Chapter Eighteen Ashley #2
“Everyone’s safe, and that’s all I care about.” I smile at her with relief and notice that the air around us is becoming clearer the longer we sit here talking.
“That’s not what I asked you, young lady. I asked if you were okay. It’s been a rocky few days, but you need to know he is a good boy. Please just give him a chance to fix whatever he broke.”
And I can feel through the phone how much Betty loves her family. It’s not that long ago she lost Noel, and she’s still more fragile than she lets on. I don’t know what to say without getting her hopes up, because as much as I want this to work out, there are no guarantees it will.
“I promise we’ll talk,” I reassure her.
She looks happy enough with my answer and gives me a nod before the image on the phone starts bouncing all over the place, and I can hear her muttering at Tiff.
“I’ve finished talking to their faces now. How do I make her go away?” Betty’s muffled voice is gone, and before I can hang up, Tiff’s face fills the screen.
“Proof of life,” I gulp, knowing I’m about to get an earful from her.
Tiff leans closer into the phone, and I try not to laugh as she hisses at me through gritted teeth, “You owe me! Like big-time, woman. I love Betty, and I know she’s old, but fuck me, this has been a lot.”
“I’m sorry, but you were the only one I trusted with her. I’ll bring your car back soon, okay, after I’ve gone fishing.”
“Fishing? What the hell are you talking about.” Her voice rings out as I turn the camera again to point at the boys, because I figure Tiff will enjoy the joke.
“I take it back; it was worth looking after Betty to see that image. Yeah, go fish lover boy out of the dam and then call me later.”
The camera is now on me as I blow her a kiss, and she ends the call.
“I’ve got a feeling that I’m going to enjoy meeting whoever that was.” Declan stands up off the grass and extends his hand to help me up.
“You might think that now, but maybe ask your cousins to tell you about Tiff before you decide.” I grin up at him as I take his hand, and he helps me stand.
It surprises me how much clearer the sky looks now, but the smell of smoke and wildfire will stay with us for a few days yet, I’m sure.
“You might want to move a little,” I tell Declan. He looks at me, confused, while I turn my attention back to the animals in the dam.
“Come ooonnnn!” I yell at the top of my voice and watch with delight as Herb, Daisy, Gerald, and all the other animals hear my familiar call and start rushing out of the water toward me, leaving Jake and Chase flat on their faces in the dam and Declan roaring with laughter beside me.
Turning to move back as my four-legged family starts following me up the hill toward our home, I feel a sense of calm settle over me.
“Tell him to bring my car, ducks, and chickens back once he’s showered,” I shout to Declan.
“Will do,” he calls back, and I can hear Jake and Chase carrying on as they try to get out of the water, complaining about how much they stink like shit.
I smile to myself as I lead my animals home.
Jake
“Yes, Gran,” I reply as I walk out the front door of the house, but I can hear her footsteps following closely behind me.
“I’m serious, Jake. I think I should come with you to make sure you don’t mess this up. The men in this family are useless with words. You all take after your gramps, who didn’t have one bit of swoon in his handsome body. Lucky he was good with his hands . . .”
I swirl back around to face her at the top of the stairs before she can go any further with this conversation.
“Gran.” I gently place my hands on her shoulders. “I’ve got this. And just so you know, I like to think I’ve got plenty of swoon that has gotten me this far. Now, can I go fix this?” Leaning down and kissing her on the top of her head, I pull her into a tight hug.
“Okay, but don’t come home until you do.” She huffs and walks back inside as Declan marches over the field from Windemere.
“Man, she’s going to have fun cleaning out all the chicken and duck shit that car is covered in.
I figured there was no point in you driving Ash’s car back after you showered.
Not sure you want to be smelling like shit, when being down on your knees groveling is going to be embarrassing enough.
” Declan slaps me on the shoulder and then keeps walking toward the barn.
“I need a long shower and a cold beer, because that wasn’t quite the welcome to Abbey Falls I was expecting, but it got the heart started, that’s for sure. ”
“Yeah, I think we can all agree we don’t want another day like this one anytime soon. Thank you . . . for everything, and tell Chase the same for me, will you.”
