Chapter 11
“Did you ever tell anyone?”
Cassie snuggled against his chest. His arms around her, the scent of him, made her feel safe. “I told Brie when we were in college. She didn’t understand why I wasn’t interested in sex.” Cassie paused. “She told me I should tell my brothers and they’d beat Brian up for me.”
“I’d hope so.”
She sat up. He was serious. “You agree with her?”
“Yes.” His voice was firm. “And if they won’t, I will.”
Warmth spread through her chest at the thought of him standing up for her. “It was a long time ago.”
“No man should ever do that. The fact you were a virgin makes it even worse.” He stroked her hair, following it down her shoulder. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Cass.”
“Thank you.” She paused, not sure how much she should tell him, but she was hoping if she got it all out now, they wouldn’t have to talk about this ever again. “He called me the next day and it was like nothing happened. I don’t think he remembered coming over.” She paused. “Or what happened.”
Jesse rubbed his hand along her arm. “Did you ever confront him about it?”
She shook her head. “No. We were only together for another two weeks before he ended things, saying I’d become cold and distant.” Cassie sat up, meeting Jesse’s gaze. “Every time he’d try to kiss me, I’d freeze up. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to. It just…happened.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Cassie. He did.”
When she didn’t say anything more, he moved on. “Tell me about your second sexual encounter.”
“Do I have to?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
“Yes.”
“Trent and I had been dating for over a year. He’d been so patient with me. I’d even met his parents.” She sighed. “But when I finally had sex with him, it didn’t go well.”
“Did he?—”
“No. No. He was gentle and kind.”
Jesse lifted her chin and forced her to look at him. “I’m sensing a but.”
“I felt as if I was going through the motions. I knew what I was supposed to do, so that’s what I did.”
His fingers never left her face as he studied her. “Are you telling me you faked an orgasm?” There was a slight pull at one side of his lips.
Talking about this was weird. She only discussed this kind of stuff with Brie.
“Honesty, remember?” he prompted.
“Yes.”
He raised one eyebrow. “Yes, you remember, or yes, you faked an orgasm?”
The look on his face lightened the mood a little. She pressed her lips together. “Yes to both.”
“What happened after you faked your orgasm?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. He finished, held me, and fell asleep.”
Jesse studied her face. “Was that the only time you had sex with him?”
“No. We were together for another year.”
Cassie knew the next question he was going to ask. Or at least, she thought she did.
“Why did you break up?”
She looked at her lap. “He proposed.”
“You broke things off because he asked you to marry him?”
She nodded.
“I need you to fill in some gaps for me, Cass.”
Releasing a sigh, she met his gaze. “When you kiss me, I feel it all the way to my toes. My heart races and I want you to touch me.” She paused. “I never felt that with him. Trent was nice. I felt safe with him. But I didn’t love him. Not like I should. Not as a wife should love a husband.”
A moment passed before she realized what she’d said and how it must have sounded. She sat up straight and met his gaze. “I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I mean, I know we haven’t been together long enough to…”
She opened her mouth to continue trying to smooth over what had come out of her runaway mouth, but he stopped her.
“It’s okay. I understood what you meant.” His fingers brushed the side of her face, sending warmth down to settle in her belly. “There’s something special between us, Cassie. I felt it the moment I saw you.”
Their gazes held, causing that warmth in her belly to turn into a burning desire to feel his lips on hers again.
As if something was drawing her closer, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his. They were warm and welcoming, and she felt something in her spark as her tongue met his. She shifted to get a better angle, needing to be closer to him.
Before she knew it, she was straddling him, her skirt hiked high on her hips. She could feel his erection pressing against her heat, and she began rocking against it.
Jesse’s hands gripped her hips and held her still. “You’re a very naughty girl, Cassie. I know what you’re trying to do.”
The air around them stilled and she felt reality begin creeping in again. “Please.”
“Baby, we need to finish talking first.”
“I don’t want to talk anymore.”
He sighed. “Whether you want to or not, we need to have this conversation.”
The determination in his voice dashed any hope she had of moving on to more pleasant things. “Why can’t we just let things happen?”
Jesse tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and met her gaze. “I don’t want to start playing, do something you don’t like, and have you either shut down on me, freak out, or worse. I want both of us to enjoy our play and that can’t happen if I don’t have all the information.”
When he said it like that, it made sense. Why did he have to be so logical?
She climbed off him and moved to the opposite side of the couch. Tucking her feet under her, she tried to look casual, but she felt anything but. Sex wasn’t something she talked about with anyone but Brie and even then, she kept a lot of it to herself. She wasn’t one to overshare and Jesse seemed to want to know everything.
