Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
GRANT
Ihate how loud it is here. The buzz of the city used to be something that could put me to sleep in a heartbeat, but now it’s too much.
I miss the crickets and the chirping birds. The way the wind could be so loud, it rattled the windows.
It’s hard to believe it’s only been a week since we left Pinecrest. I never thought it would feel like home, but LA might as well feel like a different planet.
I glance down at my phone, not for the first time this afternoon. I haven’t talked to Georgia since we left. I’ve called and texted to no avail. She hasn’t responded. It’s hard not to be frustrated. We can’t fix things if she won’t talk to me.
I’m doing everything I can to juggle being here in LA with Luke while still doing my job with the Loggers. Thankfully offseason makes it easy. I won’t have much to do until the spring.
Maybe by then Luke will be settled here and I can get back and fix things with Georgia. I’m not sure how that’s going to work considering Luke has spent three out of the last five nights with me.
Since we got to LA, I’ve seen him more than I ever did while we were in Pinecrest. And that’s saying something, because I got the feeling he liked hanging out with me.
Unmuting the TV, I turn on a basketball game and pull up a delivery service for dinner. Since it’s only me, I can order takeout.
Cooking for one isn’t easy.
And right now, Thai sounds better than a bowl of cereal.
“Hey, Dad.”
Luke walks in the front door and drops his backpack on the floor.
“What are you doing here?”
“I thought I’d come hang out with you.”
“Luke, it’s not that I don’t want to see you, but why aren’t you at your mom’s?”
The whole reason I’m here is to make sure he adjusts to living with her. Maybe I’m a crutch for him, but this isn’t the point of me coming with him.
“She was busy, so I asked her to bring me here.”
He opens the fridge and fishes around before pulling out a soda.
“What about Randy?”
“He’s at work.”
The drink hisses as he opens it and takes a long gulp.
A headache is forming between my eyes. It seems it has taken up permanent residence there. I divorced my ex to not have problems like these. They’re only getting worse.
“Come talk to me, Luke.” I pat the couch next to me.
“Am I in trouble?”
“Of course not.” He sits in the chair opposite me. Close enough. He’s probably worried he is in trouble. “Why don’t you want to hang out at your mom’s house? Or with your friends?”
“I texted Brian and he had plans, and Rodney was going to some movie premiere with his parents.”
“What about Mark or Jamie?” I ask. “What are they up to?”
“Too busy.”
Luke is picking at a hole in his shorts, not looking at me.
“I know our place isn’t exactly the coolest, but you can always invite them over for dinner. Or to play video games.”
It may not be where he wants to be, but I’ll never make my own kid feel unwelcome because I’m too busy.
Luke doesn’t respond. He keeps staring at his feet. Until he bursts into tears. For a moment, I’m stunned into silence. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen him cry. Sure, he had the outburst when we told him Georgia was pregnant, but he’s never one to show much emotion.
I leap from my spot, banging my knee on the coffee table in the process, as I pull him up and into my arms.
“Hey. It’s okay. I’m here.”
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. I ignore the throbbing in my knee as I try to console him from whatever is troubling him.
Holy shit. Something must really be wrong.
“I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I screwed everything up.”
He cries even harder, great heaving sobs that rack his entire body.
“It’s okay, Luke. It’s okay.”
I say it over and over again, trying to calm him down—and myself. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more worried in my life. He’s never cried like this and it’s making my own panic rise.
“Do you think you can tell me what’s wrong?” I ask. “What you think you screwed up?”
“Everything,” he says, voice muffled because his face is still buried in my chest. “You and Georgia. My life. Mom’s life.”
“Wait just a minute.” I pull back, staring into his red-rimmed eyes. “Why do you think you screwed up your mom’s life?”
I start there. It’s easier than telling him what I screwed up.
“Ever since I came back, she keeps telling me how busy they are now that they’re home.”
I hate her. I have never hated someone in my entire life, but I could kill my ex for making him feel like this.
“That’s not your fault, Luke. You talked to her. She told you that you could come back and live with her.”
“I made you come back too. With everything with the baby—”
“Hey.” I grab his shoulders and make him look at me. “I need you to hear this, okay? I mean really hear me. None of this is your fault. I won’t apologize for your mom, but she’s always more concerned with the wrong things.”
“You’re not. You came down here to help even though you knew Georgia needed you.”
“And that’s my fault. You don’t have kids yet, Luke, but when you do, you’ll learn that you’ll do anything for them.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
He squeezes me again for another hug. “No, I am. I’m sorry this isn’t working out how you planned.”
“And my friends are all kind of duds now.”
“I thought you liked them?” I ask, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“I thought they were cool before but they all brag about the people they know. It’s not like that back home.”
“Isn’t LA home?” I ask.
“Not anymore.”
“Luke, what do you want?”
“Are you going to be mad if I say I want to go back to Pinecrest?”
“God, no.” I squeeze him even tighter. “I love you, Luke, and I want to do whatever makes you happy. If Pinecrest is that, I’ll do it.”
Luke pulls back, wiping his nose. “There’s no ulterior motive?”
I clap him on the shoulder. “I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t, but I have a feeling it’s going to take some work to win Georgia back.”
His lip quivers. “I’m—”
“It is not your fault, okay? I left. Not you.”
He nods and my heart breaks for him. “I want to be a big brother. I want to teach Potato how to ride horses and listen to the ridiculous things that you and Georgia talk about and hang out with my friends who don’t try and show off all the time.”
“If we leave, I can’t come back to LA with you again,” I say.
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to come back. I mean, if Mom wants me to come visit, I’ll try, but I’d rather be with you.”
“Oh, Luke. I’m so sorry.” I bring him in for another hug. It breaks my damn heart that Kari is such a terrible mom.
“I am too, Dad. I…I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Can we go home now?”
“Hell, yeah, we can.”
There is nowhere else I’d rather be than Pinecrest. I will do whatever it takes to win Georgia back. To show her I’m not leaving again.
Not without her—and my family.