38. Michaela
MICHAELA
“Alright everyone, the sun is going to come up and I need to at least get some sleep before I head out to New York tomorrow!” Sasha said over the low music.
They were back in her apartment and had been all night post graduation.
Ms. Cece had helped many of the Alliance members secure permission to stay in residence halls so that they could attend.
It was something she did every year since many folks, like Michaela, were no longer in touch with their families.
It was a fact that made Michaela sad but also made her feel less alone.
“But let me just say a few things before you go,” Sasha continued.
There weren’t many people left since the party had long died down; it was almost four in the morning, and those who were still there Michaela recognized as Sasha’s friends, some other Alliance members, and of course, Iris and Davis.
The rest of the Collective had also stuck around.
They were spread out in various positions on the floor, considering Sasha's apartment had been cleared out, save for her bed and a suitcase. Michaela sat crosslegged next to Jay, who was resting a hand on her thigh. Michaela secretly loved that Jay always seemed to have to be touching her, like she couldn’t bear for them not to be if they were in the same room.
Sasha sat a little ways in front of them, in a sequined sleeveless dress that hung just to her ankles and a pair of flip-flops she had changed into.
She sported a fiery red wig that was long and wavy and complemented her electric blue eyeshadow.
Michaela thought that even after partying all night, she still looked like the queen she was.
“I have had a blast getting to know all of you in my four years here–even you, little lambs,” Sasha said, nodding towards where Jay and Michaela sat near Callie, Kevin, and Bjorn.
When she turned and nodded to Davis and Iris who were beside her, Iris on Davis’ lap, Davis said jokingly, “Hey! Don’t lump us in with the first years. ”
“They aren’t freshmen anymore,” Sasha quipped, and then turned to face Michaela and Jay once more, “You aren’t first years anymore. Hell, soon you two will be living here and then,” she said, turning back to Davis and Iris, “you two will be living here. I pray for these walls.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jay said, but Sasha just turned to her and grinned.
“It’s actually more to my point. You all in this room know that my relationship with my family can leave a lot to be desired, something so many of us have faced or are avoiding facing, and that’s okay.
That is something I learned because we have each other.
I just want you all to remember and to hold onto the fact that you have space here.
You have Ms.Cece and Ms. Edna, you have the Alliance, but you also have each other.
I threw parties here every weekend not only because I love a good booty shake and a cold beer, but because I wanted to have another space that was ours.
That was safe. Sure, pop culture has started to catch on, but our governments haven’t yet.
Bill DOMA is still in office. Look, I don’t mean to get all preachy—”
“You? Never,” one of Sasha’s friends that Michaela recognized but didn’t know said, and everyone chuckled.
“Oh shut up, you,” Sasha said, waving her hand dismissively.
“All I am saying is the hate in this world can feel super loud. I am hoping it isn’t around forever, but that’s honestly no matter if we keep holding and creating space.
So when I say I am praying for these walls, I mean that I hope those who live here after me will continue holding parties where we are all welcomed and feel safe.
Ms. Cece likes to tell me that the world is going to change, we can never know for better or worse, but change is a constant, that’s a fact.
So we can also have our own constant, and that’s us, our community, our space.
” The seriousness relaxed out of Sasha’s eyes.
“So party hard, shake those asses, and remember, Ellen is gay and so are we!”
At that everyone cheered, and those who were still holding drinks raised them in a toast.
“So I guess we are throwing parties here over the summer,” Michaela said, turning to Jay.
Jay nodded. “I mean come on, you really think Iris, Callie, and Kev were going to let us not?”
“Fair point,” Michaela agreed, and she looked around the space as if seeing it for the first time.
As if truly understanding what it provided.
They hadn’t partied anywhere else really over the school year, and she knew why.
But reflecting on it now, Michaela realized it didn’t feel like the loss she thought it would.
It felt like a gain. A space that was just theirs.
“Alright, now get out of my house or get in bed with me, I don’t care, but I need sleep,” Sasha said.
Iris climbed off of Davis’ lap and the two stood and helped Sasha to her feet.
“Oh and listen, if any of you are ever in New York, you better come visit me. Maybe we can score some Rent tickets or something!”
After a few promises to do so, Sasha began hugging people as they started to leave.
“Michaela, my little lamb,” Sasha said, enveloping Michaela into a massive hug. “You have come so far, I am so happy you found your corner love, you beautiful, beautiful girl.”
Michaela was surprised to feel the sudden prick of tears in her eyes, and she hugged Sasha back, trying to put all the things she couldn’t quite articulate into the gesture. When they pulled apart, Sasha smiled down at her, and all Michaela could say was, “Thank you.”
“Oh you hush, like I said.” Sasha turned to Jay, who stood next to Michaela—waiting, Michaela knew, for her turn for a hug. “You two make sure you visit me in New York.”
“Of course, wouldn’t dream of ever seeing that city without you,” Jay said as Sasha released Michaela fully to embrace Jay.
“Good, maybe I can take you both to some ballroom.”
When they pulled apart, Jay turned to Michaela and said “Ready?”
Michaela nodded, her mouth hot and slick with saliva. She was holding on to the idea that she would see Sasha again in New York, whenever it was that she got there.
Jay turned to Iris and Davis. “Are you two ready?” Davis shook his head. Michaela could see the redness spreading across Iris’ face and felt for her. She was so close to Sasha; they both were. It made sense they wanted to hang on to their friend a little longer.
“We are getting in bed with her,” Iris said. Sasha whirled around and made a scoffing noise, though there was no real heat behind it. Michaela thought she also wanted one last snuggle session with her friends.
“Alright, shall we go?” Jay said.
Michaela nodded and waved to Callie, indicating that they were on their way out. They would see the three of them tomorrow for lunch before everyone moved on to their summer housing arrangements.
“Let’s go, Jay, I really need to be in your arms right now,” Michaela said.
“Yeah, I need to be in yours, too.”