Chapter 10
Brie’s spoonstopped halfway to her mouth. She stared at Cassie for a long moment, then her mouth curved up into a smile. “Do you need some pointers? I know it’s been a while.”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “Stop it. I don’t even know if we’re going to…you know.”
Her friend scoffed. “It really has been a long time if you think a guy asking you to spend the night doesn’t mean you’re going to have sex. Maybe we need to start from the beginning. Go over the basics.”
“Very funny.”
“Well, I’m here if you need me.” Brie’s eyes shined with amusement as she ate her cereal.
Shaking her head, Cassie finished her bagel and cleaned up before heading to work with her overnight bag in tow. Stuffed in the side pocket was the limits list Jesse had given her. He hadn’t specifically asked her to bring it, but she felt it was better to be safe than sorry.
She tried to keep her mind on work as she scanned through the reports on her desk, but it was difficult to concentrate. All she could think about was what was going to happen later. Or, at least, what might happen later. She was equal parts excited and nervous.
The research she’d done on BDSM varied a lot. Some of it she thought she’d be okay with—maybe even like. But there were other parts she couldn’t see herself enjoying. Those were the parts that had her questioning her sanity. That and the fear she couldn’t please him. She wasn’t exactly the most experienced twenty-seven-year-old.
Of course, when she’d brought her lack of experience up to Jesse, he’d turned it around, saying he liked the idea. Given some of the things she’d seen in her research, that made no sense, but he’d told her to trust him and that’s what she was attempting to do. She only hoped she didn’t disappoint him.
By the time five o’clock rolled around, Cassie was a ball of nerves. She knew she shouldn’t be. This was what she wanted. Or, at least, she was pretty sure she did. But she couldn’t stop the worry churning inside her.
Shutting down her computer, Cassie walked to her boss’s door and knocked.
“Enter.”
She opened the door and stuck her head inside. “Was there anything else you need before I leave for the day?”
Blake Masters looked up from his computer. “I don’t believe so. Enjoy your evening, Cassie.”
She nodded, closed the door, and took a step back…right into a solid wall of flesh.
Jesse’s aftershave permeated the air around her a moment before his low, deep voice sent shivers down her body that settled between her legs. “Are you ready to go?”
Cassie swallowed, trying to control her heart rate. “Yes. I just need to get my purse.” She turned to face him and all attempts to regulate her heartbeat failed as she met his gaze.
He lifted his arm and she saw her purse dangling from two of his fingers.
“Thank you.” She took her purse and draped it over her shoulder.
“I’ll follow you to my place,” Jesse said, his voice making her want to beg him to touch her.
But she knew they couldn’t. Not here. Not now. There were too many curious eyes, and his father was in the next room.
Jesse smirked, his blue eyes darkening. He knew exactly what she was thinking. “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to ask my father if we can borrow his office.”
That got her feet moving. She couldn’t make it to her car fast enough.
It took them entirely too long to reach his condo. She kept glancing in her rearview mirror to confirm he was still behind her.
Jesse parked his car beside hers in the parking garage before coming to help her out of her vehicle. Tingles moved up her arm when he took her hand and guided her to her feet. He glanced in her back seat. “Where’s your bag?”
She licked her lips, desperate for moisture. “In the trunk.”
He bent down, his shoulder grazing her hip as he pulled the lever to pop the trunk. How could something so simple send her pulse racing?
Cassie released a steadying breath when he left her side to retrieve her bag. She felt hot all over and he wasn’t even touching her.
Jessie reached into the truck and grabbed her bag. He slung her overnight back over his shoulder, then closed the trunk. Their gazes met and his smirk returned.
He held out his hand for her and she took it. Lacing their fingers together, he placed a kiss on her forehead, then guided her toward the elevator.
The reality of the situation began to sink in as they ascended to his floor. The doors opened and the weight of everything seemed to make each step feel heavier than the last. They were really doing this. She was really doing this.
Brie was right. A guy didn’t ask you to sleep over if he didn’t plan on having sex with you. And Jesse didn’t just want sex with her. He wanted kinky sex with her.
Jesse must have felt the change in her mood as they stepped off the elevator. He ran the tips of his fingers over her jaw in a sweet caress. “We’re going to talk. Then you can decide if you want anything more.”
Talk. She could do that. She was good at talking. Most of the time.
Cassie nodded.
He gave her hand a comforting squeeze as they made their way down the hall to his condo.
His place looked the same as it had when she was there two nights ago down to the book lying on his coffee table. “I’m going to put your bag in the spare room.”
She nodded, then caught herself. “Um. The papers…the list…”
He glanced at the bag, then at her. “Dinner first. Then we can discuss the rest.”
Dinner? Would she even be able to eat knowing the stuff they’d be talking about after?
