17. Chloe #2
I smile to myself at her confession, even if I’ve always known the truth. “Tyler was right, your heart did melt,” I say and she bats me softly with a pillow.
“Ugh, I forgot to grab water.”
“I’ll go get it. I have to use the bathroom anyway.”
“Thanks, Chlo,” Annika says as she snuggles into the comforter. I get up and leap over her mattress, tiptoeing downstairs to the kitchen. I nearly scream when I see a dark figure sat at the counter chair, holding something in their hands.
“Tyler?” I whisper yell. The figure turns around, and as my eyes adjust, the moonlight reflects off his glasses and I see that his wavy hair is a bit disheveled. He’s wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Thankfully, it’s dark and he can’t see my eyes wandering. “What are you doing down here?”
“I couldn’t sleep. Reid snores. I’m contemplating sleeping on the couch down here.”
“Reid snores!”
“I guess he’s always stayed at the cottage if he stayed over my house. I never had the honor of hearing his sounds of sleep.”
Chuckling, I walk over to the fridge and get a glass of water for Annika but linger, resting against the counter across from where Tyler stands. In the dim lighting and safe space of my old home, I feel brave to stay for a moment, seeing if the way I felt about Tyler is fleeting or real.
“How’s the trip so far for you? Enjoying it?” I ask.
He sips his drink and looks up at me, nodding. “I’ve never been to Southern California. It’s pretty cool, but I’m looking forward to San Diego and seeing the beach. I’m curious how different it is from back home.”
“It’s very different. For one, you can actually go into the ocean without turning into an ice cube.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“Living here. Ojai, San Diego? Your family is here.”
I swallow, taking a moment to think. I’m not sure I do miss living here.
Even when I did, I felt like an outsider.
When we started college, I thought San Diego was where I needed to be, but after a while, it didn’t feel right either.
I wonder if that is starting to happen in Auburn Hills.
It’s my home right now, but for some reason, it feels so temporary. As if I don’t believe I’ll stay.
“I don’t think I do. I enjoy the sun and seeing Annika’s family. But there’s nothing else that really makes me want to come back here.”
“What about your mom?” he asks. I know he means well.
He knows my relationship with my parents is strained, but it’s an honest question, especially since this is where my mom lived.
My dad…he’s sent me birthday cards every so often.
I know he gave my mom child support before I turned eighteen.
Other than that, it’s been radio silence from both my parents.
My mom doesn’t even try to get in touch.
Part of me wants to know why. Why did she stop trying?
Was I not enough for either of them? As if pretending like I don’t exist is an easier way to live their lives.
“Mia told me my mom moved,” I respond, walking to the counter so only a couple of feet of marble separate Tyler from me.
“What? When?”
“A little while after we moved. Mia said she moved somewhere in LA. My mom didn’t even reach out to her.
Mia ran into her at a store and Mia being Mia, she got the scoop.
She mentioned to my mom that I moved to Auburn Hills and my mom gave Mia her new address in LA.
But, I told Mia I don’t want to know. Does that make me a bad daughter? ”
Tyler huffs a breath, “Geez, that’s heavy. I’m sorry Chloe. She never tried to reach out to you, right?”
I shake my head no.
“I can’t tell you how to feel, but to me, it doesn’t seem like she deserves the guilt you feel,” he says, his eyes fixed on mine.
“You are one of the most exceptional people I know. Even before I knew you, I could tell you were special. You are a light. I feel alive when I’m with you.
” He pauses for a moment. I wait not quite knowing what to say before he continues.
“I don’t think you understand how upset it makes me to hear there are—were—people in your life who didn’t realize what a gift it is to have you in their lives. ”
My mouth parts at his confession. “I’m not sure anyone’s told me that combination of words before,” I say as I stare ahead at him, the moonlight giving just glimpses of his face.
I want to reach over and intertwine our fingers together but I don’t.
We stay rooted in our spots staring across from each other in the kitchen.
“I think about it all the time,” he states, simply pushing off the counter and going towards me.
I will my knees not to buckle as he braces his arms on either side of me.
He leans down and kisses the top of my head.
I’m coated in peace and warmth from the point his lips touch down to my toes.
I look up to him. Shadows under his eyes are dark and his eyelids nearly shutting.
“Go to sleep, Ty. We are heading to SD tomorrow, and you’ll need the energy,” I say, choosing to not address the last words he said.
Every pore of my body feels fragile. I think being back in Ojai is too much.
I’m ready to move along in our trip. He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and pushes off the counter.
“Sweet dreams, sunshine,” he whispers.
I return to my bedroom, gently placing the water cup near Annika’s bed, and climb onto my mattress, trying not to wake her.
“Chloe,” I hear her whisper. I lean down to see her eyes open. “Promise me you’ll do what makes you happy, whatever that is, wherever it is. I’ll always be your best friend. No matter where we are in life.”
I nod, tears pricking the backs of my eyes. I lower my hand, finding hers and squeezing it once before I turn toward the wall and fall asleep, thoughts of my past—and of memories in kitchens with Tyler—floating through my mind.