Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
Emerson
The relief I feel when Sawyer tells me that there’s no man in their lives is enormous. I’m not sure why she chose to have River alone, but I also don’t care. River is adorable, and I’m really glad I’ll get to take care of both of them.
At last night’s dinner, I let my whole crew know that I will be dating Sawyer. I asked if any of them had any issues with it. And every one of them said no and that they were happy for us. The relief on Sawyer’s face made me feel good. I knew my crew would never be mad about me dating her.
Today is our last test day before our season starts. We have a month off after this and my family is thinking of going back to Lake Renegade. I want to ask Sawyer if she and River would like to come with us. And I’m hoping that she’ll say yes.
I do my best to focus on riding. Part of me keeps thinking of Sawyer, but that can also get dangerous.
Losing concentration can lead to crashes.
Today was a good day, I topped the time charts.
My bike feels great and I can’t wait to start our season.
I thank my crew and then head to my trailer to change.
As I’m changing, there’s a knock at the door. And my da comes in.
“That was a good testing day. How’s the bike?”
“The bike feels good. I think when we get to our first race, we might need a few adjustments. But for the first time in a while, the bike actually feels good the way it is.”
“Are you thinking of asking Sawyer to join us in Lake Renegade?”
“I want to. Do you think it’s too soon?”
“That’s completely up to you and Sawyer. None of us can tell you what’s too fast or slow.”
“I don’t want to scare her, but I want to skip all this dating stuff and just be together. But because she has River, I feel like I need to let her tell me how fast or slow she wants to take things.”
My da laughs. “I suppose that’s one way to do things.”
“Did you not take it slow when you met Mama?”
“Not even a little.” He laughs more. “I told her what I wanted and that you were both mine from the moment I met you.”
I laugh as I listen to my da. We’ve all grown up listening to their love story.
And I get it now that I’ve met Sawyer. I feel like River’s my son, not my stepson.
Maybe I need to tell Sawyer exactly how I feel.
No sugarcoating it. My da has always been able to help me work through things, even if he doesn’t know it.
“Thanks, Da.”
“For what?”
“Everything.”
He smiles as he hugs me. “Talk to your girl and we’ll make our reservations to go back home tomorrow.”
I hug him back and nod. After he leaves, I finish getting changed and head back to my garage. My crew is packing everything up. I sit down with Matteo and go over some things as they’re finishing up packing my bikes and the other equipment.
“You’re all headed back to Lake Renegade?” he asks.
“Yeah, we’re hoping to leave the day after tomorrow.”
“And Sawyer?” he asks quietly.
“I’m hoping she’ll come with me. The crew is okay with this, right?”
“Sì, they’re all okay. Just don’t play favorites when it’s time to work.”
I nod. “I won’t, when it’s time to race, it’s all business.”
“I’m happy you found each other.” He smiles as we continue to go over the data.
After another hour, I go over to Sawyer.
“Can we talk tonight? We can have dinner at my house if you’d like. My mama got in this afternoon and I’d love for her to meet you and River.”
“Are you sure?”
I smile. “With you, I’m always sure.”
“Okay. I’d like that, I hope she likes us.”
“She already loves you both.” I smile. “I’ll come and pick you and River up at five.”
I kiss her and leave so that she can get back to work.
I meet up with my brothers and we head home. When we get there, our mama greets us all at the door. I love the smiles on my parents’ faces every time they see each other.
Ares: Hey Ez, send pics of Emerson’s woman. Everyone here wants to see her
Emerson: …
Ezra: *sends a pic of Emerson, Sawyer and River*
Giovanna: OMG. They’re adorable! Is that her son?
Emerson: Yeah, that’s River
Luciana: EMERSON’S A DADDY
Artemis: Omg. When are you bringing her home?
Emerson: You all realize it’s only been two days. TWO. And you guys might scare her
Giovanna: *sends a sad kitty gif*
Emerson: …
Easton: hahaha
Lorenzo: Are you all coming back before the first race?
Elias: That’s the plan. I think we’re leaving tomorrow? Or the next day
Apollo: Don’t forget to bring Sawyer and River
It’s official. My family has lost their minds.
“Are you going to ask Sawyer?” Ezra asks.
“Yeah, but I worry she’ll say no or say she can’t afford it. I don’t want her to pay for it, but I don’t know if she’ll let me pay for it either.”
“Isn’t she from Chicago? Maybe she’ll want to visit her family?” Easton asks.
“I don’t think so, I asked her about her family and she said they’re not close and she wouldn’t be visiting them. I don’t know the story yet, but she did seem a little sad when she said it.”
“Shit. That makes me sad. You all are a pain in my ass, but I don’t know what it would be like without everyone.”
