Chapter 33 Walked On Water
WALKED ON WATER
“Did you have a good holiday?”
Dread filled Brennan’s body over that question on Thursday when he picked Becca up from pre-K.
He turned to see Celia standing there, her eyes looking him over.
It’s like she was burning into his soul trying to figure him out.
“I did,” he said. “How about you?”
“I had to work New Year’s Eve and yesterday,” Celia said, shrugging. “The grocery store only closes for a few holidays a year and New Year’s isn’t one of them.”
“That’s too bad,” he said. They were waiting for the kids to be brought out. They couldn’t just walk in and get them, but had to buzz and give their names.
Celia did that now.
“It comes with the territory. One of these days I’ll have more control over the schedule. The kids at least spent the two days with their father and ruined any plans he might have had if he wanted to go out.”
He found that petty on Celia’s part, but it wasn’t his business.
“Not always a lot to do around here I’m learning,” he said. “Not unless you went to Boston.”
“That would be nice to do,” Celia said. “I miss going out with friends and doing something fun. How about you? Do you get to Boston often?”
“No,” he said. “No reason to go there unless it’s for work. Everything I need is right here.”
Thank God he could see his daughter coming through the window in the door.
Followed by Polly and Asher. Go figure.
And Polly and Becca were holding hands and giggling.
That dread he felt earlier hearing Celia’s voice. It was a magnifying glass on his skin with the hot sun eating a hole through him now.
The door opened and his daughter pulled Polly toward him.
“Daddy. I want Polly to see my new dollhouse. Can she come over and play?”
“I think that’d be a lovely idea,” Celia said, not attempting to hide the leisurely tour her eyes took over his body. He almost felt violated. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Polly?”
“Yes, please,” Polly said. “I want to see what Santa brought Becca.”
Fuck. He could say no and disappoint his daughter, or he could make the play date and get it over with.
Maybe Celia had to work this weekend and it’d be the best time to do it.
“How about a few hours on Saturday morning?” he said. “Becca takes a nap at one and we like to keep her on schedule.”
This put an end to anything longer in his mind. Any other parent would honor that.
But Celia didn’t come off as other parents that he’d seen.
“That would work out wonderfully,” Celia said. “I’ve got the day off and I’ll see if Asher can go to another one of his friends.”
Phew, then Celia would consider it a free morning for her. Even better.
“Then it works,” he said. “How about at eleven, and then I can feed the girls after?”
“Works for me,” Celia said, her eyes bright, her blue nails rubbing down his arm. “It will be fun to catch up.”
And that didn’t go the way he thought it was going to.
“What’s for dinner, Daddy?”
His mind was miles away, lost in a desperate plan to avoid Celia, and he completely missed his daughter’s footwear mishap. Her boots were on the wrong feet.
“I’m making chicken, mashed potatoes, and some veggie,” he said.
Another easy air fryer meal. He was a pro at throwing marinated chicken breasts in and hitting a button to walk away.
A package of mashed potatoes took three minutes tops in the microwave.
Another few minutes with a bag of veggies and he was done.
He was going to have to step his game up at some point if he wanted to impress Alana, but satisfying a three-year-old appetite made it hard.
“I wouldn’t mind someone cooking for me one night,” Celia said. “It’s so hard when you’re the provider financially and of the home. Don’t you think it’s easier when it’s two people?”
“I’m sure it would be,” he said. “Ready, Becca?”
“Yep,” Becca said, lifting her arms. He carried her out if there was snow on the ground so she didn’t track a mess into the house he’d have to clean. That and any black ice that she might slip and fall on. Better safe than sorry.
It’s not like it was more than flurries, but he could walk faster if he held her too.
Celia was still waiting for Asher and Polly to finish dressing while she watched.
He got Becca in the car seat in the back, then jumped in the front and drove home.
All he could think of was Alana and how he was going to explain this to her.
The minute he was in the house and Becca was playing, he started on dinner, his mind exploring the best way to tell Alana that the woman he’d been on a date with when she was babysitting his daughter was going to be at his house on Saturday.
There was no way to sugarcoat something like that.
No reason to drag it out either.
Had to be like ripping off a blood-crusted bandage on a raw wound.
“Slow down,” he said to Becca twenty minutes later. They were at the table and eating dinner and his daughter was plowing through it as if she hadn’t eaten in days. The last thing he needed was her choking.
Considering he packed her lunch and it was all gone when he emptied her backpack, he didn’t know what the problem was.
“I’m hungry,” Becca said.
“You ate everything I packed today.” Even the extra snacks he always tossed in.
“I shared my snacks today.”
“Oh,” he said. “Why?”
He wouldn’t get mad over that. Not unless someone was shaking his kid down for their food. Then there’d be hell to pay.
“Polly didn’t like her snack. She said her mother put a banana in there and it was soft. Soft bananas are gross.”
He laughed. Becca was particular about the ripeness of her fruit.
“So she had food but didn’t like it?” he asked.
Becca nodded. “She didn’t like her sandwich either. It was tuna. It smelled funny. Polly said she doesn’t like tuna. And it was warm.”
He snorted, but he could see where mistakes might happen when you’re in a rush.
But if there was no ice in the lunch bag that sandwich had to be rotten by then.
It was probably a good thing Polly hadn’t eaten it.
“I’m glad you shared then,” he said.
“That’s right,” Becca said. “Alana said to always share when people need it.” His daughter thought Alana walked on water. He was thrilled they got along so well, but also unsure if he wanted them so attached yet.
“Not always,” he said. “The world doesn’t work that way.”
“How come?” Becca asked.
