Kailyn #2
“I know, you’re right, but sex is always the best part. Trust me.”
“Oh, I know how you feel about sex. You’ve practically told me about every partner you’ve had since you lost your virginity at fifteen.”
“Damn, you go girl.” Emilia raises her hand and high-fives Bellamy across the table.
The waiter comes back and drops off our food, which we all happily dive into.
“I’m not ready to tie myself down just yet. Plus, who said guys were the only ones who were allowed to have fun?”
“I agree with Bellamy. In our job, the guys all boast about how they have puck bunnies lined up and waiting for a chance to be with them. It's normal for them. Why can’t casual and fun sex be normal for us?” Emilia adds in.
“Okay, I really like her now.” Bellamy cheers.
“I knew you two would get along.” The smile on my face grows even wider at knowing I was right.
“I think you’re doing the right thing here, Kay. That boy is just as crazy about you now as he was in high school. You just have to continue to build back that trust with each other. Keep trying, and don’t give up on yourself.” Lainey’s words strike a cord in my chest.
Don’t give up on yourself.
I never thought about it that way, but suddenly, everything clicks into place.
When I ended things with Jake, I let my insecurities dictate my actions, but in reality, I gave up on myself. I told myself that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough. He never told me those things. He never once made me feel anything less than beautiful and desired.
I gave up on myself, and in turn, gave up on him.
Never again. I’ll keep fighting, keep trying, and show up even when it feels impossible.
Because that’s what love is really about.
It’s messy and chaotic, but it’s also so beautiful and tender.
With Jake, loving him is effortless, it’s like breathing.
He’s my forever, and I know I’m his, even if it takes time to earn his forgiveness and win his heart back.
“Thanks. Anyway, if y’all are done grilling me, can someone else tell me how their life is going? Please.”
“I wish I had something exciting to say, but I’m just a boring mess,” Emilia starts.
“I mean, starting a new job and being a badass isn’t boring.” I wink at her.
“Yes, but I have no gossip to spill. I’m trying to keep my head down and do my job right now. I don’t need any distractions.”
“So, what’s the deal with you and Beckett then?” I eye her mischievously.
“What do you mean?” she asks, confusion written on her face.
“I noticed there was a moment when he couldn’t take his eyes off of you during the away series.”
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, but there’s nothing happening between us. He’s not my type anyway.” I’m almost inclined to believe her words but the way that her bottom lip quivers is a dead giveaway that she’s lying about something.
“Boo. In the words of Beckett, ‘You’re ruining my fantasies,’” I tease.
“Sorry to disappoint, babe.” She smiles before we all turn back to our food, finishing up as the waitress comes back and clears our plates from the table.
“Since we’re all spilling tea, I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Kay.” Lainey fidgets with the hem of her dress, but her eyes remain locked on mine.
“You know you can tell me anything,” I reassure her, placing my hand over hers.
“Well, I wanted to be sure before I said anything, especially with my past relationships. I actually met a guy. We’ve only been dating about three months, so it’s still new, but I really like him.”
“Lain, I’m so happy for you! When do we get to meet him?”
“Well, seeing as you’re the first people I’ve told, I was hoping you’d help me talk to Mom and Dad about it.”
“Wait, why do you need help?”
“So, he might be a tad bit older than me,” Lainey blushes as she hides her face behind her hands.
“Ohh, an age-gap romance, tell me more,” Bellamy teases.
“How much older is he?” I ask.
“He’s about to turn thirty-two in a few weeks.”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that.
“How did you meet him?” Emilia jumps in.
Lainey hesitates before she answers. “I work down the street at the bakery, Love & Lattes, as the pastry chef. He came in one day while I was working, walked up to the counter and started chatting with me. Next thing I knew, he was there almost every day for the rest of the week. By the time the week was up, he was asking me on a date and I, of course, said yes. It wasn’t until the date that he told me how old he was. ”
“Did it change how you felt about him?” I finally ask.
“Yes and no. When he showed up to the café every morning, I had butterflies in my stomach. He was funny and sweet. He made me feel special. Guys my age don’t really know how to treat girls, or if they do, I haven’t been so lucky.
Of course, I was shocked when he told me, and I thought about how our family would react,” she pauses and side-eyes me, knowing I understand exactly what she means, “But it didn’t change the fact that I really like him and I’m happy when I’m with him. ”
“Well, I’m glad you felt like you could tell us, Lain. I’m also so happy that he makes you feel special. That’s all we want for you. And if he makes you feel that way, age shouldn’t matter.”
“Thanks, Kay.” I can tell there’s more she wants to ask, so I give her a minute to collect herself.
“Could I ask you to keep it a secret until at least after his birthday in December? He has plans to take me away on a weekend trip, and I really want to enjoy our time before I make him face our family in person.”
I reach over the table and squeeze her hand, smiling softly. “Of course. You enjoy your time with him. I want to meet him before the family does so I can stand behind you, but I’m always in your corner.”
“You’re the best sister ever.”
“I’m your only sister.”
“That’s true.” Laughter erupts from the table, and I can’t wipe the smile off my face at how happy I truly am to be surrounded by these amazing girls.