20. Chapter 20 Eli #2
"This morning she was polite."
"Polite?"
"That's almost worse."
Wren smiles sympathetically.
"I know exactly what you mean."
I look down at my hands.
"I've replayed every conversation we had this weekend."
I shrug helplessly.
"I can't figure out where I messed up."
She sets another towel on the growing stack.
"What happened after the festival?"
I tell her everything.
About Stacey.
About the motel.
About Sophie.
About Sunday morning at the library.
Even about Sophie asking why Maggie hadn't hugged her.
Wren stops folding. She closes her eyes for just a second. When she opens them again, there's sadness there.
Not surprise.
Just sadness.
"I knew she'd do that."
"You knew?"
"I was afraid she would."
Hope flickers inside me.
"So you do know what's wrong."
She shakes her head gently.
"I know what she thinks she's doing."
I sit a little straighter.
"What does that mean?"
Instead of answering, she asks another question.
"Eli... why do you think Maggie came to Cedar Hollow?"
"To save the library."
She smiles softly.
"That's why she packed her suitcases."
I frown.
"What do you mean?"
"Why did she stay?"
The question catches me completely off guard.
I think about the Prairie Rose.
About bedtime stories.
About Book Trail cards tucked around town.
About Sophie laughing from inside a blanket fort.
About kisses beneath the oak tree.
Finally I answer.
"Because she found people."
Wren nods.
"Exactly."
I wait.
She folds one last towel before looking at me again and saying, "I don't think you're asking the right question."
"What question should I be asking?"
She meets my eyes.
"Instead of asking yourself what you did..."
She pauses.
"...ask yourself what Maggie believes she's protecting."
The words settle over the room.
I stare at her.
Protecting?
From what?
From whom?
Nothing about the last twenty-four hours suddenly makes sense.
Yet somehow...
It feels as though she's just handed me the first piece of a puzzle I'd been trying to solve all day.
Wren stacks the last towel neatly on the shelf.
"I can't answer it for you."
"I know."
"And even if I could..."
She smiles kindly.
"It wouldn't mean as much as when you figure it out yourself."
I let out a slow breath.
"I was hoping this would be easier."
Wren laughs quietly.
"So was Maggie."
For the first time all day, I stop trying to remember what Maggie said.
Instead...
I begin wondering what she never said at all.
The drive back to my house takes less than five minutes.
I spend every one of them replaying Wren's question.
What does Maggie believe she's protecting?
By the time I pull into the driveway, I still don't have an answer.
Dottie June's sedan is already parked at the curb.
Through the front window I can see Sophie curled up on the couch with Gerald tucked beneath one arm while Dottie June sits beside her, reading from one of the library books they brought home after the festival.
The familiar sight makes me smile.
I step inside quietly.
Dottie June looks up over the top of the book.
"Well?"
I blink.
"Well, what?"
"Did Wren straighten you out?"
I laugh.
"Not exactly."
She closes the book and studies me for a moment.
"You've got that look."
"What look?"
"The one that says you're trying to solve something with your head that's probably supposed to be solved with your heart."
I shake my head.
"Does everyone in this town know me that well?"
"No."
Dottie smiles.
"Just the people who love you."
The words linger with me.
I step back out on the porch. The evening air is warm, carrying the scent of freshly cut grass from somewhere down the block.
Normally, I'd stay home.
I'd give Maggie space.
Except...
Every instinct I have tells me that's exactly the wrong thing to do.
Wren's words echo in my mind.
Ask yourself what Maggie believes she's protecting.
If Maggie is protecting something...
Then she isn't pulling away because she stopped caring.
She's pulling away because she cares too much.
I head back to the house. I glance toward Dottie June.
"I need to run one more errand."
She waves me toward the door before I finish the sentence.
"I've got Sophie."
"You don't mind?"
"Honey, I've raised four children, spoiled eleven grandchildren, and survived Earl Benson's barbecue experiments."
She grins. "I can certainly handle one sweet little girl for another hour."
Sophie looks up from her book.
"Are you going to see Maggie?"
I hesitate.
"I hope so."
She smiles.
"Tell her Gerald says hi."
"I'll do my best."
Ten minutes later, I pull into the nearly empty parking lot behind the library.
Only one light glows inside.
I find Maggie exactly where I expected.
She's kneeling beside the children's shelves, returning picture books one by one.
She looks up when she hears my footsteps.
Surprise flickers across her face.
"Eli."
"I know you're closed."
"I was just finishing up."
"I won't keep you long."
She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear before standing.
For a moment, neither of us says anything.
The silence isn't uncomfortable.
Just... careful.
Finally I take one step closer.
"I'd like to ask you something."
She nods.
"Okay."
"Would you take a walk with me?"
Not tonight.
Not tomorrow.
"Right now."
She looks at me for a long moment. Long enough that I can almost see the conversation happening inside her head.
Part of her wants to say yes.
Another part...
The part that's been quietly disappearing since yesterday...
Is trying very hard to say no.
She lowers her eyes.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
The words are gentle.
Almost apologetic.
But they still land like a punch.
I search her face.
"Do you mean that?"
She doesn't answer.
Instead, she whispers,
"I think it's what's best."
For the first time since I've known Maggie...
I realize those two things might not be the same.
I nod slowly.
"I'll respect that."
She closes her eyes for the briefest moment.
"Thank you."
I turn toward the door.
My hand is already on the handle when I stop.
Without looking back, I say quietly,
"I don't know what you're trying to protect."
The room behind me goes perfectly still.
"But whatever it is..."
I finally turn to face her.
"...I wish you'd let me help."
For a long moment, neither of us moves.
Maggie lowers her eyes, blinking rapidly as though she's trying to hold something together that no longer wants to stay in one piece.
Her fingers tighten around the spine of the picture book she's still holding.
No words come.
I want to cross the room.
I want to tell her we can figure this out together, whatever this is.
Instead, I stand where I am.
Because if the last twenty-four hours have taught me anything, it's that pushing Maggie has never been the way to reach her.
She'll come when she's ready.
At least...
I hope she will.
I quietly let myself out of the library.
For the first time since I became a firefighter, I find myself facing a problem I can't solve.
And somehow...
That scares me more than any fire ever has.