Chapter Eight Jake #3
Throwing a few skirts and dresses on my bed, I realize it’s been a long time since I felt the urge to dress up nicely for a man, even if he’s just a friend.
Deep down in my stomach, I have the flutters of wanting to feel more feminine.
I want to walk into a room and have a few heads turn and think I look pretty for a change.
Instead of just a few nods, waves, and chin lifts from the locals because Doc has walked into the bar.
Shit, I need to stop thinking like this. And I know a surefire way to make certain this does not end up as a date.
Ashley: Meet me at Grizzly’s in an hour.
Tiffany: Ummm, is that a request or a demand?
Ashley: It’s a be there or I might kill you because this is all your fault!
Tiffany: Oooohhh, I love a mystery. What did I do now that warrants murder?
Ashley: You and your stupid tea leaves have me freaking out right now.
Ashley: So, you are going to be my SOS and stop me from doing anything stupid.
Tiffany: What, like taking him home and finishing what you started?
Ashley: Exactly! So be there and do not, I repeat, Do Not say anything to embarrass me, especially about sex. Understood?
Tiffany: Me? I’m your best friend. You can trust me . . .
Ashley: I mean it, Tiff.
Tiffany: Best behavior. Got it. See you soon.
Ashley: I’m so going to regret this, aren’t I?
Tiffany: Absolutely . . . not . . . maybe
“Ugh.” I groan to myself as I throw the phone onto the bed, watching it sink into the pile of clothes that’s staring back at me.
“Don’t be ridiculous, just pick something casual and get on with it.
He’ll be here soon.” They say talking to yourself is the first sign of going crazy, but lecturing myself out loud I think cements that title for me.
I finally choose a dark burgundy skirt and a fitted white top that has one strap over my right shoulder.
At least the skirt will cover up most of the moon boot and it won’t look so silly.
Pulling my hair out of its braided ponytail, it falls down soft and wavy around my shoulders. I part it down the middle, tucking it behind my ears, before turning to look in the mirror, and I’m happy. Casual but feminine. Perfect.
After I finish putting on a little makeup, I find myself pacing the front room as I wait for Jake to arrive.
My phone starts ringing and I pray like hell as I pull it out that it’s not a callout emergency. Surely the universe can’t be that cruel. The first time I have had a non-date night out in years and it’s about to be over before it begins.
Damn it, it’s an unfamiliar number, which means my night is about to turn to shit.
“Hello, Doctor Alleyne speaking.” My professional voice rattles off my tongue from muscle memory.
“Ashley.”
I hear a voice that makes me freeze. My blood runs cold and I feel like I’m about to lose the contents of my stomach. I can’t speak.
“Ashley, don’t hang up, please. I just want to talk to you.”
It’s been three years since I’ve heard Jeremy’s voice. One that used to whisper to me in the dark at night to soothe me, but now it’s one that just brings pain like a punch to the gut.
“We have nothing to talk about,” I barely manage to mumble.
“I’m sorry, Ashley,” he rushes to say.
“For what!” I feel anger starting to rise in my body at his pathetic attempt at a blanket apology.
“Breaking my heart, ripping my life out from under me, putting your dick in another woman while you were still fucking me, or just for being a pathetic piece of shit.” I’m now screaming into the phone.
Silence is on the other end and as I’m about to hang up, he finally speaks.
“Yeah, all that.”
I take a deep breath to try to calm myself down but then he says the words that blow me away instead.
“I need you. I need a job, and you need a vet. I saw in the job ads. We make a good team. You wouldn’t have to do anything. I could just slot right back in.”
The evil laugh that leaves me is like a part of me is being exorcised.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I can’t help but swear because it’s what he deserves.
“You are an absolute prick who not only abandoned me but abandoned Abbey Falls and you think that either of us will forgive you for that and invite you back so easily. Go crawl back into the arms of your plastic-looking bitch, or doesn’t she want you now?
Oh, that’s it isn’t it, please tell me, not only are you jobless but she kicked you to the curb too. That would just make my day.”
My evil laugh continues as I’m back pacing my living room, as awkward as it is with a moon boot on. But my heightened emotions are running wild, and I can’t stand still.
“We broke up six months ago and the job that she helped me get when I moved here has now asked me to leave, which I think she had something to do with.”
