16 Overcoming Mr. Darcy
16
Overcoming Mr. Darcy
Isabella
I look in the mirror, laughing as I see myself as a regal lady. Tonight is the night of the ball that Laura invited us to.
“My God, look at this…” I mumble. Laura, who is also in the bedroom getting ready with me, runs her eyes over me.
“A perfect lady,” she comments.
I analyse the pretty blue dress with a smile on my face. Considering that Laura told me at short notice, I was lucky to get this dress. London has a few shops that sell period gowns similar to the Regency ones, as is the case with this one. It has a beautiful straight cut, is made of a shimmering light-blue fabric, and has lace sleeves with sparkles applied to the embroidered flowers. But it’s not exactly seasonal. I could easily wear it to a wedding or something.
Laura chose a similar dress but red and with a slit in the skirt. Always red, I don’t know why she can’t get enough of it.
“There were sixty-seven colours for you to choose from,” I say, putting on the sparkly drop earrings.
“I like red; Pierre likes red; we all do. I don’t see why I should choose any other colour.”
I laugh, checking my bun. We did a few curls with the curling iron, but mine lasted about twenty minutes. I put on some make-up, eyeliner, eyeshadow, and light lipstick and tied my hair up in a low bun, with my bangs loose. I look nice. I don’t know if I’m worthy of being the subject of a column like Lady Whistledown’s from Bridgerton , but… pretty.
“Are we ready?” I bend down to pick up my sandals.
“Yes. But first…” Laura sits on the bed, “I have to tell you something.”
I open my mouth. “My God, you’re pregnant!”
My sister rolls her eyes. “Jeez, what is it with people? Just because I got married, every piece of news I tell has to be related to a baby?”
“I’m sorry, you’re right.” I sit down next to her. “Go on, tell me.”
I know the subject is important because I know my sister and that serious face.
“Matheus got married.”
OK, I wasn’t expecting that. “Married?”
“Yes, last weekend. Want to know the details?”
Yes. No, I’m not interested in his life anymore. Oh dear, why do I have to be so curious?
“Tell me everything.”
Laura is worried about me; that’s why she’s so careful. Even so, my sister isn’t the type to hide things from me. She tells me that she heard from one of our mum’s acquaintances that Matheus and his fiancée had suddenly decided to get married. In Las Vegas!
“Las Vegas? Are you kidding?”
“I swear. There’s a photo on Instagram and everything.”
“I didn’t even know that was possible. What about the documents?”
“I even looked it up because I was in doubt too. But yes, as long as the bride and groom communicate their country of origin, the marriage in Nevada is valid.”
I’m really surprised. “You know Matheus always criticised this kind of thing, right? He said it was cheesy and everything. I said more than once that it must be fun to be officiated by someone dressed as Elvis and he said: ‘Wow, you’re cheesy, Bella.’”
“It was an Elvis who married them.”
I laugh, but I’m not sure I find it funny. “How bizarre…” I comment.
Laura stays silent for a minute, then asks me: “How are you?”
“I’m still trying to imagine my ex in front of a fake Elvis.”
“No, Bella. I’m talking about you, about your feelings.”
I frown, staring at my sister.
“I thought you’d be sad about it. Not sad exactly, but… feeling something. What are you feeling?”
Laura’s words have a significant impact on me. And that’s because I’m not feeling anything.
My God, nothing. I don’t feel sad; I don’t feel sorry for myself; I don’t even want to look at the wedding photos, not out of spite, but because they don’t interest me. From the bottom of my heart, if Matheus has got married and is happy, I wish him well, but I don’t want to and won’t waste my time finding out about his life.
“I’m fine, Laura. Really well.” I smile. “He doesn’t cause me to feel anything anymore. I… I think I’m finally over it. I’ve turned the page.”
Laura smiles too, taking my hand. “Oh, Bella, I’m so happy. You’re coming back. Writing again, smiling.”
Yes, I really am. I’ve only just realised that.
“Is it linked to Benjamin?”
Laura’s question takes me by surprise.
“Benjamin?”
“Yes. I’ve noticed the way you look at each other. There’s something going on there, isn’t there?”
