21. Jay #2
The newness was both nerve-wracking and thrilling. Jay looked at Michaela as if she were hers; she knew she did.
Michaela caught her eye and her smile deepened, warm and a little shy. Michaela looked back at her as if it were a question, as if she’d be so lucky to belong to Jay. Pure irony because Jay was realizing more and more that she belonged to Michaela.
“What? Is my face a mess?” Michaela said as she wiped away nonexistent powdered sugar, instead smearing powdered sugar on the tip of her nose. Jay laughed.
“Now it is, come here.” Jay wiped the powdered sugar from her nose, licking it off her thumb, relishing the way Michaela’s eyes tracked her every movement.
“Sweet,” Jay said, “I love funnel cake.”
Michaela hummed and nodded. “I hope I never learn how to make this, because it’s over for me if I do.”
“Do you know how to make other things? Like, do you like to cook or bake? Not that we really get a chance in the suite.”
“I always liked to bake, which my family hated, but it was one of the few things I did that made Brian happy. I find it calming, all the order in baking.”
Jay nodded. “I suppose that’s why I suck at it. I do like to cook, though.”
“Well then that works out,” Michaela said, taking another bite of funnel cake.
Jay had missed this, just the two of them talking. She wanted to know everything there was to know about Michaela. Her hopes, her dreams, her desires, her fears, her past, what she wanted her future to be. Everything from her favorite flavor of ice cream to where she wanted to live one day.
“What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?” Jay said, giving in to her train of thought.
“What? Kind of a random question, but I like vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. Nothing too fancy. You?”
“Vanilla? I’d say ‘boring,’ but you did add sprinkles,” Jay said teasingly, and laughed when Michaela used one of her feet to lightly kick Jay’s thigh.
“Hey! I said I gave you the sprinkles. And anyway, mine is mint chocolate chip. But I also am partial to cookie dough.” Jay laughed as Michaela scrunched her nose.
“They’re delicious, it’s not my fault you have bad taste in ice cream. ”
“Maybe the cookie dough, but definitely not the mint chip,” Michaela said. Her face relaxed and she said, “This is nice.”
Jay wasn’t done yet; she really wanted to take Michaela on the Ferris wheel and finally, properly ask her out, even if it was cliche. The sun was hanging low in the sky, giving the entire lawn a golden tinge. She knew it would be a great view of the campus, even though it wasn’t that big.
When they finished eating and had cleaned up, Jay turned to Michaela and said, “While we digest that, before you go crazy behind the wheel again, do you want to sit on the Ferris wheel with me?” Michaela looked at Jay for a beat. Expressions Jay couldn’t quite decipher flitted across her face.
Jay was about to suggest doing something else when Michaela finally said, “Yeah, let’s do it.”
Jay thought the moment was very picturesque.
The sun cast a golden light across Michaela’s face.
The air was warm, and the visibility was great.
It was exactly the scenario Jay’d had in her head when she’d pictured this moment.
Except what she hadn’t pictured was a stoic Michaela, sitting across from her with a deer-in-the-headlights expression.
They were about half way to the top when Jay finally said, “Mickey?”
There was no response, just Michaela staring straight ahead, seemingly not even seeing Jay. “Mickey?” Jay tried again, and when there was still no response, not even a flinch, she said, “Michaela!”
That got Michaela’s attention, and her eyes focused on Jay’s. What Jay saw sent her stomach falling. “Mickey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” At that exact moment the Ferris wheel paused with a slight jolt. Michaela let out a whimper and dropped her head.
“Mickey?” Jay said gently, scooting forward and tentatively placing a hand on her trembling shoulder. “Mickey, hey, Mickey, what’s wrong?”
Nothing. Jay was getting really concerned now.
“Baby, talk to me, I can’t help if I don’t know—” Jay’s words died as Michaela finally looked up, terror in her eyes. She blinked at Jay before sliding her eyes over Jay’s shoulder and then back.
“I’m so sorry, Jay, but I’m kinda afraid of heights.”
Jay stared back at Michaela, her gut clenching with panic. “What?” she said louder than she’d meant to.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” Michaela said shakily.
Jay leaned forward, gathering Michaela in her arms. “Of course I’m not mad, oh my god, I had no idea and I didn’t even ask. Why didn’t you just tell me this was a bad idea?”
“I wanted this, I wanted this kind of date with you–it’s supposed to be so romantic,” Michaela said, and Jay buried her face in Michaela’s neck, holding her tighter.
“You silly woman, it is only romantic if no one has a fear of heights!” They were moving again, rising higher into the air. “How can I help you?” Jay said quietly, beginning to draw small circles on Michaela’s back, hoping she found it soothing.
“I'm sorry, I thought I could manage.”
“Don’t apologize! I am the one that’s sorry.”
“We were having such a good time and—”
“We are still going to have a good time.” Another lurch signaled that they were stopped again. Pulling up her head, Jay could see they were at the top. “Hey, we’re at the top, so we are on our way off this thing.”
Slowly, she made room for Michaela, who lifted her head. As soon as she looked up she buried her face in Jay’s chest.
“It is a nice view,” Michaela said.
Jay couldn’t help but laugh, and was relieved when Michaela laughed too. Some of Jay’s nervous energy eased. A thought occurred to her. “How about we slide down so we can’t see over the side?” It would be a tight fit, especially for Michaela, who was taller, but Jay thought they could make it work.
Nodding, Jay moved back while Michaela scooted down in the footwell of their car,knees up but seemingly not too cramped.
“Better?” Jay said from her seat.
Michaela looked up at her and in the smallest, questioning voice, said, “Almost.”
Jay smiled and slid back down so she straddled Michaela and pulled her back into her arms.
“You know this is still romantic, and I get to hold you like this,” Jay said.
The car lurched again, and they were finally descending.
“Do you like holding me?” Michaela asked.
“Of course I do,” Jay replied, placing a kiss on the top of Michaela's head. Her soft hair smelled of vanilla and honey.
After a beat, Michaela asked, “Are we friends?”
“I was hoping we’d be more by the time we got off this thing, but—”
“But?” Michaela asked.
“Michaela.” Jay leaned back a little, encouraged by the fact that Michaela looked back up at her. “I don’t want to only be your friend. I want to be yours.”
“I want that, too,” Michaela said, and Jay cupped Michaela’s face, leaned down, and kissed her. The kiss was warm and soft and sweet and Jay tried to reaffirm everything she would put into words: I’m yours, I wanna be with you, I want us to be something, maybe forever.
They pulled apart just as the car jerked again.
“Almost out of here,” Jay said, still cupping Michaela’s face.
“Hmmm,” Michaela hummed. “Keep distracting me.”