Chapter 15
NOW: DIANA
“So?” Julia’s blonde eyebrow was cocked up in an annoyingly knowing way.
“So?” Diana said back to her baby sister, unwilling to give in that easily.
“DEE.” Julia said her nickname in a way that shoved whole sentences into the single name.
“I told you, she moved out okay? Bought a house and everything,” Diana huffed out.
They were in northern Vermont at her sister’s part of the business, a sprawling property that she’d turned into a recreational retreat.
They were in the large house that sat at the edge, which was reserved for exclusive guests.
Mostly it was used by Diana and Lily, though her daughter used it more to host friends who Diana suspected were also lovers.
But, so long as Lily was being safe and respectful, she didn’t see a problem with it.
She certainly wouldn’t make her daughter sneak around and tiptoe around archaic rules like her parents did.
Now, they were both up for Thanksgiving and Julia’s belated birthday.
Normally, they only spent Christmas up here, and Thanksgiving was always on the orchard given it was still a good time for business.
But Diana hadn’t wanted to be in Maplewood this Thanksgiving.
She needed some breathing room, and she needed her sister.
Lily had been on board, and the two of them had driven up last night.
Lily, who Diana got the sense was avoiding some of the folks she worked with over summers, was currently out on a solo hike, which she did from time to time.
Diana was elbow deep in cooking with Julia, a pastime they truly loved doing together.
They were making all of the sides so that the next day all they had to do was wait on the turkey.
Except right now, Diana was stuck between wanting to relax with her sister and wanting to avoid the third degree.
But she also knew there was no way of getting around it.
She wondered if she should have gone on a solo hike like her daughter; it had been a while since she just aimlessly walked the property.
It was a stunning landscape, with one main building for lodging, dining, lounging and the spa.
There were some more private VIP cabins sprinkled across the property near the main building, and the facilities also contained equipment for a number of outdoor activities.
It was cold, but Diana noticed there were still plenty of hikers and folks milling about the spread.
The boating and other outdoor activities had closed shop for the season.
Come winter, there would be day trips to nearby skiing and tubing spots, and the lake on the property would freeze over enough for ice skating.
“Do we need something harder than cider for this?” Julia’s voice brought her back to the kitchen around her. The smell of sage and other spices in the air.
Diana glanced at the clock, and saw that it was just after three in the afternoon. “Yeah fuck it, going to need some wine.”
They were almost done anyway, Julia was finalizing the green bean casserole and would just need to pop it in the oven along with the stuffing.
Diana moved to grab a bottle of red, and then sat down at the kitchen island while she opened it.
Julia popped her dish into the warm oven, grabbed her phone to set yet another timer, and then turned to grab two wine glasses from a cabinet.
“Alright, Dee, let’s get into it, shall we? I can tell these past couple of weeks haven’t been great for you, and you have a lot going on so, spill,” Julia said while Diana poured them each a glass.
Diana handed her sister her wine and looked up at her from across the island.
Her sister was her same height and had chin-length hair with an undercut that Diana thought suited her.
She also had a lip piercing and tattoo sleeve, though all that was visible due to her sweater were the lilies and various designs that extended all the way down to her left hand.
Diana let out a sigh. “Like I’ve told you, she’s moved out and—”
“I know what you’ve told me Dee, I was there.”
Diana let out another heavy sigh. So they were doing this.
“Yeah well. I basically told her that this is it for me, that I can’t spend the rest of my life waiting for stolen moments or whatever scraps she feels like she can throw me because she needs me.
” Diana felt her eyes sting and took a long drag of her wine.
“I don’t know Jules, it’s like, how is it even possible to have met my one person at 16, and be sitting here divorced, with an adult child, still fucking yearning? ”
Julia smiled down at Diana, in that way she did when she was taking her big sister in, in the way that had always let Diana know she was seen and safe.
“I think we both know it’s been more complicated than that.
But I am glad that you drew your line in the sand.
She’s divorced now right? But I do think its good she moved out, you both need some room to just like, deal with all of this shit you’ve piled around the two of you—”
“I have never, I have always been open with her.”
“What about Jay?”
“What about Jay?”
“Jay is moving back with Michaela, right? Where are they staying when they do?”
Diana felt her face grow hot and then she took another long sip of wine, letting the dry liquid’s bold flavors spread across her tongue while she caught her breath.
“I was thinking it would make sense for them to stay with me for a little while, but they could also stay here?”
Julia considered her words while also taking a long sip from her glass.
“Yeah, I did talk to Jay. Michaela wants to start a school up in Vermont, all about allyship and tolerance. Jay thinks they have to start with a community center, and would love to have a recreational campus up here be a part of it. She knows we have the space for it and we can share staff on certain resources.” Diana could see the remnants of what must have been a planning session with Jay turning in her sister’s eyes.
“Sounds amazing, I told her so. Happy to help fund the project and gain support, whatever you all need,” Diana said, hoping the conversation was moving onto the matters of business instead of those of the heart.
“Either way, you know how Maggie is going to feel about Jay staying with you.”
“How Maggie is going to feel about Jay and her wife and kids staying with me?”
“Well you know you and Jay have that thing, and while Michaela has always supported you two, I am not sure Maggie ever fully wrapped her brain around your relationship with Jay. I am not even sure I have to be honest, well not till recently.”
“Recently?” Diana asked, curious.
“Yeah, I mean, now there’s so much more understanding and language for the way we think and feel, and you well, have always had an extra relationship, as the kids would say, with Jay.
And now she’s going to be physically close again, all while you’re trying to do whatever it is you’re trying to do with Maggie, who has never been a fan. ”
“Thank you for making my problems feel solvable and for giving me insight into what the youngsters are saying today. Your last conquest give you that one?” Diana said dryly, then wondered if she’d gone too far.
She knew Julia was sensitive about these things, that she actually yearned for a woman who would stay and not treat her like an “experience”.
“Hey! She was twenty-seven, almost thirty– and wait, we aren't talking about me right now. We are talking about you and Jay and Maggie and please, you wouldn’t love me if I didn’t tell it like it is,” Julia shot back with no real bite.
Diana considered what her sister had shared for a moment.
Her relationship with Jay wasn’t really complicated, it just was.
And it hadn’t been anything more than emotional in years, what with an ocean between them.
If Michaela wasn’t threatened by it, Maggie certainly shouldn’t be.
All things considered, Maggie really didn’t have the right to be.
Diana could feel anger begin to churn inside of her.
Maggie didn’t get to be.
“Well I don’t know what to say, if she can’t see what’s right in front of her then—”
“What, after all this time you’ll just walk away, especially with her now in the same town as you?”
“Jules. It’s been three decades. Three decades of falling in love, being dumped, stealing a few hot moments in a hotel room, and long phone calls every blue moon. What the fuck is that?”
Jules smiled sadly at her and said, “I don’t know Dee, I have long told you you both are nuts. And that none of it makes sense to me. But at the end of the day it’s what you both have had. Better than nothing right?”
And those words sent a dull pain through Diana. Because the worst part was, she was right. They didn’t have nothing, but they didn’t have something, either.