As an answer to her question, her stomach growled. She hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, and the half of a ham sandwich and chips were long gone.
Jesse returned a few minutes later. “I ordered us Chinese food.” He checked his watch. “It should be here any minute.”
Feeling the need to say something, she went to the only thing she could think of. “How did you know I like Chinese food?”
He smiled and removed two glasses from the cabinet. “I have my sources.”
The only two people who would know her food preferences and would share them with Jesse were her best friend and her boss. She was pretty sure Brie would have mentioned talking to Jesse, which left Jesse’s father.
Shock and embarrassment soared through her at the thought that Jesse had discussed their evening plans with the man who signed her paychecks. “You told your dad about tonight?”
“That we’re having dinner? Yes. Why wouldn’t I?” Jesse asked.
She blanched. “Does he know? About your relationship preferences, I mean?” Flashes of Jesse and his dad discussing the kinky things Jesse wanted to do to her were turning her stomach sour. Would he do that?
Jesse filled the glasses with ice and set them on the counter. “The last conversation I had with my father regarding my sex life was when I was fourteen. It consisted of him handing me a box of condoms and telling me not to get a girl pregnant.” He opened the refrigerator and removed a pitcher of what looked to be water with lemon slices in it, then carried it to the table along with the glasses.
As he set everything down, there was a knock on the door.
She’d been so focused on their conversation, the sound startled her, and she let out a squeak.
Jesse cradled her face with his palm in a comforting gesture. “It’s just the food.”
A few seconds passed before he dropped his hand and went to answer the door.
Cassie was still trying to process everything when he returned with two bags of Chinese food. She could smell the familiar scents of soy sauce and ginger, and it made her stomach growl again. This time, he heard it.
“Have a seat. I’ll get us some plates.”
Starving, she did as he asked and took a seat at the table next to one of the glasses.
He returned a moment later with two plates and silverware. “I prefer real silverware over plastic. The stuff they give you breaks too easy.”
For some reason, her snark decided to make an appearance. “Maybe you’re too rough with it.”
Again, he grinned. “Maybe.”
He seemed to like her snark, although that didn’t seem to fall in line with her research. Didn’t Dominants want submissives to follow their commands?
Jesse placed two containers in front of her. He opened the flaps, revealing shrimp fried rice and hot and sour soup—her favorites.
“How did you know?” Her words trailed off as she realized she already knew the answer. His dad.
As if reading her mind, he began to talk as he loaded up his plate with his own meal. “Cass, I’d never betray your trust by discussing our private relationship with my father. Little things like what you like to eat for lunch or how you take your coffee are a different matter. Private things. Intimate things. Those are between us and no one else.”
She knew he was making sense. And it wasn’t a big deal he asked his dad about her favorite Chinese food. The real cause of her emotions was tucked into her overnight bag. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything.”
“What happens if we go over my list and we’re not compatible?”
He swirled his lo mien noodles around his fork and met her gaze. “We negotiate.”
She swallowed. “I’m not good at negotiation.”
A wicked gleam in his eye, he responded, “That’s better for me, then.” Taking a bite, he chewed and went for another. “Eat. Once we’re finished, we’ll go over our lists. You seem to be anxious to get started.”
* * *
Jesse kept an eye on her as he ate his beef lo mien. She was nervous, and he understood that. He was asking her to explore her sexuality in ways she’d never considered before.
The list he’d given her was extensive. He’d explored some kink clubs while he was overseas and one of the nicer ones he’d encountered had the most extensive list of kinks on their website he’d ever seen. It was from that, and viewing other limit lists in the past, that he’d created the list he’d given Cassie.
He didn’t want this process to be stressful for her. The list and the play were meant to be mutually beneficial. This wasn’t only about his pleasure but hers as well. He was hoping once they got started, she’d understand that.
“How was your day?” he asked, wanting to redirect her focus.
“It was okay.”
He waited to see if she’d go on, but she didn’t. “Any more problems from your coworkers?”
“I was at my desk most of the day. Everyone seemed to leave me alone unless they needed to drop something off for Mr. Masters.” She paused. “It feels strange calling him Mr. Masters when we’re talking, but I don’t know if I feel comfortable calling him Blake, either.”
“It’s fine. Call him whatever you’re comfortable calling him. I won’t be offended either way.”
She smiled and continued eating her food.
Jesse wished he could say the same about his day. He’d stopped by the break room to get a refill on coffee and overheard his name as he approached the door. Not one to shy away from confrontation, he strolled inside and met the stares of the two women sitting at the small round table. One of them had looked guilty as hell. The other had met his gaze head-on and given him a big, knowing grin.
