Chapter 28 Planning For The Future
PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE
Nora sat up and moved to the side so she could look at Ethan while they talked.
Maybe she needed to empty her soul while not looking at him.
But his actions, his movements, his caresses, they all warmed her. Soothed and comforted every word that escaped from her mouth in a jumbled mess.
He understood what she was explaining even when she wasn’t making all that much sense to herself.
And what did he do? He kissed her and said what they had was fate. That he was glad what she thought was something to get her in trouble actually turned out to be... right.
God, when was the last time she felt she did anything right in anyone’s eyes?
But today, today of all days, at his family’s home with everyone surrounding them, she’d felt as if she got the acceptance she’d been dreaming of her whole life.
Now, she just wanted to get Ethan’s love.
In order for her to move on, she wanted to know more. She needed to know that he wasn’t keeping secrets from her. That he wasn’t going to change as she’d been accused of doing.
That he wasn’t just enamored with her looks and what she could do for him in the office.
“Can you tell me about your past dating history now? I don’t have much more to share. I’d say the thing with Jordan was the last and the deepest.”
“You said the deepest but didn’t mention the word love. Were you in love?”
“I was. Or I thought I was. I can’t say it just stopped like a flip being hit, but more like the sand coming out of an hourglass.
Slow, steady, draining everything until the last grain was gone.
By then, it was easy to walk away. Probably makes me sound cold, but when he asked me to choose, the fact I could do it so easily said it was time. ”
“You’re the least cold person I know,” he said. “For me, I don’t have anyone like that. I’ve had a few relationships that lasted around a year. My biggest problem has always been figuring out what I wanted, if they could give it to me, or if they even wanted me or my name.”
She lifted her eyebrow. “What is it you want?”
“I thought it was someone to go out and have a good time with. Someone who wasn’t clingy because I wasn’t always around.”
“That’s not easy, I’m sure, but plenty of women would say they were fine with it to be with you.”
He laughed. “There was that. And I had my fair share, which is what made me so selective. You never know who is being truthful or not.”
“I hope you know I am. I know we didn’t have the best first experience together.”
Which was going to haunt her.
“It was a great first experience,” he said, his leg coming out, his bare toe rubbing on her thigh.
He even had nice feet. How did men have nice feet?
“I’m glad you think that. Are you still looking for someone to have a good time with? You said that is what you thought. I mean, I think we have fun together, but I’m not really fancy. I’m not sure it’s my thing.”
That was information she needed. But she wouldn’t nor couldn’t change for a man. Not everything.
“When Eli and Bella got engaged, I saw it was possible to find your person. But, there was Bella, coming in at the same social status so I had my doubts or wondered in terms of me. Then I reminded myself a lot of my cousins who are right there with me, their wives don’t have our background.
Some have ones that lesser families would turn their nose at.
My family, they just want to see everyone happy. ”
She wanted details but knew that would be intrusive. “Blake’s background is upper class.”
“It is. And did she tell you she moved here to reconnect with her father also? You have that in common. Her mother divorced and moved her to California and she rarely saw him.”
“No,” she said, pursing her lips. “But again, it didn’t come up about me.”
“Now you know for the next time you see each other. Probably July Fourth. My mother will want to have a picnic. If not on Saturday, then Sunday. We can go over for the weekend also.”
“I’d like that.” And the fact he was already planning for the future. Even if it was just a few weeks.
“Back to me. We know I enjoy talking about myself.”
“You do.”
“When Blake came into the picture and we found out she was pregnant, I’d never seen Egan like that before. She settles him when no one else could. You can see how he feels around her and I was... jealous.”
“That’s kind of sweet.”
“Not a great feeling on my end, but there it is. I told myself it was possible to find that, but I had to be looking in the right direction. Or not looking, as my brothers hadn’t been.”
Now this was making more sense. “But you approached me at the bar.”
“I did. And I wasn’t there looking. I was there unwinding from a brutal week and feeling sorry for myself over the fact that Blair was leaving. I saw you at the bar and I thought, now there is a woman who knows how to carry herself.”
