Chapter 27 The Biggest Chance
THE BIGGEST CHANCE
“Sorry I left you with my mother and sisters-in-law for so long,” Ethan said when they were back at his condo.
They’d landed ninety minutes ago, got to his place, changed, gone for their run, then showered and were finally sitting on the couch. He figured now might be a good time to chat and see how it went while he was talking business with his brothers.
“Don’t be sorry. It was great. I like Blake and how outspoken she is, but she’s not mean with it. Just honest.”
“Egan needs that in his life to keep him on track. But you can tell he actually enjoys her giving him shit. In a nice way. I’m not sure I’d want that myself. But I’m not Egan either. He gets on my nerves, so living with him with two kids... God bless Blake.”
She laughed. “I can see where his antics could be over the top. He’s almost like a big kid himself. And speaking of kids, I see your nieces and nephews adore you.”
He puffed his chest out. “There is a lot of me to adore. Kaden and Adrienne are night and day, but I enjoy them both. The babies are the best. They don’t give you lip back.”
“Not yet, but they will,” she said, laughing.
“What did you think of Bella? In my mind, your personalities are much closer.”
“I think so too. Though I doubt she’s ever gone through what I did as a kid. Worrying about acceptance or anything like that.”
“Don’t be so sure,” he said. “Her parents died when she was a teen and her uncle raised her, shielding her from her family in America. There were reasons for it and she’s reconnected with them, but not her grandfather. Just her aunt and cousins. I asked because she’d be one to understand more.”
“Oh. I hadn’t known that. Not that it would come up. It’s not like I talked about my situation with my father. We only discussed how it was working for Eli. I wish I knew that beforehand.”
“It’s better you found out this way,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Did it make you feel better about things?”
“Not really. Not that I’m feeling horrible. I don’t know what I’m feeling there. Nothing bad. It was a great day. It really was and I’m sorry I was a wuss earlier on. I felt as if I’ve gotten past those insecurities in my life, and then bam, there it is and it embarrassed me.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.” His thumb grazed the top of her hand. “We all have those days.”
“Not you.”
“Don’t be so sure.” He hesitated a moment. “Can we talk some?”
She turned her head, her smile disappearing, some wariness in her eyes. “I thought we were.”
“We are. I’d just like to find out more about you and your past relationships. You asked about mine before and I said it wasn’t the time to talk about it, but if I want you to talk, then I should do the same.”
“Yes, you should.”
“I will, if you’ll go first. I just want to gather things if I can.”
She scooted over on the couch, put her legs under her hips and laid her head on his chest, his hand coming out to brush her light brown hair from her face.
It had a bit of a curl to it from the wind’s fingers licking its way through.
He liked her tumbled this way, but he was positive she’d disagree.
“Not a lot to say. I’ve dated. Had two what I consider serious or long-term relationships. The last one was over two years ago.”
“What happened there? How long was it and why did it end?”
She sighed. “I still feel bad about this, but I’m not sure what I did. Or maybe I feel guilty.”
That didn’t sound good. “Why would you say that?”
“Jordan was a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong. Kind of on the scholarly side. He was a branch manager at a credit union. It’s a small area and I used the bank. It’s how we met.”
“Hey, whatever works. I didn’t think you’d be the type to use dating apps.”
“No. Never. I’m too nervous for something like that. Have you?”
“Not at all,” he said firmly. “I’d never do that. Just can’t trust who is on there.”
“That was always my feeling. So Jordan and I started to date. I was still in my awkward stage.”
“What is that? There isn’t anything awkward about you.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek and she snuggled into him some more.
“You know a different person. Or so Jordan would say. And that happened. I was about thirty pounds overweight. I just didn’t feel comfortable in my skin.
No one would look at me and say I was obese or anything, but years of things my father said wouldn’t leave my mind.
Jordan didn’t like to do anything active.
He liked to go out to dinner and I think that made it worse. ”
“You don’t seem like the sitting-around type.”
“I never knew that I wasn’t. It’s all I ever did. Sit around and read, watching TV, grab some pre-made food or order out if my mother wasn’t cooking. I still lived at home, though Jordan had his own place.”
He frowned. “You didn’t want to move in with him?”
“He never asked and I wasn’t going to bring it up. I’d stay there, but I always felt as if he liked his space and didn’t want to share it more than a few nights a month.”
“A month?!” Jesus, he’d like her at his place a few times a week. He already got her here Friday and Saturday, but during the week would be nice too.
