Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
GEORGIA
Iflip through my notes one last time. Everything looks to be in order. I had my replacement come and meet the kids at our morning session. With both Janice and me there, it was easier. Gail will be shadowing me for the next few weeks to ensure a smooth transition.
Sighing, I lean back in my chair and stare at the first few snowflakes drifting down in the darkness. I never minded staying late. I loved being at the ranch. It was my life.
Keyword was.
Then Grant swooped in and changed all of that. I haven’t been able to bring myself to take any of his calls or text with him. Hearing how Luke is doing is hard enough. I want to be there for him, but I don’t know how long I can.
For the first time in a long time, I’m not racing home to anyone. There’s no one making me dinner. Welcoming me home with a kiss and an ear to hear about my day. No teenager to tell me if I’m doing something uncool.
Grant and I were together for a few months, but I fell hard. And now he’s just gone.
I don’t want to go to an empty house. Most of my stuff is at his place, and being there on my own makes my sadness even worse.
Stupid hormones.
“You know it’s well past closing time, right?” Sam’s voice startles me out of my wallowing.
“Sorry. I was working on my notes from today’s session with Gail.”
“She seems like she’ll be a good fit for the kids,” Sam says.
“I agree.”
“Why don’t you put that off until morning and come have dinner with me and Joey.”
“I—” My gut reaction is to say no. That I have someone to get home to, but I really don’t want to be alone right now. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Positive. There will be plenty of food, and Max has a new book he’ll want to read to you.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Besides, Joey would not be happy if I didn’t bring you with me.”
I smile at him as I slip into my coat. It’s just like her to worry. I’ve been fielding texts from all of my friends this last week.
“I’ll follow you over,” I say, wrapping my scarf around my neck.
“No backing out.” He points a finger at me.
“I won’t.”
I slide my way into my truck and blast the heat. The first snowfalls have always been my favorite. There would be nothing stopping me from jumping on Queenie and going for a ride. The cold flakes hitting my face as we ride my favorite trails isn’t something I’ll get to feel for a while.
I try not to let my thoughts spiral back to Grant. I don’t want to be terrible company tonight, even if Joey knows everything that’s going on.
I pull up beside Sam and slide out of the car. Max is already standing at the front door, waiting for us.
“Hey, bud. Look who I brought for dinner.” Sam scoops Max up and plants a kiss on his cheek.
“Aunt Georgia. Can I read you my new book?”
Sam shakes his head. “Let’s wait until after dinner, okay?”
“Okay. It’s a good one,” he tells me.
I tickle his stomach as I walk inside. “I can’t wait.”
Joey walks over, helping me with my coat. “I thought I was going to have to come down to the barn to convince you to come for dinner. Sam did a good job.”
“You can thank me later.” He smiles at her before giving her a quick peck. “C’mon, Max. Let’s let Mommy and Aunt Georgia talk and we can play with Walter.”
“Okay.”
Max gives me a hug before running into his room with Sam following behind him.
“Something smells good in here,” I say, settling onto the kitchen chair.
“I hope you want some chili tonight.”
“Anything I don’t have to cook is fine by me,” I say.
The fireplace crackles as Joey stirs a steaming pot.
It’s amazing how quickly the warmth spreads through me.
I don’t know what Sam’s place looked like before, but it is well lived in.
Coloring pages are strewn across the kitchen counter.
Max’s books take up the coffee table, with socks and toys scattered around the floor.
A family that lives here.
Something that I won’t get.
I try to quell the tears, but it seems they’ve been on a trigger point since Grant left.
“Do you want anything to drink?” Joey asks.
That’s all it takes. I burst into tears.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Joey comes around the counter and pulls me in for a hug.
“I’m sorry,” I say over a gasp.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”
Everything that I’ve kept inside these last couple of weeks comes pouring out of me. I’m a sobbing mess, my eyes leaking all over her sweater.
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Joey rubs soothing circles on my back, but her words make more tears come.
I can’t help it. I squeeze my friend close because I need the connection. I need someone to lean on because for the first time in a long time, I feel more alone than ever.
When you’re always on your own, you get used to it. It’s why I never wanted to rely on people. Now that Grant is in my life, I got used to him being there for me.
Without him? It’s an ache I don’t wish on anyone.
My head hurts and my throat is dry by the time the tears finally subside. “Ugh, sorry. I’m not very good company right now.”
“Please.” Joey hops up to grab a tissue for me. “You know what I was like when Max’s dad walked out. It’s hard when you want a person to be someone they’re not.”
“He is a good person, Joey,” I say, dabbing at my eyes. “He went for Luke, but he still didn’t choose me. And I feel like such a baby saying it out loud, but…”
“But everyone has left you your entire life.”
“Yeah. I thought Grant was going to be the one to change that.”
“He still could,” Joey says. “Maybe Luke will adjust to life with his mom better than you think, and Grant could come back tomorrow.”
“I wish. I mean, I really do want that for Luke. I love him too.”
“I know you do.” Joey wipes the tears away from my eyes. “I know you never wanted to be a mom, but you are truly one of the kindest people I know, and I know how much you care about Luke. And his dad.”
“God. Falling in love sucks.”
“When you find the right person, sometimes it isn’t easy. It took my dad awhile to come around to the idea of me and Sam.”
“Look at the two of you now. Living together and raising Max.”
Joey smiles. It’s a soft one, but it shows how much she loves Sam and Max.
“I wouldn’t change it for a thing. This will be a bump on the road for you and Grant. Growing pains. Every relationship has them.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You know what will help this?” Joey asks.
“What?”
“A good home-cooked meal and a book about some cows.”
I laugh. “Just what the doctor ordered.”