Chapter 21
MILES
“Are you cheating on me?”
I looked up to see Ryder peering over the desk, eyebrow raised at the book in my hands.
I licked my lips, glancing between him and the book. “I’m, uh. Trying to get a broader idea of what happens in romance novels. You know. So I can be more helpful.”
“Uh huh,” Ryder said, resting his hip against the desk. “That’s one of Booker’s.”
Heat rushed up the back of my neck, pooling at the tips of my eats. How the hell did he know that?
“How the hell did you know that?” I asked aloud.
Ryder chuckled. “You know your ears are crimson right now?” he asked. “I know because Booker loaned it to me when I told him I wanted to write a romance novel. So I could get a feel for how they’re meant to come together. That one’s his favorite.”
I shifted awkwardly in my chair. “I know.”
“But you’re not reading it because you want to write a romance novel,” Ryder said. “You’re reading it because you want to know what Booker’s ideal romance would look like. Because it is Booker, isn’t it? I felt so dense after you left the other morning for not realizing.”
I stared down at my borrowed book, but I couldn’t help smiling and giving myself away. I wasn’t sure if I was meant to tell anyone, or how Booker would feel about that, but I couldn’t lie to Ryder. We were friends.
“Is that where he was last night?” Ryder whispered—it was more of a stage whisper, which probably wasn’t intentional—leaning over the desk like we were conspiring together. “With you?”
My ears burned even harder but I nodded anyway, looking up to meet Ryder’s eyes.
Ryder’s whole face lit up, splitting into a broad grin. He looked so sincerely happy for me.
“High five,” he said, holding his hand out across the desk.
“I think they call it a low five when you do it like this,” I said, but I still slapped his hand and felt a little jolt of affection.
Ryder was my friend. Booker was my…
Well, he was definitely my friend.
Was he maybe my boyfriend, too? I’d never had one of those.
I liked the sound of it, though.
“So you and he…?” Ryder gestured vaguely.
It was true that I wasn’t the greatest picker-up of hints, but even I knew what he was asking. I nodded again, excited at the thought of everything I’d discovered.
“I didn’t know it could be like that,” I confessed softly. “I feel so different this morning. I feel like I’m seeing the world in full color for the first time.”
“You’re gonna make me cry, hold on,” Ryder said, striding around the desk. “Can I hug you? I wanna hug you.”
“I love hugs.” I laughed as he dragged me out of my chair and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing tight. I squeezed back, sighing happily. Evie had called me hug-powered once. While the people of Otter Bay had been, on the whole, ridiculously kind to me, I hadn’t gotten many hugs.
This one meant a lot.
“So happy for you,” Ryder murmured, squeezing even tighter before he backed off, keeping both hands on my shoulders. “So that’s… research, then?” he nodded to the book I’d put down to hug him.
“I… am reading the smutty parts in the hopes of not putting the entire burden of teaching me on Booker,” I admitted.
“You’re adorable,” Ryder said. “I bet Booker doesn’t mind, though. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
I blinked at him. “You have?”
Ryder chuckled, patting me on the shoulder. “Miles, everyone in town has. He might as well have I have a crush on the new librarian written across his forehead,” he said. “But I’m realizing now that like… Obviously, you hadn’t noticed.”
“I’d… I mean… I hadn’t completely not noticed that he maybe liked me…” I said, but Ryder was right. I didn’t know what I was looking for, so I hadn’t seen it.
I hadn’t really believed that anyone could want me. I loved being so sure Booker did.
“You’re so cute,” Ryder said. “I love you, you know that?”
The grin I broke into at that must’ve looked ridiculous, but it earned me another hug and I wasn’t about to say no to that. The more hugs, the better.
“Are we celebrating something?”
Booker.
My heart did a little backflip at the sound of his voice, low and gentle as always.
Ryder backed off with a laugh, squeezing my shoulders before finally letting go of me.
“I’ll leave you two to it,” he said, clapping Booker on the arm. “I know you’ll take care of him, but if you don’t, you’ll have me to deal with. Okay?”
Booker smiled wryly. “Yes, sir.”
Ryder stuck his tongue out at him as he walked away, throwing me a wave over his shoulder.
I turned to face Booker with a tiny twinge of uncertainty. “He guessed,” I said. “I didn’t tell him but I didn’t want to—“
“Shh,” Booker soothed, reaching out to curl his hand around my arm. “It’s okay. You can tell people if you want to. Or not tell people, if you don’t want to?”