He realized now he shouldn’t have started this conversation. That it was always good to help those in need, but not the best to help those who couldn’t help themselves and chose not to.
Hell, even as an adult, it was hard to decipher the difference.
Guess he had Rene on the brain and the worry that Alana might think there was more going on with Celia coming over on Saturday than an innocent play date.
He’d bent over backwards to do everything for Rene, and that was one of many mistakes.
“You’ll figure it out when you’re older,” he said. “But you did the right thing and helped a friend out so she wasn’t hungry. But you ate too, right?”
“We shared my sandwich,” Becca said. “Polly said she’s never had a ham and cheese sandwich before and she liked it. Can you make them on Saturday for us?”
“Sure,” he said. Much easier than chicken strips and fries that he would have tossed in the air fryer.
After he cleaned up dinner, he ran Becca’s bathwater so she could bathe and wash her hair.
Just more time dragging things out before he confessed the mess he made to Alana.
Once his daughter was in bed and sleeping, he dragged himself downstairs as if he was walking the plank and picked his phone up.
It was eight and he often called now so it wouldn’t seem odd.
“Becca sleeping?” she asked when she answered.
“She is. It’s been nonstop since I’ve been home.”
“Ahhh, bath night,” Alana said. There was humor in her voice. She knew the routine now in the month they’d been dating. He counted that first night she was here babysitting because they talked about themselves personally.
That had all the elements of a date.
Sort of.
Minus the fact he’d been with another woman for dinner.
Yeah, he was a dick thinking that.
Time together didn’t matter when it came to what he was feeling for Alana.
He knew beyond a doubt he was falling in love with her and was terrified that this situation on Saturday was going to trigger something for her with her ex.
It was the last thing he wanted to happen.
“So,” he said. “I’ve got something to share and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it, but I wouldn’t hide it either.”
“Oh no,” she said. “That doesn’t sound good. Are you and Becca okay?”
She immediately went to that. Yeah, completely selfless. Maybe worrying about his daughter getting attached was premature.
“We’re fine. Becca put me on the spot to have a friend over on Saturday for a few hours before her nap.”
“That sounds like fun,” she said.
“Yeah, fun. Maybe it would be if it wasn’t Polly.”
“What’s wrong with Polly? Does she turn green and grow large muscles when she’s too excited?”
He laughed. “I wish that was all it was. Polly’s mother is Celia.
Celia will be here with her daughter for the play date.
I thought for sure that wouldn’t happen, but guess I didn’t communicate it well and it’s the first time Polly is here, so I can understand a parent not wanting to leave their child alone. ”
Though he knew damn well that wasn’t why Celia was staying.
“And you wanted me to know there was another woman in the house. That’s sweet and considerate. Thanks for telling me.”
She was taking it well or didn’t recognize the name.
He cleared his throat. “Celia is the person I went on a date with when you first babysat for me.” There was silence on the other line. “Are you there, Alana?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Just processing. Did you tell her you were dating me?”
“No,” he said. “And I realize now I could have avoided all of this if I had done that and was going to bring it up tomorrow when I get Becca from daycare but then realized that Becca is going to my mom’s in the morning.”
He could change plans, but he didn’t always see Celia either so there was no guarantee they’d run into each other.
“You sound uncomfortable about this,” she said.
“I am. The last thing I want you to think is that I’m cheating on you or interested in anyone else. You’d think that Celia would have gotten the hint by now, but the way she was looking me over almost terrified me.”
“Some women don’t give up unless you’re clear with them,” she said.
“I will be on Saturday. I promise. But I’ve got a favor to ask.”
“You want me to come over on Saturday to make sure it’s double clear, right?”
“Oh, thank God you understand,” he said and sank onto the couch.
She burst out laughing. “Brennan. Relax. I know the type of person you are. But I have to say it goes a long way that you’re telling me this so early and explaining it.”
“We’ve both been on the receiving end of that shit. And when Celia sees you on Saturday, she’s going to ask how long it’s been. I won’t lie. She’ll know it’s been around the same time we had our date. So I’m going to have some explaining to do and come off like an ass there too.”
“You don’t owe anyone an explanation after one date,” she said firmly. “I told you I had a few first dates and nothing more. Most people get the hint when you don’t want another one and just say that you weren’t feeling it or weren’t ready. What did you tell her?”
“This is the tricky part. I never asked her on another date and she didn’t ask me. She said she had a good time and I sent her thumbs up back.”
“Wow, Brennan. Even I could read that.”
“Exactly. And after no more texts regarding us and dates, she put Becca in the middle at pre-K asking me for a play date. I told her it was hard this time of year and she said after the holidays.”
“She wasted no time,” Alana said.
“Seems it. So yeah, I should have said something, but another date hadn’t come up again.”
“I’ll give you a pass on this because I can tell you’re bothered.”
“I am. I’m sorry. I think things are going so well between us and I’m terrified this might put the brakes on and don’t want that to happen.”
“Awwww. That’s very sweet of you to say. I think things are going wonderfully and my foot is on the gas, not the brakes. If you couldn’t tell by the other night, then you’re more blind than I thought.”
He laughed.
After they’d worn each other out and scraped the skin on their knees, they’d dressed and got under the blanket again cuddling in front of the fire.
Both of their bodies were screaming for something softer.
They moved to the couch, turned the TV on, and watched a comedy that he couldn’t remember the name of because both of them fell asleep and woke just before midnight.
“Oh, I could tell,” he said. “Thanks for being a good sport about this. I’d hoped we could make plans on Saturday anyway.”
“I’ll be there,” she said. “Just tell me when.”
“Thanks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“See you in the morning.”
They hung up after that, Brennan feeling relieved. Until he had to see Celia again.