Kailyn
It’s been an intense couple of months since the season has started, and I’m glad to be home again after a series away that has been nothing but brutal. Four games in one week with a two-to-two record, and I’m ready to have a couple days off to rest and relax.
I knew this was the life I was choosing when I made my career decision.
I grew up in a hockey household. I’m used to the schedule and demands, but sometimes, a girl just needs a break and to finally see her best friend in person for the first time since the beginning of summer.
With the weather cooling down to a nice sixty-five degrees—shocking for Florida—I knew today was a perfect day to get together.
I also decided to invite Emilia and Lainey, so they can all meet in person.
Of course, me being me, I’m always early everywhere I go.
It’s something my dad instilled in us from a young age. He would always say: “early is on time and on time is late.”
So, here I am, pulling into the parking lot in my blue Nissan Sentra, excited and nervous to finally see my girls. Even though one of them is my sister, it feels surreal to have a group of girls to hang out with, be friends with, and gossip over brunch with.
Even if we’re a small group, I’m glad to have this with them.
I park my car and walk up to the front of one of my favorite brunch places, Sunrise Cravings, and follow the host as she seats me at a table, awaiting everyone else.
Sunrise Cravings is a rather large diner, filled with simple decor that stands out against the warm beige walls. It has large windows overlooking the small boardwalk that leads to a Marina where small mom and pop shops line the water. There’s a little something here for everyone that visits.
It always gives off a warm, inviting feeling, having been a part of the town for generations. In fact, my mom used to work here as a waitress before my dad came in one day and swept her off her feet.
We’ve been coming here for as long as I can remember as a family, and it’s definitely one of the places I missed most when I was gone in L.A.
The server approaches me with water glasses in hand, placing them down as she lets me know that she’ll be back when the rest of my party arrives. I’m not waiting much longer, as I see Lainey walk in and smile when she sees me.
At twenty-four years old, Lainey already accomplished so much in life. She’s currently working at Love & Lattes, the best bakery in town, located just a few doors down. I swear, if she could live in a bakery, she would.
Her love for baking shows in every treat she makes, because she puts her entire heart and soul into it. This is always what she was meant to do, and I’m so glad that she’s able to live her dreams.
It’s also a bonus that we get to be so close together again.
We’re the same height and have similar facial features, but that’s where the similarities end.
She has vibrant green eyes like our mom’s along with long, wavy golden brown hair that she has styled in a messy bun today.
She’s wearing a pastel-pink sundress with spaghetti straps that ends just at her knees, flowing at the bottom.
She has wedge sandals on her feet that she definitely borrowed from me and never returned.
I’m dressed in light-blue jeans that fit my shape, a black tank top, and a light-blue cardigan, but I can’t help that I subconsciously compare myself to her, feeling like she’s more beautiful than me.
I never resented my sister for her looks—she’s one of my favorite people—it’s just an insecurity of mine that I have worked on and continue to battle.
While I’ve made a lot of progress learning to be confident in myself and my looks, I still have work to do to love myself fully.
I still have bad days and insecure moments, especially when it comes to other women looking at me and men objectifying me.
I’m working every day to love my body and feel confident in my own skin, but years of being fat shamed has taken its toll on my self esteem.
“I missed you so much. I’m glad you’re home.” Lainey approaches the table with a huge smile on her face.
I get up as my sister hugs me, and I soak in her embrace.
She smells like sugar and pumpkin, reminding me of her delicious pumpkin cinnamon rolls that I can’t wait to have again.
I tear up a little at the memories it brings of us baking in the kitchen.
She was always coming up with new recipes and treats that she would let me taste test and help her with.
It’s part of how we bonded and what brought us so close.
“I missed you too, Lain. You have no idea.”
We break from our hug and sit down across from each other, waiting for Bellamy and Emilia.
“I love your sweater, by the way, did you get it in L.A.?”
Her comment has me feeling both elated and nervous, and I find myself pulling the ends over my hands, playing with a loose thread in the arm.
“Yeah, I got it last year. I wanted to change my wardrobe and feel more beautiful.”
Lainey reaches over and grabs both my hands, lacing our fingers together and squeezing.