He’d greeted them as though he hadn’t heard anything and proceeded to get his coffee. They remained quiet while he moved about the room, but he saw the looks they were shooting each other. As he was about to leave, he stopped by their table. “Is there something you ladies needed?”
Again, the one looked ready to dart out of the room and hide under her desk. The other met his stare head-on. “Not at all, Mr. Masters. We’re just enjoying our lunch.”
He’d wanted to press more, but two other colleagues came in and he lost his opportunity. Besides, what was he going to say? They all knew he and Cassie were an item. Office gossip was to be expected, but the boldness of this woman was rubbing him the wrong way. He was sure, given the opportunity, she’d be one of the ones giving Cassie a hard time.
Jesse and Cassie finished their meals and he stood to clear their dishes. “Why don’t you get your list and we’ll get started? The spare room is the first door to your left. Your bag’s on the bed.”
Cassie stood without a word and made her way down the hall. He was beginning to think most of her nerves were from the waiting rather than the prospect of going over their lists together. It was information to remember for future use. His girl didn’t like being made to wait and he’d bet that included orgasms as well.
She returned less than a minute later with her papers in hand.
He motioned for her to retake her seat at the table. “I’ll be right back.”
Not giving her time to respond, he ducked into his study, opened the bottom drawer of his desk, and extracted his list.
When he returned to the dining room, Cassie sat with her back ramrod straight and her palms facing down on the table, her list in front of her. She looked up at his approach and he knew he’d enjoy seeing those hazel eyes of hers beaming up at him as she kneeled before him.
He took a seat next to her. “I know you’ve never done this before, so I want to be clear on how this works.” He waited for her to meet his gaze. “We’re going to talk about a lot of things, including our past sexual histories and experiences. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about and no need to be shy. I’ll learn every inch of you soon enough.”
A light pink darkened her cheeks at that. He really did love seeing that flush of her skin and wondered how far down it went.
That, however, was going to have to wait for another time. He placed his list in front of him and met her gaze. “First, let’s talk about your sexual experience. How many sexual partners have you had?”
Her eyes went wide and he saw the pulse in her neck pick up its pace. “Do I have to answer that?”
“Yes.” Jesse wasn’t sure why she was hesitating. He knew she didn’t have a lot of sexual experience with men.
She swallowed and looked down. “Two.”
That was lower than he’d expected. He knew she hadn’t slept with her last boyfriend, but she was twenty-seven.
He tried not to think about all the possibilities and focused on what she was saying. “Tell me about them.”
“What do you want to know?” Her voice was soft, barely audible if he hadn’t been sitting so close to her. She was clearly uncomfortable.
“Who was the first?” he asked.
“My high school boyfriend. Brian.”
“How old were you?” It seemed he was going to have to pull every little detail out of her.
“Sixteen.”
“How was the experience?”
She froze and her hands curled into fists. “I don’t remember.”
He knew she was lying and that irked him, but her body language had all his protective instincts on high alert. “You don’t remember your first time?”
“Can we talk about something else?”
Jesse knew she wanted him to drop it, but he refused. Not only did he want to know, he needed to know. Especially if something had happened. And if something had happened, it might explain her hesitation when it came to sex with her last boyfriend. “No.”
She met his gaze, then looked across the room before standing and striding toward the door.
He scraped his chair on the hardwood surface and caught her after only a few feet. He turned her to face him, forcing her to meet his gaze. “What happened, Cass? Tell me.”
She shook her head.
Placing his forehead against hers, he cupped her face with one hand and tried to comfort her. “Tell me.” It wasn’t a question, and she knew it.
Cassie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “We’d been dating for almost six months. He was a star football player and a senior. I was shocked he was even interested in me, but he was. He made me feel beautiful, special.”
Something told him he wasn’t going to like this, but he kept his thoughts to himself and waited.
“Our team had just won the state championship and he’d wanted me to go to a party with him. Mom said no, so he’d gone to the party alone.” She paused. “At two in the morning, he snuck into my room.”
“Was he drunk?” Jesse knew what happened at parties after big games. He’d been to a few of them.
“Yes.”
Anger for this man he’d never met flared. “Did he rape you, Cassie?”
“No. It wasn’t like that. I mean…I was his girlfriend. He…”
“He what?”
“He was a little…rough.”
Jesse clenched his jaw. “Did he know you were a virgin?”
She nodded as a tear slid down her cheek.
“Did you tell him no?”
Cassie shook her head. “When he climbed into bed with me, I went to scream and he put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet.”
Jesse had heard all he needed to hear. He scooped Cassie up and carried her over to the couch. Once she was cradled in his arms, he held her tight.
He’d planned to introduce her to his world and explore sensations she had never experienced before tonight. Now he was left wanting to beat the shit out of her first boyfriend.