“Oh, no.” I smooth the skirts of my dress, my palms suddenly sweaty. “Ben is a friend.”
“A friend?” My sister raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure nothing’s happened?”
Damn. I hate that Sherlock Holmes way she has of picking up on the smallest signs.
“A kiss, but that’s all.”
Laura claps her hands excitedly. “Girl, but why? Have you ever looked at that man? What about the English accent?”
Yes, yes, I’ve noticed all that.
“Laura, it’s complicated. Benjamin lives far away and…”
“Where far? Absolutely nowhere is far with today’s technology.”
That’s right. With today’s technology.
“Lau, don’t push it. Seriously, I wish things were different, but they’re not.”
She tilts her neck to the side, now without smiling. “But you’re in love, aren’t you?”
I remain in silence. Am I? Just a second is all it takes for me to know the answer. Yes, of course, I am. It’s time to admit it. How could I not be? Benjamin not only came to distract me from my broken heart, but he also put it back together. It’ll break again in a week, but it’s not his fault.
It’s just… life, I guess. I was sincere two nights ago when I suggested we live in the moment. But I’m not going to pressure him. I expected Benjamin to simply throw his wits aside and follow me to the bedroom, but he didn’t do anything of the sort. However, I know him. He’s thinking about it. It’s likely. For an author who was so fond of a slow burn , life has shown me what my poor characters go through.
I got screwed, and well done to me.
“Shall we talk to the boys?” I stand up, shaking off the countless emotions taking over the left side of my chest. “They must be ready.”
“OK, but Bella?” Laura calls me, and I turn to her. “Don’t deprive yourself of happiness out of fear, OK? I understand that you’re afraid of getting involved after Matheus, but… be open. Life can surprise us.”
A surprise from life allowing me to experience love is all I want after these last few days. I walk down the corridor with Duke in my wake.
“Your Grace won’t be able to go to the ball tonight. Sorry, sweetie.”
He wags his tail and gives a low bark. As soon as I enter the room, I see Pierre concentrating on his phone and Benjamin right behind him. They both stand up as soon as they notice us.
And wow. I almost lose my breath when Benjamin approaches me, dressed in character. I’d forgotten about his lord’s clothes. After he came out of hospital and we bought new clothes, I had them washed at a dry cleaner and we kept them in storage. The look is perfect. The black jacket, the pearlescent waistcoat, and the white tie and gloves. He looks even taller, even more handsome than the first time I saw him dressed like this in hospital.
Maybe it’s because I know what’s inside those clothes. Because now I know his strong body, his broad shoulders, his narrow waist, and his six pack. And the cock just below it. Let’s not forget that I caught Benjamin masturbating, thinking about me, a few days ago and…
Wow. Just wow.
“Milady.” Benjamin bows to me and takes my hand for a gentle kiss. A kiss that gives me all the butterflies in the world in my stomach.
“You, milord, look very… hot – elegant.”
He smiles sideways. “I hear you have a thing for lords.”
I look him up and down. For a certain lord , in particular. “I love these little boots…” I mumble, making him laugh.
“You look stunning.”
Oh, dear. This man…
“Wow, we’re really in the Regency,” Laura says excitedly. “Come on, let’s take a selfie.”
“Selfie?” Benjamin asks me, whispering.
I’m surprised. Since he arrived, we’ve been so busy with the travelling dilemma that we haven’t taken any photos.
“A photo. Smile.”
Laura holds out her arm with her phone camera and the four of us smile.
“Oh, that’s great. I’ll post it and tag you. Ben, do you have Insta?”
“Benjamin doesn’t like social media.”
“Hmm, a vintage man. Got it,” my sister comments.
I just smile. She doesn’t know the half of it.
* * *
The ball takes place at Nelson House, a Georgian house near the centre of London. As soon as we cross the threshold, I realise that all eyes are on us. Or rather, the perfect, elegant lord next to me.
“Well?” I ask him, wrapped around his arm. Laura and Pierre walk away towards the waiter with a tray of champagne. “Too different?”
