Chapter Eight Jake #2
“Are you crazy! That man is at home reliving every moment while trying to keep quiet as he gets himself off in the shower with his gran in the room down the hall.” Tiff elbows me with a stupid grin on her face.
“Oh far out, don’t even say that. It’s bad enough I can’t even look at Jake without blushing, so please don’t include Betty in that problem too.
” I take another mouthful of the beef stew that Betty insisted Jake drop over to me this afternoon.
I was hoping to get through the day without having to face him again, but obviously, Betty had other ideas.
“Well, you better get over your embarrassment because I have a feeling you will be seeing quite a bit of the not-so-grumpy next-door neighbor. I can feel it in my waters.” Tiff is clapping her hands together madly, like an excited child.
And in some respects, part of me thinks that’s what she is; a spirit child who has never grown up.
Which is why I love her. She always sees the good in everything and everyone.
I wish I could say the same, but life took that joy away from me a long time ago.
“Ughhh! Seriously, I don’t want to know what your waters are thinking about me.”
Tiff gasps at my words, faking shock with her hand on her heart, which just has me playfully rolling my eyes at her.
“Come on, Ashley, would it be so bad to have a little fling with Jake while he’s here? It would get you back in the saddle and I bet the sex would be amazing.” Tiff looks at me curiously.
“You know why,” I grumble.
“I know you’ve been hurt plenty of times.
First your dad left you, then your mom abandoned you by throwing herself into her career, forgetting her heartbreak and that she had a ten-year-old daughter who needed her too.
And then Jeremy left, and you’ve convinced yourself that love isn’t worth it, but you’re wrong.
” She places her hand over mine and I can sense how much she cares and is trying to help.
“Who said I’m looking for love?” I bite back harsher than I mean to.
“Me. Come on, I know you.” Now taking a more serious turn, Tiff looks at me patiently. “What are you scared of, Ashley?”
All my fears are racing through my head, and I want to keep them to myself, but I’m so tired and Tiff has this way of getting me to voice my thoughts to her, no matter what.
“That I will never find that person that will want to stay. Nobody stays. I wanted all the pipe dreams too, a husband, a family, our little slice of heaven here on Windemere, my vet clinic and a whole lot less debt than I have now. But I just don’t think it’s going to happen for me.
I know you are going to say something positive about the universe working its magic when it’s ready etcetera, but I’m just afraid to even try for that anymore. I’ve given up on that dream.”
Laying my head on the back of the couch and looking at the ceiling, I try to remind myself that my life is simple. Just me and my animals. I don’t need anyone else. Especially someone like Jake, who brings with him his own baggage and is not here to stay.
The thought of us two together is just a disaster waiting to happen, and I’m done with that in my life.
“You might have given up on that dream, but I haven’t, for you or for me. What does the old fairy tale say, one day your prince will come.” Tiff sits up straighter on the couch like she’s manifesting her good thoughts to the universe.
“Pfft. We both know we are far from being princesses and I’m definitely past believing in fairy tales.” My body is now so tired I’m struggling to stay awake.
“I mean, I’m not looking for some stuffy regal guy. I’ll take a dark prince any day of the week.” She raises her eyebrows up and down as we both giggle a little.
“Sorry, Tiff, I need to get some sleep. Last night was a lot.” I lean my head on Tiff’s shoulder. “But I do love you for trying to keep the dream alive. Somebody needs to.”
After Tiff cleans up from dinner and leaves, I lie in bed staring out the window at the sky, wondering what Jake is thinking about tonight.
And as much as I shouldn’t want it, I hope it’s about me. Because no matter how much I try, my mind is full of pesky what if questions about Jake that I just can’t seem to find magic answers to.
Damn Tiff and her reminding me to dream of a perfect life. It’s just making things messier than they already are.
I should’ve known no matter what, it was never going to stay in the woods.
As I look back on the last week since my fall, I’m surprised so much has happened in such a short amount of time.
Thank goodness there was nothing too seriously wrong with my ankle.
It was just a bad sprain that I needed to rest and keep elevated for a few days, which wasn’t easy, but I managed.
I’m now walking around in this stupid moon boot for at least another week, but I’m grateful to be mobile again.
