Chapter Eighteen Ashley #3
“No! I never wanted to hurt you, and if we’d had the opportunity to finish talking that night, then I’m sure things would’ve ended differently.
” I can feel myself getting annoyed by her shortness with me.
But I need to curb my frustration because I know I’m in the wrong here.
So, taking a deep breath, I try to start again.
“But I couldn’t talk to you unless it was face-to-face, and all I could think of was that I needed to sort my problems out as quickly as possible and race back to you.
In the hope that you will understand and forgive me. ”
“Why are men so dumb, seriously,” she mumbles to herself, looking out past me to the yard.
“I know I fucked this up, but all I’m asking is a chance to explain. And if at the end you want me to leave, I’ll walk away.” I nervously run my hand through my hair as I wait for her response.
Ash looks at me and sighs. I don’t know if she’s still trying to decide whether she’s prepared to give me that chance or if she’s just making me wait to punish me a bit more.
“Okay,” she says calmly, and I’m starting to think it was the latter.
“Thank you.” Agitated, I stand and walk to the post on the porch steps and lean my back against it so I can see Ash’s reaction.
“I told you how I got myself into financial trouble, but I didn’t get to explain the role Danika played in this whole mess.
You already know that when she decided to leave me, it came as a shock.
But what I didn’t tell you was that she had obviously been planning it for a while, because without me knowing, she had been slowly siphoning money out of our joint billing account and into another one in her own name.
So, when she eventually said she was leaving, I did everything I could to convince her to stay.
My desperation played right into her hands.
” Sighing, I adjust my weight onto my other foot.
“She said she needed time to clear her head and suggested we take six months apart. Since I would be staying in the house, she would need money to live off, so I agreed that she should take the cash we had in our joint savings account, and I would keep paying the bills and the mortgage while she was gone from our billing account. I was hoping like mad that she would come back to me after our time apart and that we’d finally get married.
I didn’t look after any of the home finances when we were together; Danika did all that, while I just ran my business account.
So, she did as we agreed, and when she moved out of the house, she took all our savings with her.
I had thought we would be using that money for an engagement ring, but she obviously had different plans.
” As much as I’m over Danika and everything that happened, it still hurts telling the story.
“Mhm,” is all Ash says while waiting for me to continue.
“But there were two things I didn’t know; one was that the money I thought was in the billing account was nearly all gone, and the second was the moment she got the money, she left the country and started screwing her way through Europe.
And she so kindly chose not to delete me off her social media accounts, and I know I could’ve deleted her but I was still stupid enough to hope that she’d realize her mistake and come back to me.
Instead I got to see it all play out in front of my eyes. It was her last fuck you.”
This time I wait for Ash to say something, but she continues to sit silently.
“The rest you know, about me working to try to get myself back on top, and I was almost there until I got ripped off by a customer who thought I was an easy target. And to be honest, at that time, I probably was. I was vulnerable and didn’t have the strength to fight them, but I was also too embarrassed to ask for help from Beckett. Until now.”
At that, Ashley sits up straighter in her chair, looking shocked. “You went to Beckett for help?”
“Yes, I did. For one reason and one reason alone.” I look into her eyes. “I did it for you.”
“Why?” she asks softly, and I can see some of her anger has dissipated.
“Because I love you, and I can’t lose you, Ash.
I needed to fix my past so I could have a future with you.
I wasn’t running away like you thought I was.
I had to go back to be able to move forward.
And now, with my brother’s support, he’s helped me do what I should have done back then.
I know I tease him about his finance job, but that man knows what he’s doing.
He’s what I would call a ballbreaker when it comes to money.
” And I can’t help but smile because it was actually interesting to watch Beckett in action.
“I don’t think I really appreciated how good he is at his job until now.
Being a man who works with tools in my hands, I didn’t respect that he works just as hard behind a desk.
But I do now. And although we need to work on it, I think spending a few days together has brought us closer as brothers and wanting to be more in each other’s lives.
We have talked and yelled through all the things that have pushed us apart and tried to see it from the other person’s point of view.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still things we will never agree on, but we have decided to bury them and move forward.
An unexpected benefit of my shit show, I guess and I can’t tell you how good it feels. ”
Walking back to her and sitting down, I reach for her hand and am thankful when she actually lets me hold it.
“Beckett loaned me the money, and I have cleared all my debts. I will need to pay him back over time and with interest, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.
You should have seen the way he marched into Jeff Peters’ office—the guy who refused to pay—and serve him with a notice to pay in thirty days or we would see him in court.
When Jeff started rolling off bogus reasons why he didn’t have to pay, Beckett walked up and stood over him.
He very quickly made him understand how he would make sure his legal fees would be three times more than what he owes me by dragging out the court orders, oh, and making sure that it became known around town that he was a business risk because he couldn’t pay his debts.
I just stood and watched as Jeff crumbled and agreed he would pay me within the next seven days.
Beckett knew exactly what to say to get the right result.
“I know the crypto money is gone, but we also reported that guy to the authorities for illegally trading without a financial license. At the very least it made me feel good to know that no one else will fall for his scheme the way I did.” I’m rubbing my thumb over her hand, and I can’t stop now.
“But the biggest thing I did was instruct a real estate agent to sell my house. There is nothing in Sacramento for me anymore. My life is here now, in Abbey Falls. And although the money I will get when it sells won’t be much, I was hoping to find some farmland to invest it in.
Maybe I can find a place that will take on a man who’s useless with animals but willing to learn.
Although, he’s good with his hands and handy with his tools.
Of course, all in good time, but if you hear of any place that is looking for someone, then let me know. ”
“I’ve heard my neighbor has a room in her barn that is free to rent. Apparently it’s quite comfy and the landlord is such a softy,” Ash jokingly suggests.
“Tell that to Gran, who told me when I was about to head over here that tonight I’ll be sleeping outside with Rosie if I don’t fix up my relationship with you.
I don’t think she understands that’s not a punishment for me, but still, she believes I need her help.
Which could mean anything, so I’m just warning you in advance that you may want to put me out of my misery sooner rather than later. ”
Watching Ashley’s facial expression change, I can tell she’s trying hard to not let her guard down just yet.
“So, you’re staying then?” She isn’t scared to ask this time.
“Until the day I die, and then they will bury me right up there on the hill next to Gramps under the white oak tree we used to climb as kids. I plan on becoming the next Abbey Falls handyman, working for people like my grandparents who are getting on in age and need help. Gran tells me she already has clients lined up. I know you are surprised by the fact she is meddling”—I pretend to cough twice into my hand—“helping again.” I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it, more serious now.
“This is home, Ash.” Looking out over the land and the view stretching as far as Heatherbrae, I can feel the warmth in my chest spreading.
“A place with a goat that has a cow’s name, a female cow that has a man’s name, a chatty donkey who won’t shut up, and all their furry friends. But most importantly, there is this farmer who has made me love her even when I tried my hardest not to.
“You, Ashley Alleyne, are my home. Now I just have to wait until you feel the same about me, that I’m enough for you too. Every day, I’ll ask you one question. Do you love me?” I desperately want to take her in my arms and kiss her, but I know I can’t, not yet.
“And on that magical day when you finally answer ‘Yes,’ that’s when I’ll know I’m your home too.” Standing and letting her go is hard, but it’s what I need to do. I walk to the top of the stairs and look directly back at her.
“Do you love me?” I smile at her, knowing her answer already.
Her lips don’t move, but her eyes tell me all I need to know. I nod.
“Good night, Ash, I’ll be back again tomorrow.” I walk away like I said I would.
Tomorrow is a new day.