Chapter 44 Steering Things
STEERING THINGS
Who the hell could be knocking on his door?
He looked out of his office window, leaned to the side, and saw Natalie’s car in his driveway.
She was the last person he expected to see and raced down the stairs to open the door.
“Did you forget something?”
He hoped she wasn’t coming back to throw the ring in his face. He didn’t know if he could take another kick to the ass right now.
“No. We need to talk.”
“We were. You left.”
“I did. I’m sorry. I had to cool down. I went to see my mother.”
He put his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “You told her what an asshole I’ve been?”
“No. I told her you bought a house without my knowing. And how you shoved this ring on my finger when she noticed it.”
Yeah, not exactly the romantic proposal he’d been trying to plan.
Guess his temper got the best of him too.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I went about everything wrong. I should have told you about the house, but you get a stick up your butt about things when it comes to money.”
She sighed and moved past him. “I do. It’s going to take some getting used to. I thought I was getting better, but maybe I’m not.”
“You are. I’ve wanted to talk more about our future and you don’t. I felt as if my back was against the wall. You’re the planner, I’m not.”
“I know. And it’s difficult to find property on the island.”
“Yes. There isn’t a lot available. I looked at it all last night. That was by far the nicest. I even went back through to see what might have sold in the past few months.”
“Not a lot, I’m sure.”
“Exactly. I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for the perfect one to come on the market when it could be months or more.
And I don’t want to live in my rental when a baby comes.
Your apartment is too small. I worried about having the baby on another floor, but that sitting room is the perfect nursery. ”
“It will work.”
“I did think it through. I know you think I fly by the seat of my pants with most things, but that isn’t true. I put a lot of thought into something when I’m ready to commit.”
She looked at the ring he’d had made weeks ago. The one that fit her hand perfectly and looked pretty stellar if he did say so himself.
“I know that about you now. Everything is happening so fast and it’s hard to keep up. It’s like a whirlwind romance you read about and I’m living it.”
He’d been thinking of this for months prior to showing up on the island. He had to remember that.
“I should have thought of that. I thought doing this would take that pressure and stress off of you. I know you’re busy at work. You’re worried about getting behind because you’re not working as much. I appreciate you’re accommodating me there.”
“I won’t be stupid about things. I’m listening to my body and right now I feel great. There will be a time I won’t. I know that. But I also know that mentally putting myself in a bad spot won’t help. Like me leaving the way I had without talking it out more.”
“Tell me everything. I’ll listen to it and then I’ll give you my side.”
“Thank you for that. Please don’t judge.”
“I won’t. I promise.” He pulled her under his arm onto the couch.
“I told you. It’s all so fast. I’ve had people comment on me being with you. First as a guest, then when they found out who you were, last week it was me being pregnant and getting a twenty-year ride.”
“Whoa,” he said, sitting up straighter on the couch. “Why am I hearing this now?”
“Because I took care of it. It’s just jealousy. A way to get under my skin. If I react, they feed off of it.”
“I want to know who it is.”
“And I don’t need you to fight my battles. It’s no one important. I’m serious. You said you’d let me talk and you’re not.”
He cringed, but it’d been hard not to react to what she’d shared. “Sorry. Go on.”
“We don’t know everything about each other.
We’re learning and then throw this baby in the mix.
Your lifestyle and mine are different. Not just the wealth, but how you live.
And I know you’re getting better, or taking care of it.
Not the way I would, but I told myself you have to be you and I’ll be me. ”
“That’s right.”
“So I can handle the cleaning person because I’m not going to be the maid.
I accepted that. I accepted that you’ve got more than me.
That your daily life differs from mine. We’re going to have different parenting styles.
I even understand that because you don’t have a structure in your life in terms of a job like me, that you’ve got more free time to let your mind wander.
Wander to things like if I’ll change my mind about how you feel. ”
“I sound like a wuss.”
She laughed and patted his hand. “And maybe I sound a bit like a witch even thinking those things. But I’ve always looked for the bad before the good.
I can’t change a lifetime of that. I value honesty in people and haven’t always received it.
I left this island hoping to find something different and didn’t.
I just found people were the same if not worse. ”
“Davey The Douche. I might hunt him down.”
“Stop,” she said, smiling. Just a soft quick one.
There didn’t seem to be much anger in her tone or voice now.
Not even in her body. “He was one small inequitable example in the bigger picture, but it really hurt back then. I found out what he was about in his room. I think it could have been much worse if fate hadn’t intervened.
But it shaped me and my trust in people.
I’ve gotten better in general, but in matters of the heart, that’s just harder.
I’m trying and I felt I’ve succeeded. That you’ve helped me. ”
“Get it all out before I say my part.”
“I said most of it. Then you show up on the island and I’m wary but willing. That’s the best I can describe it. You made me think, feel, and do things I’ve not done with others. I fell in love with everything about you. Everything but your wealth. I don’t see that.”
“I know you don’t.”
“But it’s hard to be completely blind to it. Sometimes my life feels out of control and you’re not just on the ride with me, but you’re steering things.”
“And you don’t like to give up control. I know. I took that from you today, didn’t I?”
“You did. You’ve done it a few times. And I’m trying to understand that because I can’t always be the one in control either. That is why I said we need to talk things out. So, there you go. You can talk.”
“You said a lot of what I’ve been feeling. But where things are different is how we grew up. You were exposed to a long, healthy marriage. Me, not so much.”
“Your grandparents.”
“Yes, they had a long marriage, but it was a different generation. They rarely showed affection with each other. Then I’ve got my parents showing too much with everyone they are with.”
More than he wanted to know.
“And that’s weighed on you for years,” she said. “I didn’t believe how bad it was with your family until I witnessed it.”
“Can I confess to you I would have agreed to anything to get you to go to Nick’s wedding? That I felt once you saw my family and what they were about there’d be no surprises afterward. It’s like that weight would be lifted and out in the open before we went any further.”
“I wouldn’t have judged you on them, Arik,” she said softly. Her hand reached for his thigh and ran over it in comfort.
“I know that now, but I didn’t then. It goes back to how fast everything is going and how well—or not so well in my case—that we are maneuvering through things.”
“We’re both getting through it the best we can. I have to not let my emotions get the best of me.”
He laughed and tucked her close to his side, and dropped his arm. “You realize how ridiculous that sounds coming from the woman who had the perfected smile and nod to anything that happens in front of her, right?”
A tiny giggle escaped from her mouth. “I know. But you have always had the ability to get me to let my feelings and emotions out. Not as fast as you’d like, but still more than anyone else.”
“Yay me,” he said.
She laughed. “That’s right, yay us. I’m sorry for how I reacted. I still think you should have told me what you were doing rather than buying it and telling me after the fact.”
“I can back out.”
“It’s not up to me,” she said.
“Yes, it is. If you don’t want the house, I’ll make the call and say we are changing our minds. There is a forty-eight-hour stipulation in there because you hadn’t seen it.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
“I didn’t get a chance. Think it over and let me know.”
“There isn’t anything to think about,” she said. “It’s a gorgeous house and will be a beautiful location to raise a family. I have to get over my insecurities on my own, but it makes sense to purchase the house.”
“I’m glad, but you still can change your mind.”
“I won’t,” she said. “About anything. And I’m not going to leave tonight either. I want to make sure that we are both good before we sleep tonight.”
“You know you’re welcome in my bed any time you want,” he said, kissing her on the forehead. He threw her legs over his thighs, then stood with her in his arms. “Starting now.” Then he raced to his room.