As he pauses, I know it’s malicious, but I feel like saying the words karma’s a bitch but I’m better than that. Then his voice gets a little softer like he’s struggling.
“You were never a cruel woman when we were together. What has happened to you?”
The audacity!
“You! You happened. You stripped me raw and I had to rebuild myself with the help of some of the most caring people in this town. And you’re right, I’m not the woman you left. I’m the new and improved Ashley. A woman who will never . . . ever . . . let a man walk over the top of her again.”
Deep inside me I am crying for all the pain he caused me but, in my head, I am being my own cheerleader as I finally get the chance to stand up to him and tell him what I think of him.
“Can I come and see you, so we can talk properly, face-to-face? If you can forgive me and move on, so will the people of Abbey Falls. I virtually gave you that clinic—you owe it to me to give me another chance.”
The tone of his voice is changing and I’m done.
“All you gave me was debt after buying you out, and a workload that has almost killed me. You were happy to sign the papers the lawyers sent you and walk away to your new fancy life.” I’m done with this.
“Goodbye for the final time, Jeremy. Don’t contact me ever again.
I’m happy. I don’t need you dragging me back down again.
I’ve learned there are better men out there, better than you will ever be.
I now know that you pissing off did me a favor.
You aren’t even half the man Jake is. So, I guess I’ll say thank you for opening my eyes. Bye.”
Pulling the phone from my ear, I can hear him screaming “Who the hell is Jake?” as I push the red button with more force than is needed.
My heart is racing and my blood is pumping so hard I can feel it. Sucking in air trying to take a deep breath to calm myself is easier than it sounds.
What the actual fuck just happened?
So many thoughts are running in my head.
The fear of him turning up in Abbey Falls, anger at him accusing me of robbing him of his share in the clinic, pity that his life has brought him to the point of begging, pride in myself for sticking it to him but most of all surprise that I brought Jake into it.
And my stomach drops as I come face-to-face with the fact that I’m fooling myself if I don’t admit how much I’m wishing that this was more than dinner and that Jake was staying after his twelve months are up.
When Tiffany started talking about our dreams the other night, I was afraid to voice my true dream aloud, that I will find a man who wants to be here in Abbey Falls, and not because I ask him to.
A man who loves me for who I am and gives as much to a relationship as I do.
My mom fought so hard to keep my dad and it made no difference because he had already checked out.
I understand now that if Jeremy was off looking for someone else more exciting when he was with me, then he was never fully committed to what I thought was our shared dream.
I can feel the tears coming but I’m determined to keep them at bay.
“I will never shed another tear over that man. He has taken more than enough from me,” I say out loud.
I take a deep breath and hold it for a moment, then slowly release it, along with the shock of what just happened that had every muscle in my body so tense.
Looking down at my phone that I’m still clutching so tightly the knuckles on the fingers in my left hand are white, a message comes through from that same number.
Pressing Delete before I even open the message, I block the number.
It doesn’t mean I will be able to stop him, considering he called on a new number and caught me off guard, but it’s something.
I want to call Tiffany but it’s too late because I hear Jake’s truck coming up the driveway.
Putting my game face on, I grab my bag, walk out the front door, and hurry—as fast as I can in a moon boot—down the porch steps.
I don’t want him coming to the door. That would make it feel more like a date than it already does.
I plaster a smile on my face because I’ll be damned if I let Jeremy wreck this night for me.
As the truck pulls to a stop, I swing open the passenger door and climb in, not giving him the chance to get out of the truck and come around to open my door.
“Hey,” I greet him as I pull the seat belt across me, buckling it up and then looking across at him. His eyes are locked on me, and the smile on his face tells me that he likes what he sees. And that makes me feel better than it should, sending Jeremy’s unwanted call right to the back of my mind.
Jake wants me as much as I want him and although we both know it can’t happen, that is enough to soothe me tonight.
“Hey to you too.” He hasn’t taken his eyes off me and looks like he’s about to say something else but then thinks better of it, puts the truck in gear, and we start moving toward the front gate.
And I leave the upset of the last fifteen minutes behind me.
Tonight, I just want to relax and imagine what it would be like to be with Jake for real and let the fantasy drown out everything else.
But the reality is, that’s easier said than done.