Chapter Sixteen #2
I hold her against me, sliding my arms around her while I rest my cheek against the top of her head and breathe in the soft floral scent of her hair.
She smells fucking incredible.
And once again, my cock twitches like a damn traitor.
Down boy!
“I’m sorry I’m late. We had a patient go into cardiac arrest, and I couldn’t leave until he was stable,” she says, nuzzling further into my chest.
“You were late? I hadn’t noticed,” I reply lightly, trying to sound casual so she doesn’t realize how close I was to completely losing my shit waiting for her.
She pulls back slightly, but I keep my arms wrapped around her. I’m not ready to let her go yet. Having her this close makes me feel warm, grounded… like I’m finally home after being lost for years, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to walk away from that feeling ever again.
“So what are we doing tonight?” she asks.
I lift my hand and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, my fingers brushing softly against her cheek. “Well, I was thinking we could go for a walk and maybe sit down somewhere and catch up.”
“Sounds good to me. Do you still have that old car? Bessy, I think her name was?” she asks with a smile.
I chuckle and shake my head. “Oh, good old Bessy. She was a beauty. Nah, now, my sweet lady, I have a beast. Wait until you meet Swartzy.”
She raises an eyebrow, fighting a smirk. “Swartzy?”
“Yeah, named after Schwarzenegger. My car is like the Terminator. It destroys every other car on the road and leaves them eating dust.”
She bites down on her bottom lip, clearly trying not to laugh.
Fuck, I’d love to bite that lip myself.
“Seriously? That’s what you named your car?”
Shrugging, I grin. “Nah, I just made that shit up on the spot. I probably should name my car, though. Mostly, I call her my baby.”
Throwing her head back, she laughs loudly. “You really are strange. Come on then, show me your baby.”
Reluctantly, I release her and turn toward my Lexus. She walks beside me, and every instinct in me wants to take her hand, but I force myself not to push too hard, too fast.
“So how was work? Did the flatliner survive?”
She laughs softly. “Yeah, he did. For now, anyway. The rest of the day was fine too. What did you do today?”
I inhale slowly…
Thought about you every second and panicked over what to wear so you’d think I looked irresistible.
“Oh, nothing much. Just relaxed after last night,” I lie while unlocking the car.
“Holy shit, Caleb. This is your car?”
I laugh and glance at her. “What? I can’t have a nice car?”
“Umm… of course you can. But I wasn’t expecting this.” She gestures toward the Lexus with wide eyes.
Walking around, I open the passenger door for her, and she slides down into the low seat while I head around to the driver’s side. The second I climb in, I catch her running her fingertips over the interior like she’s touching something precious.
Christ. I want her touching me like that.
“So, have you eaten?” I ask.
She nods and looks across at me. “Yeah, I had my dinner break at five.”
“Right, so you just want to go for a walk?”
She nods again, and I start the engine before heading toward the river.
The drive is mostly quiet, but the silence between us isn’t empty. The attraction pulses thickly through the car, almost tangible. I don’t know what she wants from this or where she sees it going, but I know one thing for certain…
If I don’t at least try to kiss her tonight, I’m going to hate myself for it.
I pull into the riverside car park and shut off the engine. The tension hanging between us is so thick it feels suffocating. Part awkwardness, part pure sexual frustration. Like neither of us knows what to say, but both of us are thinking about tearing each other’s clothes off.
Honestly, I have no fucking idea how to handle it.
I climb out of the car and walk around to open her door, but she’s already stepping out before I reach her.
Exhaling quietly, I place my hand against the small of her back as I catch up beside her, and she jolts beneath my touch as though I’ve shocked her. I drop my hand instantly and start walking toward the footpath running alongside the river. She falls into step beside me, matching my pace.
“So you wanted to talk? What’s with all the awkward silence?” she asks suddenly, breaking the weird tension between us.
I chuckle and glance across at her while she studies the pavement beneath her feet.
“I do want to talk. I just don’t know what you want to talk about.”
She looks up at me. “I guess things between us were left in a pretty bad place. I’ve missed you, and I know you’ve missed me too, judging by all the phone calls over the last six years—”
“Why didn’t you answer?” I interrupt before I can stop myself.
Her gaze drops straight back to the ground. “What was the point, Caleb? It doesn’t change anything. I don’t want a serious relationship, and you do. I can’t trust us together, and I definitely can’t trust you with all the women who are going to throw themselves at you from now on.”
“Indi, I know you don’t want a relationship.
I get that. And I think it’s crazy to believe we’d end up like your parents, but I understand why you’re scared.
” I stop walking and turn fully toward her.
“As for other women… Indi, you’re the only woman in the world I want.
If I were with you, my entire world would revolve around you.
Not even six years apart has changed the way I feel about you.
” She keeps staring at the ground. “Look, I don’t want to scare you off.
I only just got you back in my life, and I’m not risking losing you again.
I would never hurt you on purpose. You mean too much to me. ”
She shakes her head slowly. “I can’t be who you want me to be, Caleb. I’m not built for relationships. And if I do get involved with someone, it’s never serious. Whatever you want from me… I can’t give it to you.”
“Then what about friendship?” I ask quietly. “Can you give me that?”
Finally, she looks up at me, swallowing hard. “I can try.” Then she turns and resumes walking.
I blink before a small smile tugs at my mouth, and I move to catch up beside her. “When you left… why didn’t you say goodbye?”
She exhales shakily. “I don’t want to talk about that, Caleb. It was a horrible time in my life.”
Stopping again, I reach for her hand to halt her. She huffs softly before turning back toward me. Taking both her hands in mine, I squeeze gently.
“I know, Indi. I know how horrible it was. I was there too. Talk to me. Tell me what happened and let me make us right again.”
Her fingers tighten around mine before she offers me a small, sad smile.
“We’re doing okay as we are. We don’t need to drag up old memories tonight.
Let’s enjoy this, okay?” She turns away, slipping one hand free while keeping the other tangled with mine.
As she starts walking again, I expect her to let go completely.
Instead, her fingers tighten and lace through mine.
A grin spreads slowly across my face as I walk beside her, holding her hand, thinking that maybe… just maybe… I might still get that kiss after all.