Chapter 19 #2
My breathing is heavy as I look up at his shadow. “Turn the light on. I want to see you.”
The yellow glow of a lamp comes on beside the bed. I look around the room and see more boxes. Lots of boxes.
“Did you buy this house with money from your song?”
He climbs over top of me and kisses me instead of answering. I reach up to unbutton his shirt and slide my hands all over his chest. I can hardly control myself as I pull him down on top of me. I don’t know whether I want to fuck or be fucked as I tug his shirt off.
But he stops me, sitting up and straddling my hips. His chest rises and falls as he catches his breath. “I want to take my time with you.”
I prop myself up on my elbows and gaze up at him. “But it’s not—”
He grabs my chin, tilting my head up as he leans over to whisper, “Please. I don’t want to rush this.”
I do. It’s been too long. I’ve got to get him naked.
I’ve got to get his skin against mine, but when I try to yank off his belt, he takes both of my hands and puts them on his thighs, then he unbuttons my shirt slowly, working his way up.
He runs a hand down my bare chest to my navel and circles it with his finger.
I adjust myself underneath him to get the shirt off my arms.
This time when I undo his belt, I take my time, and he leans back and watches my hands.
I pull it through the belt loops then toss it on the floor.
He watches me pop open the snap on his jeans, drag the zipper down, and purposely rub my knuckles over the fabric against his hard-on.
He lets out a shuddering breath, meeting my eyes.
“I want you like this,” he says softly. “I want you on top of me so I can look at you.”
I sit up and drag my lips and tongue over the base of his throat and over his gold chain. I feel his arms come around me, holding me.
“I miss this. I want this all the time,” I whisper into his neck. “I want you to love me.”
He pulls back and frames my face with his hands. “I do love you.”
“Then why didn’t you say it before?”
“Why didn’t you?”
I kiss the palm of his hand, his wrist. “If I did, would we still be together?”
The way he looks down as he slides off me tells me the answer is most likely no.
“You don’t love me then,” I say. “If you did, you wouldn’t have done this.”
He grasps both my hands in his and looks right into my eyes. “I did it because I love you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
He looks like he’s trying to work up the nerve to say something else, but then he hangs his head, shaking it. “I just want you to be happy. To have everything you want.”
“But I want you.”
“I want you too.”
We take our time getting completely undressed, and then I lie beside him on the bed, part of me just wanting him inside me, right now, and the other just wanting to lay here and stare at him forever.
“I heard your song,” I whisper. “I liked it.”
He pulls me closer and shifts his hips so our hard dicks are rubbing against each other. “What did you like about it?”
“The melody, the chorus or whatever. When you said ‘something real, something wild, something breaking free.’” I swallow. “And the part about the angels.” I pause again, watching his eyes. “Was it… about me?”
He traces the wet tip of his cock up the shaft of mine. “What do you think?”
I think he’s more talented than his own father. I think he’s going to be a mega star, and maybe then I wouldn’t be enough for him.
“Did you mean it?” I whisper. “About me being your angel?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re the Bad Angel? The one that gets left behind while the other one flies away?”
He doesn’t answer. He just kisses my shoulder, up my neck.
“But if the Good Angel takes the Bad Angel by the hand and flies away with him, what then?”
He brings my face to his, and the kiss between us is heavy with a history of hatred; of jealousy, rivalry, lust, love, and pain.
Out of all the people on this godforsaken earth, it had to be him.
He had to come along and rip my heart out, running off with it like a thief in the night.
Like a Bad Angel with black wings, because they’re burned.
So why does tonight feel like the last time I’ll ever be with him again? It can’t be. This feels too good. How can he say he dumped me because he loves me?
Harvey digs around in a box beside his bed for some Vaseline.
He smears some on his hand. I get on top of him and sit up on my knees, and he gives my dick a couple of tugs and palms my balls before sliding a finger inside my hole.
My eyes squeeze shut, and I take a breath, feeling his finger twist inside me.
He stops. “You okay?”
I nod and he keeps going, giving me another finger. “You want my cock, Hollywood?”
I open my eyes and look down at him. He’s wearing that arrogant smile, but there’s affection in his eyes.
“Yes,” I whisper to him.
He’s barely got the tip of his dick in me when I think I might explode.
I sink down, my thighs tense, and Harvey slides his hands over them and to my hips.