I couldn’t have done it without Adi’s assistance in the clinic and Jake’s offer to drive me around to all the farms who needed callout visits.
Which didn’t help with trying to keep my distance from him, but I didn’t have any other choice.
But it showed Jake a different side of me, and there is nothing more attractive than walking around in cow shit with a plastic bag tied over a moon boot.
The first day seeing Jake again was awkward as hell, but we managed to get past it and have moved into the friend zone, sort of, which suits me.
We keep a physical distance from each other and don’t talk about our private lives.
Meanwhile, I’m trying so hard to bury the memory of our night in the woods.
But it hasn’t worked or stopped me from waking up with an ache between my legs, reliving the way he touched me.
Last night I almost took matters into my own hands, but I’m trying to ignore the longing, hoping it will just go away.
Making myself come while I’m imagining the dirty—very, very dirty—things I would like him to do to me is only going to make things worse.
I hear that deep, husky sex voice now in all my dreams. It’s branded into my brain.
Thankfully, the Australian vet, Beau, agreed to come to Abbey Falls for an interview.
He’s just finishing up another job and will be here at the end of next week so we can sit down and talk about the position.
I don’t believe you can get a real feel for someone over Zoom.
Call me old-school, but this is such a huge step for me, and I want to make sure I get it right.
But, the truth is, if he has a heartbeat and knows how to treat animals, at this stage, the job is his, no matter how much I tell myself I want to be picky.
If this injury taught me anything, it’s that I need to slow down a little.
I just don’t want to hire another jerk, like my ex.
I can’t believe I’m even thinking it but hopefully this Beau guy is like Jake, just without the first-impression-asshole part.
Giggling to myself at the ridiculous thought, it’s almost like I have conjured him up when Jake’s name flashes up on my phone screen.
“Hi, Jake,” I say, trying to sound light and like I’m not affected in any way by his call.
“Hi, Ash. How’s your Sunday been? Quiet, I hope.”
I feel my heart beating a little faster in my chest, and my hands get a little sweaty the moment I hear his voice.
“It has been, but I hope you haven’t jinxed me now.” Both of us laugh. “How about you, have you been working on the barn?” Seriously, what is wrong with me? We sound like a couple of sixty-year-old people having a conversation in the grocery store.
“I finally put the finishing touches to the very basic bathroom today, so my cousins can now arrive whenever they are ready. Though I think Gran’s been missing me—she’s come up with some creative excuses for me to stay in the big house until I got all the plumbing signed off.”
I love listening to the way he speaks about his grandmother. As much as he jokes around about her gossip, there is also so much love behind his words. A man who treats his grandmother like he does can’t be a bad man.
“Poor Betty, it must be lonely in that house now. I’m sure she misses Noel terribly. Lucky she has you to keep her company, oh and Rosie too, of course. How is my favorite furry friend?” Hearing him groan at my question, I can’t help but giggle. “Come on, you can admit it, you love her too.”
“Love is such a strong word.” An awkward silence falls between us.
“With Rosie, I mean, of course . . . but yeah, she’s okay, let’s just say that.
” Listening to him stumble over his words has me grinning.
“Anyway, I was calling to ask if you wanted to come over and celebrate me finishing the barn. I could really use a beer and thought maybe we could grab a meal at Grizzly’s, if you are up for it?
I can pick you up on the way into town.”
My thoughts are racing. Should I say no, because that sounds like a date of some sort, or is he just asking as a friend, because that’s what we are? Yes, friends, just friends. And he has been so kind helping me out this week, how can I say no?
“Ah, yeah, sure, but it’s my treat for all the help you have given me this week.” Yes, if I’m paying, then it’s just a friend repaying another friend for his kindness. I smack myself on the forehead, knowing that I’m clutching at straws here.
“Not a chance. I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes—does that work for you?” He sounds determined, but two can play at that game.
“Sure. See you soon.” I end the call and start to spiral on what the hell I’m going to wear.
I mean, it’s just a beer and meal with a buddy, so I could just stay in my jeans and change my shirt.
I push myself off the porch swing and hobble inside, knowing that I’m about to rummage through my wardrobe because jeans and a shirt was never going to be an option.