Chapter Seventeen
Caleb
We walk a little farther along the river until we find a small grassy patch beside the water and settle down together. The conversation slowly shifts away from all the heavy emotional stuff into something lighter, easier, more familiar.
I’m telling her about Annie and Aston and the absolute shitstorm that erupted after Colt found out about them.
“I still can’t believe he said he’d castrate him,” Indi says, laughing softly. “I mean, Colt was always so nice to me. I can’t imagine him being that overbearing.”
I throw my head back and laugh properly, a full belly laugh that echoes across the quiet riverbank. “Seriously? Have you met Colt? He’s the biggest tyrant I’ve ever known.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Really? I always thought he was sweet. I am not family. Perhaps he is stricter with people he loves.”
I hum in agreement while staring out over the river. Night has settled around us now, the moonlight casting soft shades of blue and purple across the still water. The entire place is beautiful.
But nowhere near as beautiful as her.
I glance across at Indi, the nearby lamp casting a soft glow across her face, and my chest tightens painfully.
Those big blue doe eyes.
That tiny button nose.
Those fucking dimples that have ruined me since I was a teenager.
She’s even more beautiful than I remember, and sitting here beside her feels so right that I honestly can’t imagine anywhere else I’d rather be.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asks, a smirk tugging at her lips.
I blink and realize I’ve been openly gawking at her like an idiot.
Jesus Christ, I’m such a twat.
“Sorry. I can’t help it,” I admit honestly as I shift closer until our arms brush together.
She exhales softly and turns her gaze back toward the river. “I’m still the same person, Caleb. I haven’t changed.”
My eyes drift down her body before lifting back to her face, and I shake my head slowly. “You’ve definitely changed, Indi. Trust me.”
She glances sideways at me. “In a good way, I hope?”
“In a very good way.”
Her cheeks pink slightly. “Thank you.”
“It’s the truth.”
“No, I mean thank you for this… for tonight.” Her voice softens. “I got so caught up in the pain between us that I forgot how much fun we used to have together. So thank you for not making tonight all about trying to push us back into being a couple. Thank you for understanding what I need.”
The words hit like a knife, but I force a smile anyway.
“I’ll do anything to see you happy, Indi.
” Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pull her gently against my side.
She curls into me easily, resting her hand on my knee.
For someone who only wants friendship, she’s sending me a whole lot of mixed signals.
“Well, I’m having fun with you, Caleb,” she says quietly. “I’m glad we ran into each other again. I think it was the only thing that could’ve reminded me how awesome you are.”
I grin. “Yeah, I am pretty awesome, aren’t I?”
Laughing, she slaps my knee.
I chuckle and lean down, brushing my lips softly against the top of her head.
“You know what?” she asks.
“What?”
“I think you bringing Annie into the hospital was an omen.”
I groan dramatically. “Oh God, you still believe in all that fate and omen bullshit?”
She looks up at me with a smile that nearly knocks the breath from my lungs. “I do. And I think you came back into my life for a reason. Maybe to help me heal. Or maybe just to remind me what it feels like to have someone good around again. It’s nice knowing you still care about me.”
My heart starts hammering hard enough to hurt. I know this friendship thing is what she wants, but sitting here holding her while she looks at me like that is making it impossible not to want more.
I have to try.
“Indi… what do you think about us dating?”
She stiffens slightly against me, and I rush to keep talking before she can panic.
“Nothing serious. No pressure. And if it ever starts feeling too serious, we back off. It’s just…
” I glance down at her tucked against my side, “… having you here in my arms like this feels right. I really think we could be good together. We don’t have to start planning marriage and a million kids or anything—”
“What are you asking, Caleb?” she interrupts softly.
I swallow hard. “I’m asking if maybe I could kiss you without you worrying it means I’m trying to—”
“Yes.”
I stop and stare at her.
“Yes?”
A small nervous smile crosses her face. “Caleb, I know there’s something between us, and I know pretending we’re only friends is probably going to be difficult. But if we keep it simple… if it’s just a kiss with no expectations … then yes, I want you to kiss me.”
For a second, I genuinely forget how to function.
My pulse pounds wildly through my body while I stare into her sparkling blue eyes. She’s giving me permission. After six years of wanting her, dreaming about her, missing her… she’s asking me to kiss her. And somehow my body has forgotten how to move.
