Kailyn
Game nights can be so much fun, but they can also be chaotic, stressful, and throw us for a loop.
Tonight was my first official game with the Blaze.
I wasn’t nervous about doing my job, since I’ve done this so many times before, but I definitely found myself distracted more than once.
Every time Jake took to the ice, I couldn’t help but watch him.
He looked so good out there in his element.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he weaved his way through the New York players and commanded the ice like he owned it.
He’s always been a great player, and when I was gone, I kept up with his stats, which only proves my point.
He’s one of the top twenty-five defensemen in the league, and it shows in every move he makes.
I only had a couple minor scrapes and bumps to handle, nothing too serious.
That was until I watched Jake fall to the ice after that nasty hit.
As soon as I saw him go down, panic raced up my spine.
I’m thankful that the hit wasn’t anything more serious, though, because up until I took a look at him myself, I was a ball of nerves.
His helmet saved him from a more serious injury.
I know I can remain professional and calm in any situation thrown at me, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to be screaming and worrying about him on the inside.
I walk into the locker room to help the guys gather their things, give the team an update, and hear them all hollering at the top of their lungs at their first shutout of the season.
“All right.” The room settles as Coach addresses them, waiting to hear what he has to say. “Listen, tonight was the first game of the season. We still have plenty more where this came from. But if you play every game like you did tonight, there’s no stopping how far you can go.”
Whoops and cheers come from the guys, and the smiles on their faces fill me with a sense of joy and pride.
It’s clear that even with the new members, this team is a family, and while I wasn’t on the ice, I was still a part of this journey.
It makes me proud to be here, even with the uphill battle I have to face.
“You gave it your all on the ice tonight. You played with passion and heart, you were in sync, and you dominated New York.” Coach pulls a puck from his pocket and turns to Connor, who gets up and takes it from his hands.
“I’m now going to have your captain choose who the player of the game is tonight. ”
“Thanks, Coach,” he nods appreciatively.
“Tonight, I wish I could choose all of you, because it was a team effort that got us the first ‘W’ of many more to come. But tonight’s game puck is going to someone who really just commanded the ice and showed up when we needed him.
Unfortunately, he was knocked down on the final play, but he’s an integral piece to this team’s success and a true champion when the newbies needed someone to be there for them.
” He turns around and smiles at the door leading to the locker room, making them all turn to see Jake, who’s leaning on the wall, smiling at his teammates.
“Tonight’s game puck is going to number seventy-two, our beloved Jake Spencer.”
The team stomps their feet on the carpeted floor as they cheer for him. Jake takes a step into the room and accepts the puck, smiling at Connor.
“Thanks, Cap.” He takes a moment to breathe before he continues. “Tonight, this team was electric. It felt incredible to skate with you all, and the chemistry we have is undeniable. I’m proud to be a Blaze, and I can’t wait to see what the season brings.”
“How are you feeling, buddy? You took a pretty hard hit at the end,” Beckett asks, concern evident in his tone.
“Good as new. It’s as if nothing happened.”
There are murmurs of chatter among everyone as they all gather their things to leave for the night.
“All right, let’s get our stuff so we can get home. I’d like to shower and sleep at some point,” Brandon says as he walks over to his locker to finish changing.
I walk out of the room as the guys all finish changing and grabbing their stuff. And then I follow my brothers out of the arena.
The boys drop me off at my apartment, leaving me in peace to shower and relax after a long and exhausting day.
I finish making a cup of lavender tea and make my way to my couch, nestling into my blanket and pulling out my Kindle to get some reading done. I’m currently in the middle of a spicy cowboy romance that has me giggling and smiling. Add in an ex’s dad and have them snowed in, and I’m hooked.
I don’t realize how long I’ve been sitting on the couch, engrossed in this book, when I look at the clock and see that it’s just past two in the morning. I close my Kindle, wash my cup, and make my way to bed and get settled in for the night.
I’m just getting snuggled under the covers when I hear my phone buzz on my night stand. I turn over and grab it to see a text from an unknown number.
Unknown Number:
Hey, it’s Jake. I know I haven’t texted you in a long time, but I just wanted to say thank you for taking care of me tonight.
My heart races at reading his name.
He’s actually texting me!
Of course, I’m just glad it wasn’t anything more serious.
I see the bubbles pop up and disappear a few times, before they disappear altogether. I’m slightly disappointed he didn’t reply, but I’m also grateful he texted at all, and the hope in my chest sparks to life once again. I’m about to turn my phone off and roll over when another ping comes through.
Jake:
I don’t really know what I’m doing here.
Neither do I, honestly.
Jake:
All I really know is that I miss you.
My heart stutters at this admission. He can’t really mean what he’s saying, right? It’s just the headache talking and he’ll go back to ignoring me tomorrow.
Jake:
I’m tired of being angry and sad. But I also don’t know how to move forward.
Jake…
Jake:
I need you to know that I don’t hate you, even after everything that happened.
I just really miss you.
I miss you, too.
I know things are rocky between us, but I’m willing to put the work in to show that you can trust me again.
He’s silent for a long while. I think he may have fallen asleep, or maybe I scared him off with my last text, but then I see the bubbles pop up again.
Jake:
I hope so, because right now, that’s all I have to hold onto.
Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you
Jake:
Promise me you won’t run away from me again.
I promise, this time is different.
I’m here to stay for as long as you’ll have me.
My heart cracks at his words.
Knowing I misunderstood him back then, that I blew us up over nothing guts me. I should’ve had more trust in him, should’ve communicated better with him.
Even though we had a false start, our time apart forced me to grow and learn so much about myself. I’m not the same insecure girl who lets people get to her and walk all over her.
I know who I am, and I know what I want.
There might be days where I struggle a bit, bouts of insecurity popping up, because life doesn’t work in a linear motion, but I’ve come so far in my journey to find and love myself. I can only continue to show up and prove that I’m here to stay, and that starts by earning his trust again.