“Kay, you are beautiful. I’m glad that we were able to have our heart-to-heart before you came back home and I know how you’re feeling now.
I’m proud of you for everything you’ve done, and for being you, but mostly for taking this step and embracing yourself and finding your confidence. ”
“I second that, you’re stunning, Kailyn,” I hear Emilia say as she approaches.
“I have been saying this to you for years, bitch. I’m glad to finally have back up though,” Bellamy echoes.
The girls join us at the table, making my heart warm at how much love I’m receiving.
“I appreciate you ladies more than you know.”
“Look, each of us has our own insecurity that we need to face or that holds us back. It’s how we handle it that matters.
I watch you put grown men in their place every day and be a true boss at work.
If that’s not powerful, then I don’t know what is.
” Emilia smiles at me as she takes the seat next to Lainey, and Bellamy slides in next to me.
I release Lainey’s hands, nodding at her gratefully before I lean my head on Bellamy’s shoulder, locking hands under the table.
“I missed you, babe.”
“I missed you, too.”
The waiter walks back over, breaking the moment. “Hi ladies, may I grab your drink order?”
“I say we all do mimosas, you ladies agree?” Bellamy asks.
Murmurs of agreement come from all of us, and she walks off, as we settle in and look at the menu. After a few minutes, the waitress returns with our drinks and takes our orders.
“So, Bells, I haven’t seen you in so long. I need to know all the details. How’s training going? Have you met anyone cute? What’s been going on?”
“Slow down, killer.” She laughs, making me smile at her.
“Training is good, just getting ready for my next competition in a couple months. And no, there’s no one special, just me and my boring self, you know me.
Now enough deflecting, I’m not letting you off the hook.
I need to know all about you and you-know-who. ”
“You mean her and Jake?”
Shocked by Lainey’s sudden question, I turn to look toward her. “What?”
“You know, you and Jake,” she deadpans like it’s the most obvious thing. “Like, how are things between you two after you broke up, left, and then showed back up.”
“You knew?!” I practically shout, drawing attention from the tables around us.
“Obviously, it wasn’t that hard to put the pieces together.
When you were here, he was always checking you out when he thought no one was looking.
He looked at you like he was obsessed with you, like he loved you, and there was no one else for him.
Plus, after you left for L.A., he was so depressed and shaken up. He was never the same after.”
“I didn’t realize it was that obvious.”
“I mean, it wasn’t so much that you both were obvious, more so that I looked up to you a lot growing up. So when I saw you happy and smiling a lot more those last couple years, I wanted to know why. I also saw the two of you sneaking in and out in the middle of the night a couple of times.”
My cheeks start to heat up with a blush.
I hadn’t realized she noticed us sneaking in and out.
And I’m left both speechless and in awe of my sister.
I always thought the only person who knew about Jake and I was Bellamy, but after all these years and knowing that I hurt him, she still looks up to me and is proud of the person I became. It’s also one less person I lied to.
“I’m sorry I never told you the truth.”
“Don’t be. I was kind of upset you didn’t tell anyone, but I also knew that you must’ve had a reason, and after our heart-to-heart, I know you did what you thought was best. You’re here now, though, and you’re trying. That’s what matters.”
I smile gratefully at her, a weight lifting from my shoulders at her words.
“I still need more details from you. Don’t hold out on me.” Bellamy is practically bouncing in her seat with excitement.
I can’t help but let out a small laugh at her reaction, which sets the rest of the girls off and we’re all laughing together.
“Okay, okay.”
I take a sip of my drink to calm myself before I tell them everything.
I fill them in on our encounter at Entourage, how tense and uncomfortable things became between us.
How we finally got to talk again during his physical and we both learned the truth about everything.
It feels good to share things with them, and seeing their faces as I talk reassures me that I have people in my corner who I can confide in.
No more running.
No more hiding.
I have my people here, and I’m fighting for myself and for him.
“Wait, so he brought you to his hotel room, and you guys didn’t fuck? Boo, I'm disappointed.” I roll my eyes at Bellamy’s pointed stare.
“Bells, I’m giving him space right now. I have to earn his trust and forgiveness, and jumping into bed is not going to solve anything.”