Chapter 21
I go home and cry into my pillow until I've sobbed my heart out. Eventually, I fall asleep.
Morning…
A knock sounds at the door. I drag myself out of bed and down the hallway, a massive stress headache pounding in my skull.
When I open the door, Bianca rushes inside and hugs me. “Wow, you look like shit. What happened last night? I saw Graham run after you.”
I roll my eyes. “I started having a panic attack onstage. The song triggered some flashbacks.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “And Graham?”
I draw a deep breath, knowing this isn't going to go well. “He hugged me. I pushed him away and told him I hated him.”
“YOU DID WHAT? What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yells.
“Look, Bianca, I was already dreading being there. I was still mad at Graham, and then his ex walked up and started flirting with him. I was just so fucking angry.”
She shakes her head, clearly pissed now.
“You know, Nora, the only person you can blame for your unhappiness right now is you.
He wrote you a million letters while he was away, and you sent them back.
He wants you. He's begging you to talk to him.
And before you argue, I know he fucked up.
He fucked up big. But so did you. You lied, and you were fucking married, Nora.
You're not innocent in all this either. I love you, but I'm not going to baby you.
It's been two months since the incident.
I think it's time you at least talked. Even if you decide you can't forgive him, your heart needs closure.”
Bianca heads for my apartment door. “Nora, I hope you stop running before it's too late. Good things aren't going to wait around forever.”
She leaves, closing the door behind her.
I stand in the living room with tears streaming down my face. How has my life become this big fucking mess?
I need some fresh air to clear my head. I go into my bedroom and pull on my jogging clothes.
As I jog down Main Street, I take in its historic beauty. Then I glance into a café and see Graham sitting at a table with Vanessa. Her hands rest over his, and they look deep in conversation. I didn't think my heart could break any more than it already had. I was wrong.
I wipe away a tear and start jogging home.
I spend the rest of the weekend in my pajamas, eating ice cream and watching movies. Bianca's words keep circling through my head. If I would just give Graham a chance. Good things don't wait forever.
But I can't get past how reactive Graham was. Would he hurt me if he ever got really angry?
Sunday…
I'm on the couch in my sweats, eating a sandwich, when someone knocks. I get up to answer the door, and Owen steps inside.
I roll my eyes. “If you're here to lecture me about yelling at Graham, save it. I've already heard it.”
Owen closes the door behind him. “Wow, ice queen, you look like shit. Here I was expecting the bubbly, beautiful Nora.”
I huff. “Fuck off, Owen. The world isn't all rainbows and sunshine. If you've come to insult me, you can fucking leave.”
He heads into the kitchen, helps himself to a sandwich, and sits at the table. I stare at him, puzzled.
“Look, you're ignoring everyone's calls. Bianca had to help her mom today, and she's worried about you. I told her I'd check on you. I know you two aren't exactly speaking because she yelled at you. I told her she should have smacked you.”
I clench my teeth. Owen knows how to get under everyone's skin, and I know he does it on purpose. He's always doing it to Graham.
I shake my head. “Well, you've seen me. I'm not dead. You've graced me with your presence, so you can leave now. Thanks for stopping by.” Every word drips with sarcasm.
He stands. “Okay, princess. Go put your bathing suit on. We're going surfing.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Don't call me princess. And I'm not going.”
He walks toward me. “Why? Because Graham wouldn't like me calling you princess?”
“Why the fuck would Graham care? He was out with Vanessa yesterday,” I spit.
His eyes widen. “Ah, so there's another reason you're moping. Go get your bathing suit on, or I'll drag you out in your sweats and make you surf.”
I huff at him, then head into my bedroom and throw on my bathing suit.
We walk out to his SUV. Owen opens my door, and I climb in. As he comes around to his side and starts the engine, I ask sarcastically, “When did you become a gentleman?”
He grins. “Well, I had to get Bianca to pay attention to me somehow.”
I shake my head as we drive to the beach. Owen unloads the surfboards from the SUV, and we head into the water.
“Owen, I've never surfed before.” I give him a nervous look.
He grins at me. “You know how to swim, right?” I nod. “Then you'll be fine. I'll teach you.”
Owen shows me how to paddle quickly and catch a wave. I copy him, paddling harder when he calls for me to go faster. Then he's yelling at me to stand. I spring up on the board, lose my balance, and fall face-first into the water. I surface right away and climb back onto the board, straddling it.
He paddles over. “You good?” I nod, blowing water out of my nose.
He chuckles. “That wasn't too bad a crash. Next time, spread your weight evenly across the board. You flipped because most of it was on your right leg. You'll get the hang of it.”
We swim farther out, and Owen signals for me to paddle.
I go faster and faster, then jump to my feet as I enter the wave.
I trail a hand along the water. Adrenaline surges through me, yet there's something calming about being inside the wave.
Then it crashes over me and knocks me underwater. Shit. I got too cocky.
I surface and paddle toward Owen. “That was pretty good, Nora,” he says. “Looks like you're having fun.”
I offer a small smile. “I am. Thank you, Owen.”
My feet dangle in the water. “You know, Nora, Graham only had breakfast with Vanessa.
It wasn't anything. She wanted to know if he was okay after the incident overseas.
They contacted her because he forgot to take her off his emergency contact sheet.
I think that's part of why she's in town, but I can't figure out why she's sticking around.”
I take a deep breath. “Does he care about her?”
Owen meets my eyes, knowing what answers I'm searching for. “Graham cares about a lot of people. So yes, he cares about her. But he's not in love with her anymore. He's madly in love with one woman, and she just told him she hated him.”
Tears gather in my eyes as I remember how horrible I was to him. “I don't hate him. I hate how he made me feel.”
Owen gives me a sad look. “I know you don't, Nora.
But Graham has a lot going on. Some shit went down overseas that we really can't discuss.
The woman he loves won't talk to him, and the woman he hated for a while, the one who hurt him badly, is back trying to fuck with his head.
He's also been seeing a therapist for anger management.
He's trying, Nora. Maybe you should too.”
We head back to shore and then to my apartment. As I turn to undo my seatbelt, I say, “Thanks for today, Owen. And thanks for treating Bianca the way she needs.”
He grins. “She's something else. Fucking feisty as hell, but I love every bit of it. Especially when she starts taking charge, if you know what I mean.” He winks.
I roll my eyes. “You two are such pervs. Bye, Owen.”
He chuckles. “Bye, Nora.”