“Yeah. I could have or should have moved out by then, but I had my space at my mother’s house. I was putting money away. It’s not like we didn’t get along. I don’t know, it was just nice being with the one person who’d always been there for me.”
And when her mother left, that was when Nora felt she had to make the biggest change—or take the biggest chance—of her life.
“I’m glad you had that. Back to Jordan.”
“I’m glad I did too. One day, a woman I worked with wanted to start an office weight loss group.
Just felt if she weren’t doing it alone she’d stick to it.
I thought, why not? It’d be nice to be a part of a group and if I could lose a few pounds maybe it’d kick-start something.
So we were a support for each other, we walked on our lunches to start.
Chatted about healthier food. In two weeks I’d dropped six pounds and thought, holy cow, I can do this, it wasn’t hard. ”
“Jordan didn’t like you doing that?”
“He didn’t care. It’s not that it interfered with our lives.
Not at first. I got up in the morning and walked, then it turned to running.
My food choices were getting better. We’d still go out, but I’d get something healthier than before.
I don’t think I changed that much, but Jordan said I was.
That I wasn’t the woman he’d been dating for years. ”
He noticed the guy said nothing about love. “How so?”
“I don’t know. I still can’t really pinpoint anything other than I was more confident in the way I carried myself.
I took more notice of my appearance. I was happier.
It’s hard not to be when you like what you see in the mirror.
He wanted me to decide. Him or continuing on my journey.
I’d only lost like fifteen pounds and it’d slowed after four months.
I knew I had more in me, and I said anyone who told me I had to choose between health and me bettering myself or them. .. well, you can see what I decided.”
“Good for you,” he said. Made him want to track this dick down and tell him how to treat a lady.
But if the guy had treated Nora well, she’d still be in Vermont and not half lying across his chest on the couch. Where he wanted her to stay... indefinitely.
“He was hurt. I was hurt. But I know it was the right decision. I told myself I was coming first. I deserved that in my life. Slowly I lost the rest of my weight by buckling down. I wasn’t looking at the scale, but rather how I felt and fit in my clothes.
It didn’t happen overnight, but one day I was out and someone I hadn’t seen since high school was stunned at my transformation.
They’d said it wasn’t just physical either, it was the way I was smiling and standing up straighter.
Lots of things. I’d changed jobs again, and my father was beating me down on that like he always did. ”
“Stop,” he said. “No more talk about you being beat down. I mean it. Sounds to me as if you’ve conquered so much. Be proud. I know I am of you.”
She turned her head, her lips in an adorable pout that he had to lean down and kiss. “Awww, that’s the sweetest thing.”
“I’m being sincere.”
“I know. It just hurt when Jordan told me it wasn’t just my body changing but me as a person.
I don’t think I changed who I was at the core, but I found an inner strength I never knew I had.
Has it gotten me in trouble? Considering I had a one-night stand being someone I’m not normally, that could be a yes. ”
“There was no trouble there,” he said. “You heard my mother. It’s fate.
If you didn’t try to be someone you weren’t, I wouldn’t have noticed you in the bar.
And I’m not talking about your looks because you’ve brought it up before.
I’m talking about how you carry yourself.
That is more attractive to me than your ass.
Though, I’m not complaining about that either. ”
“You’re being silly,” she said, laughing.
“And serious. I’ll be honest and say I wouldn’t have gotten to know the old you. But I don’t think the new you has lost the old you. It’s still there. It’s who you are, but you’ve honed in on so much more that your core is shining.”
“I don’t know that I’ve ever thought of it that way. No one has said it.”
“I’m saying it. It’s there. For me to see, you to see. Your core was bright that night. If I got up and walked away, you would have shrugged it off and gone on with your night.”
“And you’re not used to that,” she said, pinching his arm.
“I’m not, but it’s happened. I’ve become very selective in my life with women. For several reasons.”
“And you’re going to share that with me?”
“I am,” he said. Because he knew the woman on his couch was the one he was in love with. They’d get no further if he couldn’t convince her he was all in.
She said she was strong, and maybe she believed it most days, but he knew better. Beneath that quiet confidence lived the same doubts she tried so hard to bury.
If she was ever going to believe in them, in this, it had to start with him.
The problem was, he’d never been the first to say it before. Words like that had always been a reaction. An echo, not a confession.
But this was different. She was different.
What he felt for Nora wasn’t habit or comfort. It was the breath that woke him every morning and the thought that lingered when he closed his eyes at night.
The thing he didn’t just want to say, it was the thing he needed to say.