33. Theo
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
THEO
I watch her stand here, shoulders slumped, tears dripping down her face, and the only thing I can think is: I hate her parents.
I don’t hate a lot of people in my life.
I find the energy just drains you. But those two people, who I hate with every single fiber of my being?
She shakes her head side to side as she wipes away the tears with the back of her hand, but it’s like a million more pour out of her. “I can’t do this to you.”
I feel my heart about to jump out of my chest, never in a million years thinking she would leave me because of this.
“I need to know everything.” Her voice is shaking.
“There is no reason for that.” I shake my head, not wanting to do it.
“I need to know.” I see her hands trembling as she lifts them to wipe the tears from her face. “Everything.” Her voice sounds like she is defeated.
“Collins . . .”
“How did you know she was here?”
I sigh. “I had a camera installed at the door yesterday. I saw her arrive and came right back.”
“Did you know they arrested my father?”
“I knew they were getting a warrant for his arrest, but I wasn’t sure. I was going to tell you yesterday, but when I got home, you were cramping, and the last thing you needed was this.”
“So you heard me tell you all about my father, knowing everything was going down, and you said nothing to me?” Every single time she blinks her eyes, more tears escape, and all I want to do is reach out to her and wipe them away.
She closes her eyes for a second, taking a deep inhale, and then opens her eyes. “Tell me the rest.”
“I don’t even know where to start,” I say nervously.
“At the beginning.”
“Fine. Fuck.” I try to calm my heartbeat to normal. “One night, I got home from your house, and a girl that I was . . .”
“That you slept with.” She helps me out, and I just nod, trying not to feel guilty about it.
“She followed me home and, well, she wanted something more, but I wanted you. I told her I wasn’t interested, and she was pissed and told me to watch my back.
I didn’t think much of it until”—I run my hands through my hair—“one of our jobsites was broken into. A couple of things were stolen. We didn’t think much of it.
I didn’t think much of it. I mean, I thought it was her.
” I hold the back of my neck. “Then it happened a couple more times. So Caleb put cameras up everywhere, so we’d have proof. Then the lines were cut at your house.”
“You knew they were cut?”
I nod my head. “I thought that was her, too. And then your tires were slashed, and the office was broken into. I was going to tell you, but I thought you’d be okay here with me until we had proof it was her. When we reviewed the footage yesterday and saw your father’s face . . .”
“Did he take anything?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I tell her the truth, but she waits for me to continue. “He didn’t have a chance to get much since the alarm was blaring. He only got a laptop.”
“Oh my god.” She puts her hand in front of her mouth.
“After Burke confirmed it was him yesterday, we hit a couple of the pawn shops in the next two towns over.”
“Bobbie’s and Kevin’s?” I just nod my head. She wants to laugh, but it comes out as a sob. I take a step toward her, and she holds up her hand to me.
“Did you get your stuff back?” she asks me, and I look down at the ground. “Did you get your stuff back, Theo?” Her tone is tighter the second time.
“Not everything, but it wasn’t that much.”
“They made you buy back your tools, even though they were stolen, didn’t they?”
“Collins.”
“Answer me.” Her voice quivers.
“Yes. But baby, it was nothing.” I feel like something has shifted in the room, and I’m suddenly falling. I’m holding on to a cliff’s edge, trying to claw my way to her, but she’s out of my reach. “It was nothing.”
“You’re wrong,” she says softly in a whisper. “You are so fucking wrong. It’s everything. Now do you get it? Do you get it, Theo?”
“Get what?” My chest is aching and tight.
“Why this thing with us is never ever going to work.” Her voice is calm, and I try to get her to look at me, look in my eyes, but she is gazing over my shoulder as if she’s disconnecting.
“Don’t fucking say that,” I snap. “Don’t fucking say that.”
“I’ve been in your life for just a couple of months, not even that, and look at all the shit that has happened to you. To your business. To your life.”
“That has nothing to do with us, with you.”
“It has everything to do with me!” she shouts, putting her hand to her stomach.
“It’s because of me that all of this happened.
If I weren’t in the picture, you would have never had your jobsite broken into.
You would have never had your tools stolen from you.
You would have never had this shit happen to you. ”
“You are not them.” My fingers ache to touch her, to feel her. I feel so broken for her.
“It stops now. It stops today. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be the one who does this to you.”
“You aren’t the one who is doing anything to me.” I’m trying so hard not to raise my voice, to stay calm. “You aren’t them. You could never fucking be them. Stop putting yourself with them.”
“But I am with them. I’ve been judged my whole life because of them. I’ve been looked down on and—” She stops talking when her voice trembles. “I can’t do it anymore.”
“Take a look around you.” I close the distance between us, needing to be near her. “No one is judging you because of them. Not me, not my family, not anyone who really knows you.” I finally extend my hand to hold her face. “You are judging yourself unfairly.”
“This is just the beginning of the shit you are going to have to go through.” She shakes her head.
“I won’t let you or anyone in your family be tainted because of them.
” Her head goes down, and she backs away from me.
“These months with you have been too good to be true. I’ve known that. You were too good to be true.”
“I’m in love with you,” I blurt out, and she freezes.
“While you are in there in your head, deciding what you are doing, think of that. Think about our child and me. Think about what you are giving up because of them. If you think your parents will stop with me, how do you think they’ll use our child against you?
Are you going to walk away from our child because of your parents? ”
Her lower lip quivers, and her hand goes to her stomach to protect it.
“I can’t stand here and watch you walk out on me.” I exhale. “It hurts to breathe, knowing you don’t feel like we’re worth it. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. The two of you, you’ll forever be the best thing to happen to me.”
I turn and walk out of the house, shutting the door behind me. I sink down onto the steps, not willing to leave her just yet.