Chapter Thirty-Seven
Annie
After the testing, we said our goodbyes to Loretta, and she reluctantly agreed to have the results sent to our lawyer, who will contact us when they come in. Then we’ll meet together to receive them.
Knowing she’s paying for the testing makes me think she might not be all bad.
They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and maybe that’s exactly what I need to do with Loretta… not judge her before I actually get to know her. The testing wouldn’t be cheap, and if she really wants to know whether I’m hers, then she must be somewhat sure.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t waste money on false hope… right?
We head back to the manor, and Aston stays over again. Dad doesn’t even argue about him sleeping in my room this time. He seems to have gotten past the overprotective crap, probably realizing I need support more than he needs to flex his whole dad authority thing.
The next morning, we wake up to another letter.
From Loretta… asking if we can meet before the maternity DNA results come back.
We sit down and talk it through as a family.
Mum is completely against it, but the rest of us agree to go ahead.
In the end, we decide to meet her in a private botanical park, somewhere quiet where there’s no chance of paparazzi finding us.
Hardly anyone goes there, which makes it the safest option.
She left her number, and Dad called to arrange a time.
We’re all going.
And honestly, it feels good knowing I have my entire family behind me… plus Aston, of course. His mum apparently freaked out when he told her and rushed straight over to check on mine, which says everything about their friendship. They really are inseparable.
Anna stays at the manor while we’re out, and Johnny comes over to keep her company. Mum insists it’s ‘just in case,’ worried Loretta might try something while we’re gone.
But I don’t buy that.
It seems like a lot of effort just to break in and steal something.
Mum, however, isn’t giving Loretta the benefit of the doubt like the rest of us. She doesn’t trust her, and she keeps circling back to the same question—If Loretta has known about me all these years, why come forward now?
It’s a fair point.
And one I plan to get answers to today.
We arrive at the botanical park, and Dad pulls the four-wheel drive into a car park. I spot Loretta’s rust bucket already waiting, and something strange settles in my chest.
She’s here.
My heart flutters, not racing, just beating a little faster. Aston holds my hand the entire time, and even when we step out of the car, he doesn’t let go.
“You okay, Annie?” Mum asks, walking over to me. “If you want to get back in the car and leave, no one will hold it against you.”
I let out a small laugh at her not-so-subtle attempt to get me out of here.
“I’m okay, Mum. Let’s just go see what she has to say.”
“C’mon, she’s waiting,” Dad says, already moving.
We walk toward the picnic table set beneath a tall oak tree where Loretta is sitting. She stands as we approach, smiling, but the moment she takes a step toward me, I hesitate.
She notices. “Sorry, honey,” she says quickly, stopping where she is. “I didn’t mean anything. I just… want to get to know you.”
I nod. “I want that too. But maybe we leave the hugging for another time, if that’s okay?”
Mum’s smile is immediate and very satisfied.
Loretta nods, gesturing for us to sit.
There isn’t enough room on one side, so I take the seat opposite her, Mum on one side of me and Aston on the other. Dad sits beside Loretta like he’s playing mediator, while Ella hangs back near the tree, leaning against it, arms folded.
“So…” Mum says bluntly, all eyes shifting to Loretta.
“Well, thank you for meeting with me,” Loretta begins. “You didn’t have to—”
“No, we didn’t,” Mum cuts in.
My eyes widen slightly.
“Dee, drop it down a notch,” Dad says, shooting her a look.
It’s weird seeing the roles reversed for once. Mum usually pulls Dad into line, not the other way around.
“I have some questions,” I say, cutting through the tension.
Loretta nods. “Straight to the point. Okay… go ahead.”
I tighten my grip on Aston’s hand. “So… why did you give me up after six months?” My voice wavers slightly, but I push through. “Was I not good enough for you?” A tear slips down my cheek before I can stop it.
Loretta’s face crumples. She reaches her hands across the table, like she’s hoping I’ll take them. “No, honey,” she says softly. “You were too good for me. That’s why I gave you up. You were perfect… and I was a mess. I couldn’t look after you properly. I had no money—”
“Because you were spending it on drugs,” Mum mutters.
Loretta exhales, pulling her hands back when I don’t take them. “Yes. Unfortunately… yes. I’m not proud of who I was, Annie. I didn’t deserve you then—”
“She doesn’t deserve you now,” Mum snaps.
Dad immediately stands, moving to her side. “C’mon, baby, let’s take a walk,” he says, gently pulling her to her feet.
“And leave Annie here with her? No way,” Mum protests, resisting.
