Lucifer?” he said in disbelief.
Not for Lucifer, but I had no intention of correcting him.
He picked up the knife he’d already used on me when he’d come in here earlier and slashed his blade through my bicep.
I ground my teeth together, refusing to cry out.
The blade was forged in Hell, and like Ursula’s, had the ability to kill me, which meant every slice he made would scar, something that was considered shameful.
Angels believed themselves perfect in every way.
The marks Uriel had put all over my body would make me an outcast even if I wanted to return.
I would be seen as weak, others would see the scars and assume I’d lost a battle to a demon.
Uriel was trying to humiliate me. What he didn’t realize was that I didn’t give a fuck what any of my former brethren thought of me, not anymore.
He wasn’t my family. My family was back at the knights’ compound.
All this time, I hadn’t truly allowed myself to be one of them, not really, because deep inside I wanted to be restored to what I once was.
Something I’d considered better in all ways than what had remained of me after my fall.
One of God’s righteous warriors. Some perfect being in the eyes of our lord. It was all bullshit.
God didn’t want that. He didn’t give a fuck about perfection.
“Speak!” Uriel roared in my face.
“Why are you doing this? Where are your brothers and sisters, Uriel?” I choked out.
“That is none of your concern. That information is well above your station,” he said.
I hadn’t seen another archangel since Uriel brought me here. Something was seriously wrong. “God wouldn’t want this. You have to know that.”
“If God doesn’t want this, then why hasn’t he stopped me?”
I didn’t have an answer. God left us to our own devices.
That’s how it had always been. Sometimes, more recently, I’d begun to wonder if he’d forgotten about us.
“You’re not infallible, Uriel. You are not perfect.
W-we tell ourselves we are, but we never have been.
” I was weakening, the torture had taken a toll.
“N-not me, not you, not even Michael. We are as flawed as any other beings created by Heaven or Hell.”
“You may be imperfect, Silas, but I am not. I see all. I know what’s coming.” His gaze darkened, became distant.
“What’s coming?”
“A fate worse than death.” His gaze sliced back to me. “Nothing is coming,” he gasped out. “Never-ending nothingness. Forced to live this hollow existence, with no end in sight. I can’t do it, I won’t live like this any longer.”
He was bored. Uriel was doing all of this because he was bored of his eternal live. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to set the forgotten prophecy in motion, of course.”
Oh fuck. To do that, he had to do something huge, which was why he wanted dirt on Lucifer. “I won’t help you tear the world down.”
“Then there will be no redemption for you. If you do not tell me how to best Lucifer, you will be cast out again, a black mark forever staining your soul. You will never return here, and there will be no sanctuary, no safe place for you when I succeed in my endeavor.”
“You think your soul is clean? If you’ve done what I believe you have to your brothers and sisters, then you are as blackened as I am,” I choked out past my raw throat.
His eyes flashed with rage. “I could kill you right now.”
“Then fucking do it,” I growled.
He drew in a breath, visibly pulling his anger back in line, and shoved his bloody fingers through his pale hair.
“You’re obviously not thinking clearly. I will leave you to contemplate your fate some more, and when I return, I expect an answer.
” He strode for the door, then stopped and turned before he waved his hand with a flourish, hitting me with a burst of power.
My wings extended and curled around me on their own, reminding me of what I would lose again, and it was the worst kind of torture he could use. The sensation of flying, of soaring through the sky, filled my chest, cracking my heart.
“I’ll leave you with your wings for a while longer, Silas. Maybe you’ll see sense and change your mind.”
Then he strode out.
As soon as he left, Rosalind rushed in. She came to visit me most days, and her level of delusion was astounding. She still thought we had some kind of future, but she saw nothing wrong with what Uriel was doing.
Today, though, she gasped.
Was she finally showing an ounce of compassion. If I could get her to see what Uriel was, maybe I could get her to help me escape.
“Your wings have blood on them!” She bit her lower lip.
“I have admired them for as long as I’ve known you.
The gold is so striking. You need to be more careful.
I always hoped our offspring would have wings the same.
All gold is so rare among us.” Her gaze slid down and she recoiled.
“You’re covered in scars, Silas.” Her expression was now one of barely concealed revulsion.
“What will everyone say? You can’t let this continue, if only for my sake, and the sake of our future offspring. ”
“Rosalind—”
“Do you want them to be shamed by your appearance? You can never show these scars, Silas. Never.”
She’d always been a shallow creature. I used to see her as softhearted, but now I saw the truth.
Rosaline was beautiful, but utterly without substance.
It wasn’t her fault. She was exactly as she was expected to be.
Still, I’d hoped there was more to her, more to us than the cold creatures my kind had become over the centuries.
No wonder Ursula believed I was the same.
“Is that truly the only thing causing you distress?”
She blinked down at me. “What do you mean?”
“I am chained. I’ve been tortured. My blood is all over this floor and now on your shoes and the hem of your gown. Are my ugly scars truly what concerns you most?”
She straightened, confusion on her face. “Why are you talking this way? You’re acting as if I don’t care about your well-being.”
“Do you?” I asked. There was no future for her and I. I didn’t love her, and she sure as fuck didn’t love me, but I had to try to make her see what she’d become, what so many of us had become.
“Of course I do.”
“Yet you haven’t attempted to heal my wounds or asked how you can help me.
Instead, your main concern is how my appearance will shame you by association.
We’re angels, Rosalind. We were once filled with love and compassion, we fought for what was right and good, now we’ve grown…
cold and hollow. We’re selfish and ugly. ”
She flinched and took a step back. “Uriel is right, Lucifer and his demon have corrupted you. You never would have spoken about your brethren like that before you fell.” She gripped the door handle and shook her head.
“Your words are what’s ugly. I don’t think…
I don’t think I should come back here and see you anymore. ”
“Agreed. I think that would be for the best.”
Her fingers curled into a fist and color darkened her cheeks. “I’ll give you some time to consider your actions. More time with Uriel to correct your corrupted soul is all you ne—”
“Don’t come back.”
“What?”
“You and I will never happen.”
She sucked in a shocked breath. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
The female didn’t seem to have an ounce of compassion or even understand it.
How had I never seen it before? How had I been blind for so fucking long.
I saw it now, though, and I didn’t care about her feelings or anything else when it came to this place.
Not anymore. “I assure you, Rosalind, I’m thinking with extreme clarity.
I’d rather reside in Hell than be tied to you for the rest of eternity.
Now, please, would you kindly fuck off.”
Her eyes flared, then she strode toward me and leaned in. “I hope Uriel tears those wings from your back again and throws you out like the trash you are.” Then she strode out, slamming the door behind her.
I hoped so as well. More than anything.