Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Emerson
I can see the hesitation in Sawyer’s eyes as she listens to me.
She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m not going to let her go without a fight.
I will take it slow if I need to, I don’t want to scare her, but I won’t back down.
I take her hand and we head into the house. My mama is the first one to greet us.
“Oh my god, you’re beautiful,” my mama says as she hugs Sawyer. “I’m élodie. And you must be River.”
River smiles at my mama as he nods.
“I’m tree and a half.” He smiles at her as he holds up three fingers.
“Wow! You’re an old man!” she teases him. He’s giggling at her as I put him down.
My da, brothers and sister come to join us.
“Sawyer, this is my baby sister, Eden. Eden, this is Sawyer and River.”
My sister hugs Sawyer and River.
“Squishing me.” River laughs.
My mama orders dinner and we spend the night playing a few games and watching TV. I knew that Sawyer and River would fit in perfectly.
“Would it be okay if I taught River how to ride a motorcycle?” I ask Sawyer quietly.
“I want him to learn, but I need to save up to get a mini motorcycle.”
I look at her.
“I can get it for him. In fact, we still have the ones that we all learned on. I started riding a little later, I was four. But my brothers and sister started around two.”
“Are you sure? No, I can’t let you do that, I can save up and get him one.”
“I told you, you don’t have to do any of this alone ever again,” I say as I kiss her.
I think I’m going to have to work for this. I can see that Sawyer wants to trust me, but there’s something holding her back. It’s a good thing I’m a patient man.
“Sawyer, I wanted to ask you if you’d like to join our family for the next few weeks. We’re heading back to Lake Renegade. We didn’t know if you wanted to see your family. Otherwise, you’re more than welcome to come and stay with us,” my mama says as she’s playing with River.
“I-I don’t really speak to anyone in my family,” she says softly.
“Well then, it’s settled. You and River will come back and stay with us.” She smiles.
I love my mama, she knows exactly how to handle things.
“I wish I could, but I don’t have any savings built up yet. And I can’t afford to travel.”
“You don’t need to pay for anything. You just need to pack for you and River. In fact, you don’t even need to pack a lot. We leave tomorrow night. My brother-in-law is sending his jet for us,” my da says to her.
Sawyer’s eyes get bigger.
“You have a jet?”
“No, my brother-in-law has a jet.” Da laughs.
“I’ve never met anyone that owned a jet.” She laughs.
“Well, now you will. And you’ll love everyone in Lake Renegade,” I say as I kiss her head.
Sawyer leans into me and smiles.
“Is that a yes?” I ask her softly.
“Yes.”
“I can’t wait for you and River to meet the rest of my family.
He’s going to have so much fun. There’s so many kids he can play with, and we have animals on the property too.
You’ll see otters, red pandas, polar bears, white tigers.
They’ve been talking about getting skunks and even seeing if we can get giant pandas. ”
“Do you have a zoo there?” She laughs.
“It seems like it at times.”
I leave out the part where I have to tell her that the red pandas, polar bears and white tigers are shifters. We’ll tackle that one when we get to Lake Renegade. I can’t wait to see the look on her face.
“We should get River home, and I need to pack,” Sawyer says as she yawns.
I stand up and pull her up with me. Everyone gives both of them a hug.
“We’ll pick you up on our way to the airport. So that should be around 3 p.m.,” Da says to her as we’re walking to the door.
“Thank you so much for inviting us to join you on your trip. It really means a lot to me,” Sawyer says as she hugs my parents.
“You’re welcome to come with us on all our trips. I’m sure Emerson will let you know about them.” My mama smiles as she hugs her.
Sawyer
Emerson helps me get River into the house and waits while I get him into bed.
He makes me feel safe and that’s not something I’ve ever really felt.
Ever. And he treats River like he’s just as important to him.
I know it’s wrong, but part of me is waiting for him to decide that it’s all too much and leave. But the other part hopes he doesn’t.
“You didn’t have to stay,” I say as I come back out.
Emerson stands up and hugs me. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden I’m crying. He holds me until I finally calm down.
“I didn’t want to ask in front of the family. And if you’re not ready to tell me, it’s okay.”
I look up at him as he wipes my tears away.
“What happened with your family?”
I sit down on the couch and he sits with me.
I don’t want him to feel sorry for me, but I feel like if I want him to understand me, I need to tell him.
So I proceed to tell him about my childhood.
And how my parents were while I was growing up.
Which also lead me to choose the way I had River.
The whole time I’m talking, Emerson is watching me and listening.
He never interrupts or tries to give me reasons for it. He just listens.
“I’m not telling you all this so that you can feel sorry for me. I have River and my life is good. But yes, I do miss my family some days. But then I remember how they all treated me and I don’t miss them anymore.”
Emerson nods. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. No one should ever feel like that, especially a child. And I wish I could take it all away for you.”
“You make me feel safe. Like I can look forward and rely on someone other than myself.”
“I can’t promise you that things will always be perfect. But I can promise you that you’re never going to be alone again. You and River will always have a family that you can count on.”
I worry that if things go bad with Emerson, I’ll lose what he’s offering me.
“I know you’re worried. But don’t be. I will follow you wherever you go. I’m not going to let you get away from me. And that sounded so much better in my head. Not as stalkerish as it came out.” He chuckles.
I laugh, he’s adorable.
“Thank you,” I say as I kiss him.
“Now, you need to pack. I can stay if you want.”
“Don’t you need to pack?”
“I don’t usually take much. I have most of what I need at our house there.”
“Do you go back often?”
“We try to go back as much as we can. And they all come to races at different times.”
“Do you have a big family?”
“I do. My da has a sister and she has four kids. Then there’s our extended family and that’s a huge number of people. You’ll see them when we get to Lake Renegade.”
“Do they all live there?”
“Yes. Do you like hockey and baseball?”
“I do! I love the Redhawks and the Panthers. Do you?”
“I love both teams and I feel like I should give you a heads up on some of my family. So, Domenico and Gianluca Mancini are my cousins. And Declan O’Reilly is married to my cousin Giovanna. Oh! And Cillian McGregor is with my other cousin, Fiorella.”
All I can do is stare at Emerson. He’s just named all my favorite players in the Chicago Redhawks and the Chicago Panthers.
“Are you serious?”
“I am,” he says as he pulls out his phone and shows me pictures of his family.
Holy shit. I’m going to get to meet all of them.
“You have an incredible life,” I say as I snuggle with him.
“We have an incredible life.”
“Growing up, I never thought I would be lucky enough to meet someone like you. My parents always told me that no one could truly love me.”
“If I told you I loved you, would you believe me?”
“I don’t know. It’s only been a few days. How could you really know that you love me?”
“It’s a feeling I have. Watching my parents and even my aintíns and uncails, growing up, I always heard their love stories. When you hear them, you’ll know what I mean. So just know that I feel it and even though I don’t know how to truly explain it? It’s there.”
Emerson speaks of love in a way that I’ve always wished I could find. Could I really be so lucky to have found my person? And even more, that he could love my son?