21. Chapter 21 Maggie
Tuesday morning arrives with a long list and a restless heart.
The Friends of the Library committee has transformed the meeting room into mission control.
Color-coded folders cover the conference table, each one neatly labeled with tomorrow night's agenda.
Mrs. Davis is reviewing the list of speakers one last time while Margaret Curtis checks the sign-in sheets with the concentration of an air traffic controller.
"I've alphabetized everyone by last name," Margaret announces. "If anyone arrives out of order, I shall simply have to adapt."
Earl Benson, who is taping handmade "Save Our Library" signs to foam boards, looks over his shoulder.
"I don't think people usually arrive alphabetically."
"They would if they were considerate."
Earl grins.
"I'll mention that at the next town meeting."
Even Mrs. Davis laughs.
The room hums with quiet confidence.
The petitions are stacked in neat piles.
Business owners have written letters of support.
The Chamber members have promised to attend.
Parents have volunteered to speak about the children's programs, and Pastor Williams called first thing this morning to say that half his congregation planned to be there.
If someone had asked me two months ago whether Cedar Hollow would rally around its library, I would have hoped.
Now I know.
The strange part is that I can't seem to enjoy it.
I stand at the window overlooking the town square, absently straightening a stack of note cards that don't need straightening.
Tomorrow should feel like the finish line.
Instead, it feels like I'm waiting for something I can't name.
"Maggie?"
Mrs. Davis joins me at the window.
"You've looked out there three times in the last five minutes."
"Have I?"
"You have."
I smile sheepishly.
"I suppose I'm distracted."
She follows my gaze toward the square.
"Looking for someone?"
My cheeks warm before I can answer.
"I don't know."
That isn't entirely true.
I know exactly who I'm looking for.
Eli hasn't stopped by the library since last night.
Not after I'd stood there holding a picture book and told him I didn't think taking a walk together was a good idea.
The memory makes my stomach tighten.
He hadn't argued. He hadn't tried to change my mind. He'd simply looked disappointed.
For some reason, that hurt far more than if he'd been angry.
Mrs. Davis studies me for a long moment.
"Have you ever noticed that librarians make terrible liars?"
I laugh softly.
"I wasn't aware that was part of graduate school."
"It isn't."
She slips her arm through mine.
"But spending your life around stories makes it easier to recognize when someone is rewriting their own."
The words settle over me.
I stare at the volunteer packets spread across the table.
Every one of them tells the same story.
Neighbors showing up.
Friends helping one another.
A town refusing to give up on something it loves.
Somewhere along the way, I'd become part of that story.
So why was I suddenly trying so hard to write myself out of it?
My thoughts drift back to the library the night before.
"I don't know what you're trying to protect."
Eli's voice had been quiet.
Gentle.
"But whatever it is... I wish you'd let me help."
I close my eyes for just a moment.
The hardest part wasn't hearing him say those words.
The hardest part was realizing how badly I'd wanted to say yes.
Instead...
I'd watched him walk away.
Outside, a pickup truck rumbles through the square.
Without thinking, I glance toward the window again.
It's only the hardware store making a delivery.
No firefighter's truck.
No familiar baseball cap.
No striking blue eyes searching for mine.
Mrs. Davis gives my arm a gentle squeeze.
"The council meeting is going to go well."
I smile.
"I believe that."
She nods.
"I wasn't talking about the library."
For the second time in as many days, someone says exactly the thing I need to hear.
And for the second time...
I'm not sure I'm brave enough to believe them.
The library grows busier as the afternoon slips by.
Several parents stop in after school to return books from the festival. Mrs. Davis helps a retired couple find a biography they'd been searching for, while Margaret quietly recruits two unsuspecting patrons to carry folding chairs upstairs.
"I wasn't volunteering," one of them says with a laugh.
"You are now," Margaret replies pleasantly.
I smile to myself and return to the stack of children's books waiting to be shelved.
The familiar rhythm is comforting.
One book.
One shelf.
One story at a time.
The front bell jingles.
I glance up just as Eli walks through the door with Sophie beside him.
For one brief moment, my heart forgets all the reasons I'd given myself for keeping my distance.
Sophie spots me immediately.
"Maggie!"
She starts toward me before remembering herself.
She slows to a walk instead.
That tiny hesitation hurts more than I expect.
Eli notices it too.
Our eyes meet across the room.
He offers a quiet smile.
Not hopeful.
Not guarded.
Simply kind.
