Chapter 37 Insecurity And Assumptions
INSECURITY AND ASSUMPTIONS
Almost two weeks later, Brennan was in his office on a conference call when his cell phone dinged.
He looked down to make sure it wasn’t something to do with Becca since she was in pre-K today, noticed the text from Rene, and rolled his eyes.
He’d read it later. It was never anything urgent and most times only frustrated him.
Not one word from his ex since a few days before Christmas. That was just about two months ago.
He finished his conference call thirty minutes later and reached for his phone to open the message.
Call me.
Typical of her. Short, to the point, demanding, and somewhat rude.
He could put it off until later tonight, or do it now. Who the hell knew her schedule? And she most likely wouldn’t answer anyway.
After closing the door to his office, he sat back and hit the button to place the call that would most likely ruin his day and good mood.
The phone rang five times, then went to voicemail. Just as he figured.
He sent her a text to call him. Phrased it exactly the same way. Why not?
Then he stood up to fill his water bottle and stretch his legs, seek Alana, and fill her in.
No secrets between them. That was what they were running with and it was working after their disagreement two weeks ago over his insecurity and assumptions.
“Hey,” she said when he walked in and sat in front of her desk.
“Got a minute to chat?”
“Always. What’s going on? You look troubled.”
“More annoyed. I got a text from Rene to call her about an hour ago. I was on a call and didn’t reply. I called and she didn’t answer.”
“She said nothing else?”
“Nope. Just two words. Call me. So I did the same to her.”
She laughed. “I would have too. Maybe she wants to visit with Becca again? Isn’t that the only reason she reaches out?”
“Yep. It’s probably this week and I’ve got too much going on. This is the worst time of year for it. If she says that she wants to see her over the weekend, she might ask to have her in Boston without me.”
Alana didn’t hold back the cringe. “She’s never had her alone or overnight, right?”
“No. I won’t let her either if I’m here and they are there. There isn’t a way to get to her fast enough if there is a problem. I know there will be one. Rene can barely spend two hours with her. You see what Becca is like. She’s exhausting.”
It wasn’t a horrible trait for a child to have. Especially if it knocked them out at night.
But you needed patience and a game plan to get through the day too.
Alana excelled at it. His girlfriend could spend hours entertaining his daughter. Or playing with her and never get her feathers ruffled.
Hell, he could even run to the store last week alone and get a few things for the house without having his daughter with him because Alana volunteered to take her to the movies.
“She’s three. The older she gets, the easier it will be for her to entertain herself. She actually does a great job of it now. Some kids never learn to play alone.”
Which was why in his ideal world he would have had another child by now.
Close in age so that they could play together.
Something he’d never had and always secretly wanted.
“By necessity I’ve had to teach her to not be underfoot nonstop because I’ve got things to do and sometimes work at home.”
If every minute was spent dancing or coloring, clothes wouldn’t get washed, food not cooked, bathrooms never cleaned.
Hmmm, maybe this playing thing wasn’t so bad.
“Adulting isn’t for the faint of heart,” she said, laughing.
His phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out to see Rene calling.
“It’s her. Do you mind?”
“Go ahead,” she said. “I’ll just keep working.”
Alana went back to what he’d interrupted while he shut her door and answered the call.
“What’s going on, Rene?”
“Can’t you even say hi to me?” Rene asked.
“Hello, Rene. What’s going on?”
“You’ve never been this short before,” Rene said.
He snorted. “I’m working. You know this is a busy time of year for me. You’re not calling to ask me for an update on Becca, I’m sure.” There was silence when he said that. “Right?”
“I’d like to know more about her and what’s going on.”
He frowned. “Right now?”
“I have to go to work at ten. Overnight flight,” Rene said.
He looked at his watch. It was two. “You’re not sleeping?”
“I will soon. I was waiting for you to call me back. I was in the basement doing laundry when you called the first time.”
He’d have to give her a pass there.
Then he wondered why he always took the nice guy route.
“I don’t have time to do it now,” he said. “It’s not a five-minute summary. That’s not how parenthood works. When is your next day off? Or I can send you an email with highlights.”
It sounded cold even to him, but it wasn’t as if he expected her to follow through with this. Ten minutes of his time to type something up would leave him a nice paper trail if he ever needed one.