Declan just waves at me from over his shoulder as he enters the barn, and I set off on the short walk over to Windemere.
I already knew what I wanted to say to Ash.
I’d been replaying it over and over in my head on the long drive home from Sacramento.
I practiced how I would apologize, explain to her where I’ve been and why and—most importantly—that I love her deeply.
But every part of my carefully rehearsed speech was thrown out the window, and instead, I ended up blurting it all out in the middle of a crisis.
And she didn’t say it back.
No matter how many times I keep telling myself it’s because there was too much happening around us, I can’t shake the doubt that I read this situation all wrong. Maybe she just doesn’t feel the same. But no matter what happens today, I’ll wait.
I’ll wait until she forgives me.
I’ll wait until she loves me.
And I’ll wait until she’s ready to spend the rest of this life together.
Because I’m not leaving.
Stepping over the broken fence makes me chuckle.
I couldn’t get it built quick enough to put a barrier between me and her and those ridiculously named animals.
But today, I couldn’t tear this fence down fast enough to save those same annoying four-legged pests that are starting to grow on me.
Although Daisy and I still have a long way to go before we are at the friends stage.
As I approach her house, I see Ashley take a step out onto the porch wearing a long flowing dark green dress, and my thoughts automatically jump to what she’s wearing underneath. I’m a long way from finding out, but that doesn’t mean her beauty doesn’t take my breath away every time I see her.
My heart is banging against my chest, and my blood pressure is rising just like I knew it would.
In her hands she’s carrying two bottles of beer that I’ve never been more thankful for in all my life. She makes herself comfortable on her porch chair that has a blanket thrown over it, probably so we don’t sit in all the soot and ash that has been floating around in the air.
I stop myself at the top of the porch steps and just take a minute to really look at her.
I knew from the moment she stood tall and challenged me on the day we met that I was in trouble.
And as much as we have both fought it, we are here now on the edge of the cliff, and we need to decide whether we are ready to hold each other’s hand and take a leap of faith.
“Hey.” She signals for me to take a seat next to her.
“Hi,” I reply as I sit, resisting the urge to lean over and kiss her. “Thank you, you must have read my mind.” I take the ice-cold beer from her.
“Well, I figured I owed you at least one drink for rescuing my animals and saving my farm.” We clink our bottles together, and the first mouthful tastes like pure heaven.
“You don’t owe me a thing, Ash.” I’m still sitting up straight, as I just can’t seem to relax into the chair like she has.
She definitely has the upper hand here, and I don’t know where to start.
It’s like all my carefully rehearsed words have left on that wind that swept through here this afternoon.
“You’re right, I don’t, if we are talking about you leaving without a word and not one single form of contact for days, but this afternoon, what you did, putting yourself in danger for my animals, that’s something I need to say thank you for. I just need you to know how grateful I am.”
I can see the emotion in her eyes and the words she hurled at me in the middle of the crisis come back to me now.
She said her animals loved her when no one else did.
I always knew she loved animals, especially her own, but I understand now that they are more to her than that.
They have been her support when she felt she had no one.
They don’t judge her, and in return for her kindness of a home, food, and treatment for whatever ails them, they simply love her back.
It’s all she ever needed. To them she was always more than enough.
“It’s me that owes you for the hurt of being lied to. Although I never lied. I just didn’t tell you everything.” Her steely glare tells me that she doesn’t agree with me, but I push on anyway. “I know it’s a technicality, but to me it’s important. Because I promised that I would never lie to you.”
“Jake, just move on.” Ash takes another sip of her beer and stares at me.
“Okay, okay. It’s not like this is easy.” I’m trying to gather my thoughts together as they scramble around in my head.
“Oh, and ripping my heart out was? Leaving without speaking to me, not calling or texting or even sending a damn carrier pigeon to let me know you were coming back. That you had to sort your shit out. But. That. You. Were. Coming. Back! Because being abandoned by a man is not a trigger for me at all.”
Oh yeah, she’s still angry, and now that the fire has passed, it’s all coming back to the surface.