I imagine it is. The song played by the string quartet is Maroon 5’s latest release. The room is well lit, and not just by candles. The floral arrangements are, as Ben likes to say, stunning – white, purple, and lilac flowers. I wonder where the decorators got their inspiration. Basically, it’s a party like any other, but with dances and period costumes. The best of both worlds.
“It’s similar,” Benjamin replies. “Maybe not completely accurate, though…”
“Come on, I want a list.”
He looks around, moistening his lips. “Well, for a start, the smell. I don’t smell sweat like I used to. You know, that pleasant scent of—”
I grimace in disgust. “Ew, next item,” I interrupt him.
Benjamin laughs. “Alright, next. The music is different; the clothes… they’re similar.”
“I really thought this dress was very modern.”
Benjamin runs his eyes over me. “It’s beautiful. You look beautiful, Bella. I’ve already said that.”
I blush, but I don’t play modest. Yes, he’s already said it, but Benjamin can praise me all he wants, and I’ll believe him every time.
“There’s a zip on my dress. Doesn’t that bother you? There were no zips in your day,” I tease.
“Why on earth would I be bothered by a zip? I think it’s a brilliant invention, by the way.”
“I’ve met people who refused to watch certain films because the costumes weren’t right,” I explain. “I swear, I’m not lying.”
Benjamin shakes his head. “What insanity, and no sense of humour either.”
“Bella!” My sister comes up to us, flustered. “Do you hear that? It’s the first dance! Did you study that video I sent you?”
Oh, I didn’t. Laura sent me a quick tutorial on Regency dances, so we wouldn’t be so lost.
“I didn’t watch it, but I doubt people here know all the steps.”
“I don’t know.” Laura points to a boy on the other side of the room. “That one surpasses Mr Darcy in arrogance. Soon he will call us poor, filthy people.”
Pierre and I laugh.
“Don’t worry, we’ll show him. What’s the first dance?”
“A minuet.” That’s Benjamin speaking. “At least, if they’re following the custom of the time.”
“Can you dance the minuet?” I ask.
He looks at me sideways. “Bella, give me some credit, will you?”
As much as you like, Your Grace. As much as you like.
The four of us position ourselves on the dance floor, me with Benjamin, Laura with Pierre. It’s not as disastrous as I imagined, but I feel sorry for Ben. He’s perfect, trying to teach me the steps, turns, and jumps in harmony with the violin’s melody. It’s harder than it looks, but he doesn’t seem to mind my embarrassment, as he laughs the whole dance, just like the other couples here.
When the dance is over, Laura can’t stop laughing. “Of all of us here, only Benjamin saved himself. You can go back to the nineteenth century and you’ll manage.”
I tried my best to suppress a smirk.
“ Mon amour , I wasn’t so bad,” Pierre protests.
“My dear, you have noble blood and that is it. But think about it, at least we’re together in our lack of ability.”
He smiles and pulls her into a kiss. It’s not the first time this has happened, but next to Ben, I feel slightly uncomfortable.
“Shall we have a drink?” I suggest. “There’s punch over there.”
Benjamin nods and we move away from the couple in love. He very thoughtfully pours me some of the pink liquid that I suspect was baptised with champagne. I take a sip, feeling relief in my dry throat.
“Do they have any Scotch?” Benjamin asks.
I look round and see a waiter in the other corner of the room with what looks like a tray containing several glasses of Scotch.
“Over there,” I point discreetly.
“Excuse me, I’m just going to get a drink and I’ll be right back.”
I watch Benjamin walk away from me, and I can’t resist staring at his perfect, round arse in his tight trousers. Nothing wrong with those glutes either, but I still need to see them without clothes on. It was the only part of Benjamin that got away.
For now, I hope.
With my peripheral vision, while I’m immersed in the melody of “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift , a strong blond man approaches me, looking cheerful.
“Milady! What’s your name?”
Yeah, he must be a bit drunk.
“Isabella. Yours?”
“I’m Bryan…” He thinks. “I was given a title before the party, but I forgot. An earl, or a marquis.”