“I won’t be home until tomorrow night. We are staying in Barcelona for a few hours to sleep before we fly back.”
He knew she’d sleep some on the long flight. She always did and they rotated to be available for passengers.
“Then call me on Thursday night,” he said.
“I have to work again,” Rene said. “Can’t I call you Thursday morning when I get up?”
“No,” he snarled. “I’m working.”
Alana lifted her head at his sharp words.
He didn’t understand why Rene couldn’t comprehend this. She couldn’t talk when she was working, why did she think he could always stop and talk during his day? A five-minute call, sure. But a lengthy discussion about his daughter was completely different and it’s not as if this was an emergency.
Rene huffed out a large breath. “I don’t know why you’ve got to be so difficult all the time.”
“I’d hardly say it’s all the time,” he argued.
“We barely talk and it’s always on your terms. In the past twelve months you’ve seen Becca twice and both times were less than three hours.
This is the first you’ve reached out to talk about her on the phone.
I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I’m done bending over backwards to have you ghost out again for months on end. ”
Enough was enough in his eyes.
He’d been trying to hold a relationship between his ex and his daughter together for over three years and it wasn’t his responsibility anymore.
Or he wouldn’t have it be one.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Rene argued. “It’s hard with my job. You know that. It’s why we agreed you’d take primary custody.”
“Oh no,” he said. “Don’t even go down that road. There was no agreement. You fucking moved out of the apartment when she was six weeks old and left her.”
Alana’s head snapped up. He was being a dick, but it was called for.
Some things riled him more than others and the treatment of his daughter by her mother would always be a trigger button easily pushed.
“I had to go back to work,” Rene said. “You know that.”
“No, I don’t know that. You didn’t have to go back. You could have taken more time off. I was paying for everything anyway. You’re the one who can’t sit still.”
Which Becca definitely got from her mother.
“Fine,” Rene said. “I’m pregnant.”
His jaw dropped.
This seriously happened again with his ex.
“Do you know who the father is?”
“Don’t be an asshole,” Rene shouted.
He wouldn’t get into a shouting match. Least of all at work or in a room with his girlfriend.
“I think it’s a reasonable question, all things considered.”
“I knew you were the father. The condom broke. I didn’t need one after.”
He wanted to vomit over this conversation and the thought that popped into his head. It was all about pregnancy prevention for her, not diseases.
“Oh, so after you found out, you let any uncovered dick inside of you?”
“That’s uncalled for,” Rene yelled.
“I don’t think it is. I think the truth burns and you can’t handle it. I don’t know what about you being pregnant again has to do with Becca. You made your choice in her life and that’s where it stands.”
“Not if I go for custody.”
He paled. He actually felt the blood drain from his face and was never so thrilled they were on the phone and she couldn’t witness his reaction.
Women like Rene would only feed off it more like a vampire sucking the soul out of him.
“You don’t have a shot in hell at having custody of Becca and we both know it. But if you want to spend your money and try, go for it.”
He disconnected the call after that.
It wouldn’t do either of them any good to fight over something that was legally binding right now and would take time to change.
No judge in their right mind would let her have custody with her work schedule and he wasn’t about to give his daughter up or share her either.
“I don’t need to know what that was about,” Alana said.
“You heard most of it,” he said, sinking back into the chair he’d vacated when he was pacing in her office.
“I heard her yelling on the other end too.”
“You think I’m an asshole, don’t you? For what I said to her?”
“No,” she said. “You said everything that popped into my mind when I heard she was pregnant. I always wished I had the courage to say things like that to Jonathan.”
“He had a lot of dicks in him too?” he asked dryly.
She laughed. “I know you’re trying to joke.”
“If I don’t joke, Kelsey is going to be pissed when I put my fist through the wall.”
He didn’t think it was possible for him to be brought to violence.
He hadn’t when Rene left him with a newborn, but now thinking he might have to give time with his daughter up to a woman who only wanted it because she had another child coming was making his blood turn black with an evil strong enough to peel his skin off of him.
Alana got up and walked toward him, sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck.
He held her tight because it felt like the only thing he could do with his world tumbling around him.
Just when everything seemed to finally be lining up, the road didn’t only curve, it dropped off a cliff.