She burst out laughing. “You know how funny that sounds, don’t you?”
“Only to you. I sat next to you, we talked. I relaxed. It’s like being in your presence soothed me in a way it’d never happened before. There were no expectations. Nothing I had to do or prove. We were chatting and I knew if I got up and walked away, you’d do the same.”
“Your ego.”
“It was, but it was also freeing. You admitted you hadn’t planned on saying yes when I asked, just like I really hadn’t planned on asking you. I almost took it back thinking, no way she’s what I’m looking for if she says yes.”
And there she was again with her actions getting her in trouble. “Great. One more thing to carry.”
“Stop. You know how I feel about that night. I told you I had intended on getting your number in the morning and seeing where this could go. Do you know how many women linger around waiting for that?”
“I can imagine.”
“No, you can’t,” he said. “Let me give you some examples of the women I’ve dated.
They want fancy trips and dinners. No shocker there.
We went to a wine tasting one night, she pounded six glasses of wine to my two.
She wanted them to keep coming. It didn’t take me long to realize that after six glasses in two hours and her still on her feet that she had a high tolerance and that was her life. Drinking and partying. Having fun.”
“Yikes.”
“That didn’t last long. Other women... let’s say they’d offer other things to me to stay on. Or try to prove their worth. Or that they were all in when deep down I didn’t feel the connection to them I should. Or what I could see my brothers had.”
“Don’t go there, Ethan.”
“I’m being honest. They didn’t last either. Never once have you tried to be anyone other than yourself with me.”
“Except that night.”
“No. You keep saying that, but I don’t believe it. The only thing different that night was you saying yes to my joke and ending up in bed with me. The rest of it is the same. You’re friendly. You’re well-liked by senior management.”
“Not by those under me, so I wonder if it’s because of my father that the others do.”
He laughed. “Having Norris as your father is a reason for people not to like you. Sorry, but it’s true.”
She believed that. “What else is the same?”
“Your quiet confidence. You don’t need to showboat. I think deep down, you’ve always been confident in your ability but have been afraid to show it to anyone feeling as if they’d mock you. Maybe ask why you thought you were better than them. Am I right?”
Funny how he was and no one else ever saw that. “I think so.”
“Not think, know. Where you got strong was your inner self saying you didn’t care if they didn’t like that you knew what you were doing.
You didn’t care if they didn’t like you as a person.
You were there to do what needed to be done.
Didn’t mean you were a bitch or that you were causing problems. You just did your best.”
She smiled. “Thank you. I still have this tiny bit in me that likes to be told I’m doing a good job even if I know I am.”
“That’s human nature. And you’re doing a great job. And I’m not saying that just because I see you naked.”
She laughed and shoved his arm. “Thanks for that.”
“Other women would be mad over that. If you were insecure—really insecure about the way we met—you wouldn’t have laughed.”
Her smile dropped and she absorbed the words. “You’re right. Years ago, I would have gotten upset. I would have told myself I had done something wrong. But now, with you, it’s just another easy joke.”
“That’s what I’ve been looking for. This.” His hand was moving back and forth between them.
“I always knew I wanted it, just didn’t know if I’d find it. I definitely didn’t think I’d find it with you.”
“Yeah, well, you did.” He tugged her closer.
Not tucking her under his arm, but close enough for their eyes to lock.
“And that’s why I’m telling you I love you.
” His words came out steady but full of weight.
“What I feel with you…what I feel for you. It’s not something I’ve ever had before.
I’ve said the words before, maybe even thought I meant them. But this…this is real.”
Her breath caught, eyes blinking fast as a tear slipped free. “Oh wow.”
He laughed under his breath, more nervous than amused. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say?”
“No,” she whispered, cupping his jaw. “I love you too. I think I have for a while now. I just kept telling myself it was too soon. Too fast. Too complicated to ever last.”
He smiled, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “It is fast. But not too soon. And it’s going to last, Nora.”
She shook her head lightly, still smiling through her eyes filling. “No one can predict the future, Ethan. I’m not even going to try. But right now…I just want to live in this moment, and be grateful I found more than I ever bargained for when I moved here.”