"I've got a shift meeting this afternoon," he says as they reach the circulation desk. "Would it be all right if Sophie stayed here for an hour? I’ll come pick her up afterward."
"Of course."
I kneel beside Sophie.
"We'll have the place all to ourselves."
She smiles politely.
"Okay."
Politely.
Not enthusiastically.
Just...
Politely.
Eli rests a hand lightly on Sophie's shoulder.
"I'll see you after the meeting, Soph."
"I know."
He looks at me again.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
He hesitates for the smallest fraction of a second. Almost as though he wants to say something more. Instead, he tips his cap and quietly lets himself out.
The bell jingles behind him.
For a few moments, Sophie wanders through the children's section, running one finger along the colorful spines of picture books.
Usually she talks the entire time.
Today she's unusually quiet.
I finish shelving the last few books before walking over to her.
"What are we in the mood for today?"
She shrugs.
"I don't know."
"That's a first."
"It is?"
"You always know."
She smiles a little.
"I guess I do."
We stand together in front of the mystery shelf. Without thinking, I reach for the newest chapter book she'd been asking about last week.
Then I stop.
Maybe Stacey would want to read it with her.
The thought catches me completely off guard.
I slowly slide the book back onto the shelf.
Sophie notices.
"It's okay."
I look at her.
"What is?"
"You don't have to read today."
My heart sinks.
"I don't?"
She shakes her head quickly.
"I know you're busy."
I glance around the library. Mrs. Davis has everything under control. Margaret is still upstairs. There isn't a single patron waiting for me.
"I'm not busy."
"It's okay."
She says it so gently. So matter-of-factly.
"As long as you're not mad."
I stare at her.
"Mad?"
"At me."
My breath catches.
"Sophie..."
She studies the floor.
"I thought maybe you didn't want to read with me anymore."
Every sound in the library seems to disappear. The ticking clock. The rustle of pages. Even the air conditioner humming overhead.
I hear only the little girl's voice.
"I know my mom's back."
She says the words carefully, as though she's been practicing them.
"So I thought maybe..."
She shrugs.
"...you were done."
Something inside me shatters.
Without another thought, I kneel in front of her and gather her into my arms.
"Oh, sweetheart."
She hugs me tightly.
I close my eyes, fighting back tears.
"I could never be done with you."
She leans back just enough to look at me.
"You couldn't?"
"Never."
Her shoulders relax.
"I was hoping."
A tear slips down my cheek before I can stop it.
She notices immediately.
"Did I make you sad?"
I laugh softly through the tears.
"No."
"You look sad."
I smooth a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I think..."
My voice catches.
"I think I forgot something important."
"What?"
I smile at the little girl who had quietly worked her way into my heart long before I'd realized it.
"Love isn't something you run out of."
She considers that very seriously.
"Like books?"
I laugh.
"Exactly like books."
"You can always have another one."
I nod.
"And loving one story doesn't mean you have to stop loving another."
She smiles.
"I like that."
"So do I."
She slips her small hand into mine.
"Can we read now?"
This time...
I don't hesitate.
"More than anything."
As we settle together in the reading corner, I realize the lesson I should have been teaching Sophie had somehow become the lesson she was teaching me.
A heart doesn't make room for someone new by pushing someone else out.
It simply grows.
By the time we finish the last chapter, Sophie's laughter has returned.
She insists on checking out three books instead of two because, as she explains quite seriously, "feelings require extra reading."
I stamp the due dates into each one.
"I don't believe that's an official library policy."
"It should be."
"I'll suggest it at the next librarian meeting."
She beams.
"I knew you'd understand."
The front door opens just then, and Eli steps inside still wearing his station polo. His eyes immediately find Sophie sitting beside me in the reading corner.
"There you are."
She jumps to her feet, carefully tucking Gerald beneath one arm before running across the room.
"Dad!"
He catches her in a hug that lifts her clear off the floor.
"Did you have a good afternoon?"
"The best."
She holds up her books.
"We had extra reading because feelings need more stories."
Eli looks from Sophie to me, one eyebrow raised.
"I'm afraid I missed an important policy update."
I laugh.
"So did I."
Sophie slips her hand into his.
"I'll explain it in the truck."
"I was hoping you would."
He looks back at me.
"Thank you."
This time I don't answer with careful politeness.
I simply smile.
"She helped me more than I helped her."
His expression softens, though I can tell he doesn't quite understand what I mean.
Maybe I don't either.
Not yet.
"Ready to go, Soph?"
She nods enthusiastically.
Halfway to the door she stops and turns back.
"I almost forgot."