She giggles softly before lifting her hand to my cheek, her fingertips brushing gently across my skin. “Kissing you always felt right, Caleb,” she whispers. “But don’t mistake it for something bigger.”
I nod slowly, my eyes dropping to her lips. “Just a kiss,” I murmur.
Then she leans in and presses her mouth to mine, and the second our lips touch, something explodes inside of me. Every bit of air vanishes from my lungs as her softness melts against me, and suddenly, nothing else exists except Indi.
Her lips.
Her warmth.
Her taste.
Her.
Fireworks might as well be exploding across the London skyline because that’s exactly what this feels like inside my head.
I part my lips, and she slides her tongue against mine, soft and hesitant at first before the kiss deepens into something hotter and hungrier.
My entire body reacts instantly.
If I were standing, my knees would have fucking buckled.
I shift closer and cup her cheek before sliding my hand back into her hair, pulling her mouth harder against mine.
The kiss deepens fast, years of longing pouring into it all at once.
Her breathing turns uneven against me, and mine is no better.
We’re both practically gasping through our noses while kissing like we’re starving for each other.
Which, honestly, we probably are.
I slide both hands into her hair, holding her close, terrified she’s going to stop this if I give her half a chance.
Then she shifts suddenly.
For one horrible second, I think she’s pulling away.
Instead, she swings her leg over mine and straddles my lap.
My eyes fly open.
She smirks against my mouth before cupping my face in both hands and kissing me harder, more confidently this time.
Holy fucking hell.
I run my hands up her back, dragging her flush against my chest while our tongues move together slowly and deeply beneath the cool evening breeze.
My cock is painfully hard now.
Having nothing but layers of clothing separating our bodies feels like torture. Every little movement of Indi’s hips against me sends heat roaring through my veins, and all I can think about is rolling her beneath me and grinding against her until we’re both completely wrecked.
But I don’t.
Because this is only supposed to be a kiss.
And because we’re in public.
Her hips shift experimentally against me, and friction drags across my aching cock. A rough groan escapes my throat before I can stop it.
She immediately giggles against my mouth, and Christ, if she does that again, I’m going to lose every scrap of self-control I have left. Slowly, she softens the kiss and stills her hips before finally pulling back, both of us breathing hard.
She rests her forehead against mine, and I stare into her eyes while trying desperately to drag oxygen back into my lungs.
But looking at her only steals my breath all over again.
She’s going to break me.
I know that much for certain.
Then again, my heart’s already been broken because of her once before, so how much more damage can she really do?
She smiles softly and pulls her forehead away from mine before brushing her thumb across my bottom lip.
“Lip gloss,” she murmurs.
I smirk. “Pink suits me, or so I’ve been told.”
“Yeah, it does,” she replies with a quiet laugh as she leans back slightly, finally giving my cock some relief from the pressure of her body grinding against it.
“That was some kiss,” I say, still struggling to catch my breath.
Her smile softens. “Yeah. We were always really good at that. I just wanted to know what it would feel like again.”
“And?” I ask. “Was it what you expected?”
She hums thoughtfully. “Hmm… mediocre at best.” The grin that spreads across her face melts me completely.
Clutching dramatically at my chest, I feign heartbreak while she giggles and swings her leg off my lap, sitting back down beside me on the grass.
“Sorry, I couldn’t meet your expectations. Maybe I should try harder next time.”
Her gaze drifts downward toward the obvious bulge in my jeans. “I think if you try any harder, you might explode.”
I grin lazily. “Sometimes explosions are a good thing.”
“Not when you still have your pants on. That could get messy.”
Jesus Christ.
“Well, I could always take my pants off.”
I move my hand toward the button on my jeans jokingly, and she immediately laughs, grabbing my hands before I can undo anything. Not that I was seriously going to flash her in the middle of a public riverbank.
“Okay,” she says through a laugh, still holding my hands. “I think we’ve established that kissing is good for us. Let’s not get carried away with the things that usually happen after kissing, okay?”
I nod slowly. “Take things slow. Got it.”
“Not slow, Caleb.” Her expression shifts to more serious. “I’m not going to suddenly change my mind about relationships just because you want to sleep with me.”
I furrow my brows. “Hey, I don’t just want to sleep with you, Indi. You mean way too much to me for that.”
She blinks at me in confusion. “I’m too good to sleep with now? Because your cock is telling me something completely different at the moment.”