“Dee,” Dad says more firmly. “Aston’s here. You know he won’t let anything happen. Now come on, before you make this worse.”
Mum looks down at me.
I give her a small ‘It’s okay’ nod.
Her expression softens, but I see the tears she’s holding back as Dad guides her away. Ella joins them, the three of them watching from a distance.
“Sorry about Mum,” I say quietly, turning back to Loretta. “She’s not handling this very well.”
“It’s okay,” Loretta replies. “I understand. I’m not exactly easy to trust.” She gestures vaguely to herself.
“This is what my past left me with. Believe me, I wish I looked…” she looks down at herself, “… better for you.” I don’t know what to say to that.
“She’s right about one thing,” Loretta continues.
“You deserved better than me. That’s why I gave you up. You deserved a life without me in it.”
I swallow, steadying myself. “So why come back now?”
She smiles softly. “Because of you. When I saw what you’d become. How you climbed out of your own mess… I used you as my reason to get clean. I thought, if my daughter can fight, then so can I.”
I shake my head slightly. “I wasn’t addicted to drugs. The media just ran with what they wanted. I made a mistake once, and that was enough for them. I’m not proud of it, but…” I glance at Aston. “It brought this man back into my life. That’s what matters.”
“Well then,” Loretta says, looking at him. “Thank you, Aston, for helping my Acacia find her way.”
I blink. “Acacia?”
She smiles. “That’s what I named you.”
The words hit differently than I expected.
Of course, I had another name.
I just never thought about it.
“Wow,” I say softly. It doesn’t feel like me. Annie fits. Annie is who I am. “I think I prefer Annie.”
She nods like she expected that.
“So… if you don’t know who my father is,” I continue, bracing myself. “Do you at least have names? Anything that could help narrow it down?”
Her expression shifts, the honesty settling in before she speaks, “I was in a bad place,” she says quietly. “I was sleeping with men for money… just to get my next hit. There were a lot of them, Annie. Too many. And if I’m being honest… I don’t remember most of them.”
My body goes rigid.
“So you were a hooker?”
“I didn’t work the streets or anything,” she says, her voice quieter now. “But I did get paid for sex. I didn’t think of myself that way, but I guess that’s what it is. So if you need a label, then yes.”
A shudder runs through me. “Were you high when you were pregnant with me?” I ask.
She looks down at the table.
And everything inside me goes cold.
“Yes,” she says softly. My stomach drops. “You were born high, Annie. They had to detox you after you were born prematurely. You were in the hospital for a long time.”
I shake my head, my chest tightening as the words sink in. Every instinct in me is screaming to get up and leave, to walk away and never speak to her again.
But I stay.
Because if I’m here, I need to know everything.
“So… how long have you been sober?”
She looks back up at me, a small, almost hopeful smile on her face.
“Nearly six months. After everything came out about you… your scandal, your recovery… I sorted myself out. Seeing you go down the same path I tried so hard to stop you from taking when I gave you up…” She exhales shakily.
“It nearly killed me, Annie. The thought of you becoming addicted, knowing how easy that could have been for you—”
“But I wasn’t,” I cut in, shaking my head. “I told you, I only took them once.”
“Oh.” She blinks, taken aback. “I just… believed what the papers were saying.”
“Yeah, well, they don’t exactly care about the truth.”
“I never wanted that life for you,” she says softly. “Not for my Acacia.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
She nods quickly. “Sorry. Force of habit. Whenever I talk about you, I call you Acacia, so no one knows it’s you. I’ve always kept that part of my life private.” She hesitates. “You don’t have to tell anyone about me. That can stay between us.”
Relief washes through me before I can stop it. “Okay… yeah. That sounds good.”
For a moment, she just looks at me, almost surprised by how easily I agree. I don’t question it. I don’t have the energy to.
“So… where do you live?” I ask.
“Not far from here,” she says. “I moved to Oxfordshire a few years ago. I wanted to be closer to you.” She gives a small, almost self-conscious smile.
“Sounds a bit stalkerish when I say it like that, but… I just wanted to be near you. Even if you didn’t know I was there.
I’d see you on television, online… I’ve been watching from a distance for years. ”
My stomach twists again. “And how did you find out I was… yours?” I ask.
“I went back to the adoption agency,” she explains. “They wouldn’t tell me anything at first. I had to push… a lot. Eventually, they gave me Deliah’s and Colter’s names, and I worked the rest out from there.”
There’s more to that story.
I can feel it.
But I let it go.
“Okay,” I say quietly.