I hadn’t thought yet about whether or not I wanted to. On the one hand, I wanted to climb onto the roof with a megaphone and announce that someone liked me. Someone good and kind and sweet, someone better than I thought I deserved.
On the other hand, things were happening so fast. I didn’t regret any of it, but I needed time to process. Ryder wasn’t a gossip—he might tell Ward, I hadn’t told him not to—but Ward wouldn’t tell anyone. It was still more or less a secret.
“Can I think about it?” I asked.
“For as long as you want,” Booker said. He wouldn’t have told a soul, if I asked him not to. It could’ve been our secret forever.
But I didn’t think I wanted that.
“I have something to show you, actually,” I said. “In the back.”
“Oh?” Booker’s brows shot up. “Well, uh. Lead the way?”
I turned to hide the smile on my face and led him through to the office I barely used, closing the door behind us and then trapping him against it, surging forward for a kiss I’d wanted since the minute I left him this morning.
Booker chuckled into the kiss, resting a hand on the small of my back and letting me take what I wanted.
“That’s very interesting,” he said. “Thank you for showing me.”
“Sorry, there are kids out there,” I said, nodding to the door.
Booker tilted his head. “And you don’t think kids should see…?”
“Oh, no! I just think they’ll make fun of me,” I said. “I’m not as good with them as you are.”
“They can smell fear,” Booker said.
“I believe that. I’m terrified.”
Booker chuckled. “You’re not having your own, then?”
I bit my lip. Were we talking about kids already?
Of course we were. Not our hypothetical kids, but of course Booker was talking about kids. He loved them. He loved taking care of people. Of course he’d want some of his own.
“I always wanted to,” I admitted. “I always fantasized about being a dad. I thought… I mean… I stayed with, umm, Robin, because I thought one day we’d have kids and then everything would be fine because that’d be enough.
I always knew she didn’t really like me but I figured no one else would, either. If she didn’t, I mean.”
Booker sighed, then pressed a kiss to my forehead, my nose, and then my mouth. Just a soft, gentle touch of our lips together.
“I like you,” he said.
“I know,” I said. “Between you and me, you’re not doing a great job of hiding it.”
“I don’t mean to,” Booker said, tilting my chin up to kiss me again with the barest hint of tongue, just enough to make me want more.
“Now that I know you’re okay with it, I don’t want you to doubt that I like you,” he paused to kiss me again, lingering for a heartbeat.
“And I want you,” he added, punctuating it with another kiss.
“And I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day. ”
If I was supposed to stop myself from kissing him for that, I didn’t know how. All I knew was that when our lips touched, I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
“You been practicing while I wasn’t looking?” Booker teased, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“Researching,” I said.
“Well, it’s paying off.” Booker ran his fingers through my hair, tucking what I thought was probably an imaginary strand behind my ear. “You’re learning what you like.”
“I like to be kissed,” I said, surprised at my own confidence. Twenty-four hours ago, I didn’t know that.
Now I was so absolutely positive of it that I could’ve gotten it tattooed on my butt. At the risk that I might’ve given a slightly wrong impression about where I liked to be kissed. Although, I hadn’t tried that yet. Maybe it wouldn’t be a wrong impression.
Booker smiled at me and pulled me in for another kiss, indulging me this time, squeezing my hip and letting me lick my way into his mouth. Letting me experiment with what I wanted.
“Wanna know a secret?” Booker asked when I backed off.
I nodded.
“I like kissing you,” he said. The way he smiled at me made me feel like the clouds had parted and the sun had come out and it was going to be a beautiful day.
“That what you came here for?” I asked, beaming up at him.
“It’s an unexpected bonus,” Booker said. “I actually came here because I swung by the cabin to get you clean underwear. And to tell you some news about the library.”
My heart did something complicated in my chest.
I trusted Booker. I knew he’d find a way to make it all right.
But every time I thought about the council meeting and how the future of this place was on the line, my stomach knotted up.
“It’s good news,” Booker clarified. He must’ve seen the look on my face. “It’s not a miracle, but it is another chance. Used my lawyer voice to get you a second chance and some solid guidelines about what the library has to do. I won’t pretend it’s not a lot. But I’m working on it.”
“You have a job,” I said, guilt making the knot in my stomach twist tighter. “And I already took you away from it last night.”
“It’s fine, Dante loves running the bar.” Booker smiled. “I’d hire him permanently if he wanted the job. And this is important. The library is important.”
“To the community?” I asked.
“It’s important to you,” Booker said. “And you’re important to me.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I kissed him again.
Booker laughed into my mouth, letting me have my way for another handful of heartbeats before gently easing me away.