Chapter Thirty-Six #2
The next day, Dad took us all to see a lawyer to explore our options.
He explained that without a DNA test, we couldn’t prove anything, and that it was the best course of action for us right now.
He was also very clear that I needed to take my time getting to know Loretta Banks and not get my hopes up, because she was more than likely someone trying to extort money by playing with my emotions.
But when we got home, a letter was waiting for me.
It was from Loretta.
Inside, it stated that an appointment had already been set up at Oxfordshire Hospital for the next morning at ten-thirty for a DNA test.
And that’s where we’re heading now.
The car is packed, Mum and Dad in the front, while Ella, Aston, and I sit in the back.
Ella hasn’t said much since she found out yesterday, and the silence around her feels heavier than anything else in the car.
Everything is happening so fast, I haven’t had time to sit down and figure out how I actually feel about any of it.
If she is my real mum… do I even want anything to do with her?
She walked away from me.
So why shouldn’t I do the same?
The thoughts won’t stop circling, one crashing into the next, until Aston’s hand tightens around mine, grounding me. I glance up at him, and he mouths, ‘You okay?’ I nod, forcing a small smile before leaning in to kiss him quickly.
The car rolls to a stop outside the hospital, and we all climb out.
“Good luck,” Ella says quietly, before drifting over to stand beside Dad.
I watch her go.
I think she’s avoiding me.
“C’mon, Annie, let’s get this over with,” Mum says, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.
I grab Aston’s hand, and the three of us walk toward the entrance together.
The closer we get, the worse it becomes.
Each step feels heavier than the last, my nerves tightening until my heart is thudding so loudly I can hear it in my ears.
Heat floods my body, my skin prickling as sweat gathers at the back of my neck, and I’m almost certain my hands are shaking.
Then we turn the corner.
And I see her.
Christ! She’s wearing tight pants that cling in all the wrong places, her top just as tight, leaving nothing to the imagination. My stomach twists as I take her in, a sharp, instinctive recoil I can’t quite control.
At least she isn’t wearing leopard print.
Her eyes lock onto mine, and her face lights up. Before I can react, she’s already moving toward me.
“Annie,” she calls, her voice loud and gravelly, and my entire body tenses.
Mum steps in front of me before Loretta can reach me, blocking her path, and I grip Aston’s hand so tightly it has to hurt.
“I think we need to talk a bit more before you start getting physical with my daughter, don’t you?” Mum says, her tone sharp.
Dad winces.
So does Loretta.
“Okay, I get it,” Loretta replies, lifting her hands slightly. “You think I’ve come here to take your daughter away from you, but I’m not, Deliah. I just want to know my daughter.”
Something in her tone makes my chest ease just a fraction.
“She wants to know you too, Loretta,” Mum says, though her voice stays firm. “But let me make one thing crystal clear… if this test comes back and you are not related to my daughter, then you do not come near us again. Annie doesn’t need people tormenting her about her past.”
Loretta nods slowly, her hands still raised. “Okay. But I can tell just by looking at her that she’s mine, and you can too, Deliah. That’s why you’re so scared.”
Mum stiffens immediately, shaking her head.
“Right, ladies,” Dad cuts in, his voice calm but firm. “This is an anxious time for all of us. Let’s take a breath and remember we all want what’s best for Annie.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Loretta says, her gaze flicking back to me, her smile stretching wide enough to show her rotted teeth.
Goddamn! My stomach churns.
“Well, we have too,” Mum replies, folding her arms tightly across her chest.
“I know,” Loretta says softly. “I’ve watched her grow up… from a tiny little thing into the superstar she is now. I’m so proud of you, honey.”
A cold prickle runs down my spine, and I ask before I can stop myself, “How would you even know that? And if you’ve known I was yours all along, why didn’t you come sooner?” The question hangs, pressing in on me from all sides. “Why now?”
Her smile falters, her head shaking slightly. “I wasn’t in a good place, Annie. Let’s just leave it at that, yeah?”
Something inside me snaps. “I’ve been waiting my entire life to know what happened,” I say, my voice tighter than I expect. “You could have come sooner. You could have told me everything. But you didn’t. You waited until now?”
Loretta exhales slowly, her expression shifting.
“I was a drug addict,” she admits. “I wasn’t sober, and when I saw you going down the same path…
it nearly killed me. Seeing you heading where I’d been, where Colt had been…
” She swallows. “When I heard you were better, doing well, I told myself I had to get my shit together. If my daughter could do it, then so could I.”
My chest tightens as she continues, “So I got clean. I stayed clean. And then I came looking for you. I waited until you were home from your tour, because I didn’t want to mess anything up for you.
” Her voice softens. “I never wanted to give you up, Annie. But I had to. You deserved better than what I could give you. And you got that. You got a family that gave you everything I couldn’t. ”
Silence settles over us.
“Where’s my birth dad?” I ask quietly.
She exhales. “I don’t know.”
“Who is he?”
Her gaze drops. “I don’t know.”
Mum scoffs under her breath, a sharp, humorless sound, followed by, “Of course you don’t.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, my eyes snapping to Mum.
“It means there were too many men to choose from,” Mum says bluntly.
I look back at Loretta.
Her expression tells me everything I need to know.
“So I’m never going to know who my biological father is?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
I nod slowly, tightening my grip on Aston’s hand.
“Okay,” Dad says gently, stepping in. “That’s enough for today. Let’s not overload Annie.”
He guides Mum toward the chairs, and I follow with Aston, needing the solid reassurance of his presence beside me. Ella stays near the wall, her back pressed against it, her arms wrapped around herself.
Loretta paces the hallway, her perfume thick in the air, clinging to everything.
I don’t know what to think about her.
She seems… genuine.
But she’s also a self-confessed junkie.
And I can’t stop the thought from creeping in.
Was she using when she was pregnant with me?
I push it away before it can take hold.
“Loretta Banks?” a nurse calls.
Loretta looks at me, smiling again, then follows the nurse inside.
We’re left waiting. Ella still hasn’t moved.
Dad is quietly talking to Mum, trying to calm her down, while Aston and I sit side by side in silence.
“How are you doing?” he murmurs. “That was a lot.”
I nod slowly. “Yeah… it was. But at least I’m getting answers.”
Even if I don’t like them.
“There’s so much more I want to ask her,” I continue, my voice quieter now. “But it’ll have to wait. I’m not getting my hopes up. I don’t want my heart broken if she isn’t my mum…” I pause, exhaling. “But even if she is… I don’t know if I want her to be.”
Aston’s hand slides over my back, warm and steady. “I know, baby,” he says softly. “But I’m here. Every step of the way. Always.”
He presses a kiss to the back of my head, pulling me into him, and I let myself lean into the comfort of it, just for a moment.
Then I glance over at Ella, who looks like she’s barely holding herself together.
“I’ll be back,” I whisper to Aston before standing, and I walk over to her slowly.
“Hey,” I say gently. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you okay?”
She looks at me, her eyes glassy, like she’s holding everything back by a thread. “Your mum came back for you,” she says, her voice cracking. “Mine didn’t.”
The words hit harder than anything else today. My chest aches for her, and I step forward, ready to pull her into a hug…
“Annie Slade,” the nurse calls.
I freeze.
Ella squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head like she’s forcing the emotion back down.
Mum appears beside me, taking my hand. Together, we walk toward the door.
My family.
And Aston.
All of us stepping forward into whatever comes next.