He held her gaze for a long moment, then stood and walked to the dining room table. After retrieving their discarded lists, he returned to his spot on the couch. This time, he handed her his list, then scanned over hers. “Did you ever experiment in the bedroom with Trent or by yourself with toys?”
Heat bloomed on Cassie’s cheeks. This all felt very uncomfortable, but she knew he wanted an answer. “Other than my vibrator, no.”
Nodding, he went back to reading.
She did the same, but as she looked over his papers, her apprehension grew. He’d tried most of the things listed. When she’d been filling out her list, she’d had to look some of them up.
When she finally glanced up, he was staring at her. “What questions do you have for me?”
“Um.” Thoughts raced through her head, but no sound came out.
“Cass, I need you to talk to me.”
Talk. She could do that. “Have you really done all these things? With other women?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
She nodded and glanced down at the list again.
“Cassie?”
Her head snapped up. It took her a moment to realize he was waiting for her to ask him a question. Instead, she went with a statement. “I don’t know if I can do some of these things.”
“You don’t need to. That’s not how this works. Remember what I said. This is about negotiation. I share with you what I like, and you do the same. From there, we decide what we’re both comfortable with.” When she didn’t say anything, he continued, “Let’s take spanking, for example.”
The memory of him smacking her backside as she walked away from him the night before flashed in her mind.
“From your response last night, I’d wager you’d enjoy a good erotic spanking.”
“An erotic spanking?” For some reason, those two words didn’t go together in her brain.
As if he knew what she was thinking, the right side of his mouth tilted up. “Yes. You’d lie across my lap, your ass in the air, and I’d make your ass nice and warm and pink.” His eyes darkened as he spoke.
Cassie licked her lips, confused at how her body was reacting to what he was saying. When she’d filled out her list, she’d marked spanking as neutral/unsure. She’d been as torn then as she was now.
But she had to admit she was a little curious. He was correct about the night before. When he’d swatted her butt, she’d felt something zing through her and she’d wanted his hands on her again. What he was describing, however, felt…different. She’d be exposed in a way she’d never been before. “And if I don’t like it?”
“After we play, at least at the beginning, we’ll talk about what happened, what we liked and didn’t like. This arrangement should work for both of us.”
That made her feel a little better. “So if I don’t like something you do to me, then I use my safeword and you’ll stop?”
“You have been doing your research.” He grinned. “Safewords are to be used when something is wrong. The rope is too tight. You’re getting a cramp.” Jesse paused. “You’re starting to panic because of something that happened in your past.”
It didn’t take a genius to know what he was referring to. “I’ve never freaked out during sex before.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Did Trent often tie you up? Hold you down? Restrain you in any way?”
“No, but—” Her words died in her throat. Her gaze lowered to his list again. He’d listed bondage and restraint as love on his list. She swallowed. “Will you warn me first?”
“How much warning would you prefer?”
“I don’t know.”
He met her gaze. “If I’m going to restrain you, I’ll tell you first. Is that acceptable?”
She nodded.
“Good. Now tell me about your experience when it comes to oral sex, both giving and receiving.”
* * *
Cassie stared at him with wide eyes. He was quite enjoying watching her squirm. She wasn’t comfortable talking about sex, but she’d get over that soon enough.
“Um. I’ve done it?”
He chuckled. “I meant, were your experiences positive? Did you enjoy giving your partner oral? Did you like it when he went down on you?”
She squirmed in her seat again and lowered her gaze. “Yes, I liked both. Although, it didn’t happen very often.”
Jesse nodded, deciding not to press her on the issue. There’d be plenty of time to explore what she liked and didn’t like when it came to oral sex. He was a big fan of both giving and receiving.
It took them another hour to get through enough of their lists where he felt confident to move forward. By then, it was almost nine o’clock, too late to do anything elaborate. He removed his list from where she had it resting on her lap, tossed it onto the coffee table, and stood.
Cassie’s gaze followed his movement. He held out his hand and waited for her to place hers into it. Given her hesitation to talk about her sexual preferences and her past experiences when it came to sex, he wondered if she’d have second thoughts when he led her to his bedroom.
She didn’t. Cassie laced her fingers with his and followed him down the hall to his room.
The thing that sold him on this condo wasn’t the view or the spacious living area. It was the master suite. There was plenty of space for a king-sized bed and whatever else he wanted to put in it. Most people would fill the area with dressers and maybe even a reading nook. He, on the other hand, wanted the space so he could have options for play.