I nod. “Yeah, that’s how I felt when she told me.”
“Well, now she has a family,” our da says as he joins us.
“Will I get to meet Sawyer and River tonight?” my mama asks.
“Yes, I’m picking them up at five and I’ll bring them here.”
“I’m really excited. I was thinking of ordering in. We can wait till they get here to see what kind of food they want.”
I love my mama, she’s the most selfless person I know. And I know that even if Sawyer decided that she didn’t want to be with me, she’d still have a family.
Sawyer
When Emerson told everyone that we were dating, it kind of freaked me out.
Because I thought we were just going to go out on our first date.
But the way he made it seem was like we’re a couple.
Even though it freaked me out a bit, I liked it at the same time.
And the reaction of the guys made me feel so good.
Like it wouldn’t bother any of them that we’re dating.
I expected them to be mad or something along those lines.
I certainly didn’t expect them to be happy about it.
“Come on, River. We have to get ready, Emerson will be here in a few minutes.”
“Otay, Mama. Can I wear my motocycle jersey?”
“Of course you can, do you need help getting it on?”
“No I’m a big boy. I can do it.” I hear him giggling.
I smile as I head to his room to check on him. I find him on the floor with one arm in his jersey and the other one stuck in the neck hole with his head. As he’s still giggling, I snap a picture. I love to see the smile on his face
Sawyer: River’s getting ready *pic of him on the floor*
Emerson: HAHAHAH. He’s so damn adorable, can I share this with my family?
Sawyer: Of course. Lol
Emerson: I’ll be there in fifteen minutes
Sawyer: We’ll be ready
“Do you need help now?” I laugh as he’s rolling around on the floor.
“Yes pease.” He giggles more.
I laugh and help him get it on right.
“Tank you, Mama.”
I grab him and kiss his face. “I love you.”
“I wuv you,” he says as he takes off running around the living room.
I grab our jackets and head into the living room to join him and wait for Emerson.
I’m excited to meet his mom, I really hope she likes me.
I worry that she won’t, I mean what if she doesn’t understand why I chose to have River the way I did?
I take a deep breath before I can really start spiraling.
I still feel a little panicky as I hear Emerson’s car pull into my driveway.
“Emerson’s hereeeee! Can I open da door?” River cheers as he heads to the door.
“Wait till he knocks and then you know what to say?” I ask as we hear the knock.
“Whoooo is itttt?” He giggles.
“It’s Emerson,” he says, we can hear him laughing.
River swings the door open.
“Hi Emerson!” He giggles as Emerson picks him up and hugs him.
“Are you ready to have dinner?” he smiles at River.
“Yes!”
I laugh as I follow them out the door. All of a sudden I’m nervous again.
“I need to grab River’s car seat,” I say to Emerson as I try to steer him to my car.
He smiles at me. “I have one for him. My mama got it for us.”
I watch Emerson put River in the new carseat and all I can do is smile.
The idea that his mom got a car seat for River when she hasn’t even met us makes me want to cry.
I can count on one hand the amount of times my parents have seen River.
And it’s never really bothered me until now.
Strangers are kinder to me and my son than my own family.
“Are you okay?” Emerson asks as he drives.
“I can’t believe your mom got River a car seat,” I say softly.
“I hope you’re not mad.”
“No, not at all. It’s a long story and maybe one day I’ll tell you. Just know that it’s a huge thing that your mom did for us.”
Emerson takes my hand and kisses it.
“I want you to know that I would do anything for you and River. Anything. And my family is now your family.”
“How do you know that? What if they really don’t like me?”
My biggest fear is to be rejected again.
“I know my family and I know how I feel about you. There’s nothing you have to worry about.”
I see a huge house come into view.
“Holy crap. This is your house?”
“This is the house my brothers and I bought and we all share it.”
“I love how close you are to your siblings.”
“I can’t wait for you to meet the rest of my family. We’re all really close. In fact, they’re already asking to meet you.”
I laugh. “How do they know about me?”
“Well, Ezra was the first to tell them. But earlier today I told them all about you and River.”
“You told them about us?”
He gets out of the car and opens my door, then he gets River out.
“Of course I did. I know this seems fast to you, but everyone in my family has found their person like I found you. And they’ve all known how they felt right from the start.
It’s okay if you need time, but I want you to know that I don’t.
I know I want to be with you and River. You can both count on me from now on. For anything and everything.”
Is he for real? I don’t know what to say to him. I want to believe him, but how can he know these things after only a few days? And River, if I make the wrong decision, it’s not just me that will be affected by it. My heart is telling me to try, and watching Emerson with River makes my heart happy.