He grips my ass when I’ve got him all the way inside me, stretching and filling me.
It feels different like this. I can almost feel his cock throbbing inside me.
I put my hands over his and look down at him.
“I miss you,” he says, closing his eyes. “I think about you all the time.”
“You don’t have to miss me.” I lean over him a little, placing my hands on either side of him. It changes the angle of his dick, and it pushes up against my prostate. A burst of pleasure goes through me, and my eyes flutter closed. I rock forward a little.
“You want it bad, don’t you?” He pinches one of my nipples.
“I want you all the time,” I whine.
I ride his dick slowly because if I did it as hard and fast as I want to this would be over in a second.
And I don’t want this to be over. I don’t want this to ever be over.
Harvey must have figured out what I am doing because he doesn’t touch my cock.
He runs his hands over my ass and up my spine and he lifts up a little to kiss me.
“I want you all the time too,” he says against my lips.
I have to slow down even more, then I just stop, settling down on his hips with his dick throbbing inside me.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I don’t want this to be over so fast.” I close my eyes. “It’s, like, it’s you. Hearing you and feeling you. It’s so much.” I let out a shaky laugh. “You’re the only one I’ve ever felt like this with.”
“Come here.” He lifts me off his dick, and the sudden withdrawal makes my insides ache.
He lays us side by side and wraps his arms around me. I wrap my arms around him.
“We’ve got all night,” he whispers into my ear.
“Do we?”
“Yes.”
“Why not all day? All week? All the time?”
He just kisses me.
We lay like that for a while, not really speaking until, somehow, I end up on my back with my knees pulled up, and he’s pushing his cock into me again.
I like this better. Him taking control and fucking me good.
But when he gets me close to coming, he stops thrusting and pulls out almost all the way.
He positions himself so he can kiss me while he’s painfully slowly sliding his cock all the way inside me again.
I reach down to grab his ass. “What are you doing?”
“Making you see stars, Hollywood.”
This is wonderful and this is excruciating all at once.
He doesn’t let either of us come for I don’t even know how long.
I get lost in being with him again, our bodies together, and the beats of his heart.
When I finally do come, my whole body trembles.
Jizz pools on my stomach, and my insides involuntarily clench around Harvey’s dick so hard I almost don’t feel him coming.
He thrusts his dick inside all the way to the base, coming inside me as deep as he can get, his teeth clenched and groaning in my ear.
He’s heavy on top of me, still inside me, for a few moments.
I don’t want him to go anywhere. I don’t want us to separate.
He gets up for a towel that he has to dig out of one of the boxes.
He gets it wet, and after he wipes us off, he lays on his side beside me.
I turn on my side to look at him. His necklace is turned the wrong way, hanging off his neck onto the covers.
I reach out to slip my fingers under the chain.
“I moved in here a few weeks ago,” he says. “I’ve been taking my time unpacking. I’ve been kind of busy.”
I move closer to him, rubbing his chest. “Busy with what?”
He’s studying me, as though he’s trying to memorize me. “Different things.”
“Why couldn’t it have always been like this?” I whisper.
He shifts his eyes away from me. “I’m not the only one here.”
My hand pauses on his chest.
“I had to find a place with enough room for me and Sunny.”
I prop up on my elbow. “Is she here?”
“She’s at a slumber party with one of her friends.”
“And you decided to go out.”
He sits up, rummaging through a drawer, then places a bag of weed, rolling papers, and a lighter on the bed. I watch him roll up the joint for a few moments.
“Did something happen with her mom?”
Harvey licks the paper to seal it and lights it up. After he takes a drag, he says, “Sunny’s not safe over there. Tamar’s using drugs again.”
“You’re using drugs.”
“This isn’t heroine. And she’s probably taking pills.” He holds out the joint to me. “I don’t do this around Sunny.”
I take the joint and take a drag. “Is Sunny living with you? Full time? Did you get guardianship?” I hand it back to him.
He puts it out in an ashtray. “I left a note by their phone with my new address. My phone number. They haven’t called or come by at all.”
I reach for his hand. “I’m sorry.”
He stares down at me, a wistful smile growing on his face. “You’re still my angel.”
I sit up, scooting closer to him. “Who were you with tonight?”
He strokes my face. “Nobody you know.”
“Are you fucking him? Or her?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“Don’t you want to know who I was with?”
“I saw you come in.”