Guiding Cassie to the far side of the bed, he turned her to face him. “When we’re in this room, you’ll address me as Sir. If I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it. If there’s a problem, you are to use your safeword, and I’ll stop what I’m doing and check in with you. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” She paused. “Sir.”
That made him smile. “Good girl. You’re a fast learner.”
The look on her face told him she was happy she’d gotten the response right.
He cupped her jaw and his thumb grazed her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. He wanted to take things slow with her tonight. They’d have other nights to pull out all the toys and play. This first time, he wanted to get to know her.
Moving his hand lower, he traced the curve of her neck down to her collarbone. Her blouse had a slight dip in the center, although it was extremely modest given her position at his father’s company. She looked very put together. He was going to enjoy unraveling her.
Cassie’s chest moved in a steady rhythm under her blouse as his fingers reached the top button. He slipped his fingers under the fabric, teasing the top swells of her breasts. Her breathing deepened, pushing against his touch.
He popped the top button of her blouse to reveal her lacy bra. For some reason, he thought she’d be a satin bra type of woman, but he wasn’t complaining. The visual was something he’d be replaying in his head.
The lace was sheer, barely covering the flesh underneath, and as he continued to unbutton her blouse, he was able to see her dark pink nipples pushing against the fabric. Bending his head, he captured one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked.
Her hands went to his hair. “Keep your hands at your side,” he murmured, not releasing her nipple.
She lowered her arms, and he switched to her other breast. When he lifted his head, her bra had wet patches over her very hard nipples and her chest was moving rapidly.
He trailed a finger down the center of her chest to the next button and picked up where he left off. Releasing the last button, he pushed the shirt off her shoulders. It slid to the floor and pooled at her feet.
Without a word, he reached behind her, unzipped her skirt, and let it fall. She wore a matching pair of lace panties, but they were covered by panty hose. “Do you own thigh-high hose?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“From now on, that’s what I want you to wear. These”—he ran his finger from her waist down between her legs—“are too constricting. I want to have easy access to what is mine.” When she didn’t answer, he met her gaze. “Is that clear?”
“Yes, Sir. No pantyhose.”
Jesse kneeled in front of her and removed the offending hose. He understood why women wore them, but they were too much work to get off when he wanted quick access to her pussy. Thigh-highs would give her the look she needed for work but would allow him to spread her open at a moment’s notice, push her panties aside, and be balls deep within a few seconds.
He lifted her feet, one by one, removed the offending material, and tossed them in the trash.
“But…”
Gazing up at her, he raised an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?”
“You threw them away.”
“Yes.”
She thought about that for a few seconds before responding. “I can’t wear them even if you’re not around?”
“Our relationship doesn’t cease to be just because we’re not physically together.” He caressed the inside of her leg, traveling up toward the lace panties covering her sex. “I want you thinking of me wherever you are, even if I can’t be there with you in person.”
She nodded and sucked in a breath as his fingers reached the edge of the lace. He ran the tip of his nose over the fabric, taking in her scent. Her brain was still working, but her body was anticipating what was coming. There was already a damp patch showing him how wet she was. He wanted a taste.
Lifting her leg again, he rested it over his shoulder. He pushed the fabric aside and gave her pussy a long lick.
Cassie released a soft whimper and he saw her hands clench at her sides. She wanted to touch him, but she was trying to be obedient.
He went back in for another taste, but this time he lingered on her clit. Her response wasn’t exactly what he’d expected. She arched her back and began tumbling backward.
Jesse wrapped an arm around her back and got to his feet to help brace her fall. Luckily, the bed was at her back, so she didn’t go far.
She stared up at him as he braced himself over her. Her face was flushed, but otherwise, she seemed fine. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.” She paused. “I’m good if you want to continue, Sir.”
He snorted. Something told him she was going to be a handful once she got used to the dynamics of their relationship. “Is that so?”
Then, before she could contemplate an answer, Jesse pushed himself up, sat on the bed, and lifted her legs over his lap. He gave her lace-clad bum a firm swat and she let out a startled squeak.
Jesse ran his hand over her ass several times before pulling her panties down to her knees. “Put your hands behind your back.”
She brought her arms down and rested her hands on her lower back. He knew he’d be taking a chance holding her down this early into their relationship, but he also didn’t want to have her arms flailing around and knocking him in the face. “When we’re playing, I’m in charge of our play. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.” Her voice wasn’t as confident now as it had been a moment before.
Raising his hand, he took aim at her right cheek.