There was a guy outside holding cards with fictitious names and titles for anyone who was interested. Considering that Pierre is a descendant of a baron and Benjamin a real duke, we didn’t care much for that.
The guy comes closer to me. “Are you enjoying the dance?”
“Excuse me. Can I help you, sir?”
I look over and Benjamin is staring at the guy, his arms folded behind his back and his expression closed. Now that is a Mr Darcy. I wonder where the Scotch he went to get is.
“Hey, mate! You’ve certainly embodied the character,” the guy comments.
Benjamin doesn’t move a muscle on his handsome face. “What do you want with the lady?” he asks.
The stranger laughs. “I was going to ask the lady ,” he smiles, “to dance.”
Benjamin draws himself up, moving his arms to his sides. “Unfortunately, Miss Isabella’s card is full. All her dances are unavailable.”
The poor thing tries to answer, but the look Benjamin gives him is enough to make him give up. He walks away, giving me an amused smile.
And I have to say that I loved the little jealousy scene. Loved a lot.
“I don’t have my card filled out.” I take a sip of my drink, talking to Benjamin. “I don’t even have a card.”
“But you’re not going to dance with that scoundrel.” He frowns. “You’re going to dance with me.”
“All the dances?”
“Yes, all of them.”
Benjamin is sexy as a gentleman, but as a determined and jealous gentleman, he’s twice as sexy. I just want to throw myself on him and rip all his clothes off.
“That would be very scandalous,” I tease. “I don’t know if you know this, but it’s not polite to dance with the same lady more than once.”
“Luckily,” he takes my hand, leading us to the dance floor, “this is the twenty-first century, not the nineteenth.”
I’m still laughing when the beats of John Legend’s “All of Me” come out of the speakers.
“Apparently, this dance is from my time,” I say.
“Teach me,” Benjamin requests.
That’s what I do. I take his big hands and guide him around my waist, gluing our bodies together. John Legend continues to sing as I wrap my arms around Benjamin’s neck and guide the first movements. He’s a quick learner, and within seconds, we’re experiencing what is perhaps the most romantic moment of my entire life.
Benjamin and I dancing together at a Regency ball, or almost.
“Beautiful lyrics…” Benjamin whispers, looking at me.
“Yes, they are.”
I want to know what he’s thinking. What he’s feeling. I wonder if it’s the same as me, if this wonderful duke’s heart is racing too. If it’s beating for me.
With what he says next, I think so.
“I’m going to kiss you,” Benjamin warns. It’s not a request, nor is it a question. “But I’m still not sure about anything.”
I’m not sure either, but I don’t mind.
“OK.”
Benjamin takes his right hand from my waist and wraps it around my face, kissing my lips. A sweet kiss, full of emotion and feeling. A kiss that I would define, in one of my novels, as a true love’s kiss.
I was wrong before. This is the most romantic moment of my life. Here, with my perfect duke, our tongues dancing together just like our bodies. It doesn’t matter what era we’re from, how much time we have left, or what our futures will be like.
Here and now, I want everything from him, and want to give everything to him, just like the lyrics we’re listening to.
The evening couldn’t have been more perfect. Hours later, we travel home hand in hand in the Uber, but we don’t say anything. It’s hard to think with my heart racing like it is now. We enter the flat, Ben giving me the go-ahead.
I’m surprised when he grips my hand tighter as soon as he closes the door behind us. It’s dark, but I can see the glint in his eye. I can see the desire, which may well be a reflection of my own.
“I’ve tried to resist, but I can’t,” he says.
My heart is about to explode.
“Really?”
Benjamin nods, pressing his body to mine, my back against the corridor wall. One of his hands wraps around my waist, while the other holds my face. “Are you sure about this? Do you still think that now is enough? That sweet memories will be enough?”
No, I don’t think so. Or maybe I do. I don’t know. I haven’t thought about the goodbye. I don’t want to because it hurts. But I need him. I need Benjamin, that’s for sure, even if only for one night.
“I want this,” I reply. “I don’t want to think.”
Benjamin nuzzles our noses, whispering before finally kissing me, “Perfect. Because today, I don’t want to think either. Today, all I want is you.”